Kim - posted on 01/20/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )
let me start off by saying that i was not due until today-jan 20, but i have a 3 week old little girl.
the last 5 weeks of my pregnancy were really rough. the weekend before thanksgiving i started having a really bad right flank pain. i knew it was a kidney stone only because i have had them for almost 6 years now. we went to the hospital and was taken straight to L&D. needless to say, i was admitted and was there for the weekend. i had a stent put in that sunday morning. my doctor put me on restricted activity at 34 weeks by not having me stand for more than 30 min at a time. at 35 weeks she put me on strict mandatory bed rest for my blood pressure. at 35 weeks 6 days, i was sent to the hospital for a PIH workup. at 36 weeks 1 day, i went to the hospital for contractions. at 36 weeks 4 days, i was sent to the hospital again by the doctor for my blood pressure which was 145/105 after only sitting in the waiting room. i was admitted and put on hospital bed rest. at 37 weeks, my doctor induced. she broke my water at 8am, i was at 1-2 cm, 50%, and baby was at a -2 station. by 145pm, baby had had 2 heart rate drops and my bloodpressure bottomed out twice. my doc checked me, and everything was the same except i was at a 3. she decided that it was time to go ahead and take the baby via c-section.
it is now 3 weeks later, and our little girl is perfectly healthy- just small. she was 4lbs 14 oz at birth. at her 2 week check-up she was 5 lbs 6oz. however, i feel like i am suffering from PPD. my doc as put me on zoloft, but i still feel the same. when the baby cries and won't stop even after eating, burping, changing, cuddling, swaddling, i get overwhelmed and give up and don't want to have anyhting to do with her. i feel like a bad mom, and that doesn't help me. also, i feel cheated because i didn't get to go into labor on my own, and i didn't get to experience true labor or a vaginal delivery-which i really wanted to do.
does anyone else feel this way or have any advice for me? i feel so horrible for feeling this way!