Seeing baby right away

Renae - posted on 11/13/2010

I was given my baby almost straight away. They dont lay them straight on you like with a vaginal birth, the baby is first given to the paediatrician to check over which takes literally 1-2 minutes and then baby is usually given to the father or support person to take back to the mother. The baby should stay with the mother from then on. There is no reason for it be any different from a vaginal birth.

Rebecca - posted on 11/12/2010

I had 18 hours of labour, my son flat-lined twice and I got an emergency c-sect at 4am. I got to see him for a few seconds when they lifted him out and then he was rushed off to be checked. I heard him cry while they were prodding at him and was very relieved. I hadn't been able to hear the heatbeat on the monitor for an hour and was convinced he had died.
They cleaned him up, wrapped him up and put him on top of me to hold. I had to get them to hurry him off of me because the medication given to me while they were stitching me up made me vomit. Once that was over I requested my husband hold the baby just in case. He held him up until they had taken us back to a recovery room, weighed the baby and did all of that stuff. About an hour and a half later I got my first real hold and first feed. After that he was in and out of the nursery all day. I only got to hold him again late in the afternoon and after that they discovered he was having difficulty breathing and he was put into an incubator. I didn't see him again until the next day then we were transferred to a specialist baby hospital and he was given a breathing tube. I was only allowed to hold him again that night and was given my second shot at breastfeeding.
I was so upset because during my pregnancy people had said that because of this sort of stuff I'd never bond with him, I wouldn't be able to breatsfeed, etc.
it's all BS... My milk still came in on time and a few days later when he was finally released from the NICU and I could finally cuddle him without all the tubes and wires everything was fine. I feel I lost nothing and I am just so glad that he is ok.
My second baby was going to be a VBAC, but C-section if she didn't come a week before her due date. She didn't come on her own so I went back for a C-section.
Same thing, they showed me bubs for a few seconds then whisked her away, I asked them straight away to give her to my hubby as I didn't want a repeat of last time, I got to look at her from the operating table, then I was taken away for recovery. She was taken upstairs to maternity to get weighed and stuff and my husband went with her to take photos, I missed all of that this time.
I got to try breastfeeding about an hour later and this time she got to stay with me in my room.
I don't feel I was robbed in any way at all, I have two beautiful healthy children no thanks to my uterus and reproductive system (hehe) We had no issues in the end with breast feeding, and we have bonded fantastically. My only advice for women about to have their first or subsequent children is to have a plan, but accept deviations. Nothing worthwhile in life is ever easy and very few times things will go to plan.
Accept that deviations from the plan is not failure and that there is always time to get to know your baby as long as your not letting you're own disappointment get in the way.

Brie - posted on 11/11/2010

i understand how you feel... my mom and husband were in the OR with me and while i got to see my son, doctor wiped him a little and wrapped him up and handed him to my husband and he showed me then the nurses took him and my mom and hubby to have the baby cleaned up, i didn't get to hold him... i was so mad at my husband, well more envious of him, because he got to hold him first and while i didn't have to go into labor and have him naturally i felt that i lost that "bond" and the holding as soon as born "bond"... after being stitched and stapled and taken to recovery (my surgery was scheduled because he would go between breech and transverse, sideways.) they never brought him into the room until about 10-15 minutes after i got to the room... and i had at least 10 people waiting for me in recovery i almost thought i wouldn't get to hold him... i don't think that you are over reacting at all... your just being a mom!!! i totally agree but i think i would have lost it if they wouldn't have at least let me seen him!!!

Brandy - posted on 11/08/2010

no you're not being to sensitive that's an important moment for us and its not fair when its taken away. i didn't get to see my daughter in the OR because she was born at 28wks and had to be taken to the nicu immediately, my husband saw her from a distance as they were cleaning her and while i was in recovery my family was able to see what she looked like, i however did not. the next day i was wheeled into the nicu to look at her through the glass of her isolette but she was covered in tubes breathing equipment and her face was covered from the blind fold because she was under the billy lights and she was wearing a hat so i couldn't even see her hair. i didn't know what she looked like for about 2 months and i didn't get to hold her for a long time and when i did it was only for a moment because every second she was out of the isolette she was in danger. when we did hold her we were not allowed to stroke her or rock her it was torture. needless to say when i brought her home all i did was hold her.

Heidi - posted on 11/06/2010

I had to have an emergency C-section when I had my daughter in April 2010, she was born at 8 am, and I didn't get to see her until noon after getting out of recovery. It did upset me at first, that is the only part of the whole thing that bothered me, I was fine with not having her "naturally" because she was came out safe and healthy. The one thing that does still bother me though, it wasn't just my husband, mother, and sister that got to see her before me, but also everyone on my husband's facebook page, as he took a picture of her and posted it the second he saw her!

Kimrose - posted on 11/05/2010

@ Amanda - Sounds like a smart good plan :) And I waited FOREVER to do even a bit of research - so good for you! :) BEST WISHES for an easier/happier birth in the future! :)

Amanda - posted on 11/05/2010

Kimrose- Thank you for your kind words. In the early weeks after my delivery I did do resurch on VBAC's I wanted so badly to look into it. Then I came to terms with the whole having to have sections and now I am looking into it again. I want to get a copy of my medical record but unfortunately I am not working right now so I cant afford to get them. Once I do get a job though or save up the money to get them I am. I also plan to get a second opinion prior to trying to convieve again. Hopefully things will be diffrent. My intuition tells me that my daughter was in the OP position and that is the reason I couldnt birth her. We will see when I get my records hopefully in a few months.

Lee Ann - posted on 11/01/2010

When i had my emergency c-section i got to see my daughter right after the pulled her out, then again after they got her all cleaned up and in her blanket, i even got my hubby to take a pic of her right beside of my head before they started stitching me back together, not sure why they didn't do that with you hun, that dose suck, I'm sorry

Tabby - posted on 10/28/2010

Thank you everyone for sharing with me!! I feel slightly better knowing I'm not the only one who went through this and still feels this way. I think the second time around I'm going to ask the hospital staff before I go into labor or the OR what their policies are... I don't want to have this feeling with a second baby as well as the first. I'm not sure I could handle it...

Kimrose - posted on 10/27/2010

Amanda - I am SO sorry for you - and at 12 weeks out it is still so soon...I am 5 years out from my experience (and pregnant now :) I remember having my son be the JOY/center of my days and STILL grieving the birth - I know it's HARD. Hang in there - it doesn't go away - but it does change... I just HAD to throw out there - b/c I know HOW many times women are told that they "can't"/"SHOULDN'T" VBAC and it's just opinion...even my records say "future trial of labor is contraindicated in this patient" - I have a "T" incision from my cesarean/slightly higher rupture rate...not enough to EVER make me choose cesarean soley for that - but almost ANY doc. would rather I had one. My point is just - when you're ready - no need to do it now - you have enough to get through - you can really research your reasons "why" you aren't a VBAC candidate. My point is just that even if it seems like an absolute to you now - as I always thought mine was - it might not be. Again - I'm not suggesting you give it any energy now - and if you are looking at a c-section again at least as you said - you can try and affect the outcome...I've just heard SO MANY "I can't VBAC" situations that aren't truly if you talk to the right providers - I'd personally suggest a MW...
Just thinking of you/had to respond b/c I remember how "raw" you feel when it's all new :( ♥ Hang in there and know (sadly) you're not alone - and I know it probably makes you appreciate the happiness you feel w/your daughter even more - noone can take that away!!! Congratulations on that beautiful part of your story/your little girl! ♥

Amanda - posted on 10/26/2010

I had a tramatic delivery. I was in labor for 27 hours pushed for 2 and then found out I needed a section due to fetal distress. Once in the OR it was discovered that my epi was not working and I needed to be put under general. Upon coming out of general I was having a hard time breathing, I was throwing up during L&D (TMI) and had secreations on my vocal box because of this I had paralization of my vocal cords. Due to all of this I was taken to the main hospital recovery area for surgury and did not see my daughter for over 4 hours. This was extreamly hard for me because my husband and I choose not to find out the sex of our baby until delivery. I did not know that I had a baby girl until 4 hours later and by that time everyone in my family (my parents and his parents and my sister) had already got to hold her. I did not even know I had a girl until I was being wheeled back to my room. I cried and cried hard about this for weeks following my delivery. I am 12 week pp and still find myself having difficult days. I have a fear for my next delivery (it will be by c-section, I am not able to try for a VBAC) that the same thing will happen. What bothers me more is that my husband who has a hard time dealing with blood, fluids and all that will never be in the delivery room with me because of risk for passing out. My mom will be and if we keep with the suprise aspect of our delivery he wont know until after my mom has. You are not being sensitve at all is my point. For my next birth I will have strict instructions that my child be cleaned up and given directly to my husband unless medically the baby needs otherwise. My husband will be told to not allow anyone but himself or a nurse or doctor to hold our child until I have gotten the chance. Selfish maybe but I need to have the experiance I missed with my daughter.

Kimrose - posted on 10/20/2010

WOW - not for a SECOND are you being overly "sensitive"...
My first birth I had an all natural labor and pushing when they realized my son was breech - rushed me for an emergency cesarean - I was unconscious when my DS was born :( so did not get to "meet" him until later. It did - and still does - DEVASTATE me that several people got to see, touch and hold my son before I did. I have always been grateful that my husband watched the surgery - for some reason that helps a "tiny" bit - that at least his eyes saw our son when he was first born.
I don't undertstand why you didn't get to see your daughter though - maybe I missed it - did you have general anesthesia - or would they just not good about making sure you saw her - then I'd be mad/sad for a whole other reason. ;(
It's such a priceless once-in-a-lifetime moment - I don't think you can feel anything but cheated for having to wait for it longer than other/more distant people to whom it undoubtedly mattered less.
I'm pregnant now hoping for a VBAC and HOPE I get that this time - and STILL I will be sad and grieve the fact that it was stolen from me with my son...

Angela - posted on 10/19/2010

I guess I'm the odd woman out....my daughter was given to my husband after she was cleaned up and then handed to me while I was being stitched up and x-rayed (hospital procedure to make sure they didn't leave any instruments or anything inside....nice, huh?). I'm scheduled for a second c-section in 4 weeks, so we'll see if they've changed procedures at all.

Amanda - posted on 10/17/2010

i don't think your being sensitive. When my son was born i had to be knocked out because my disks in my back are too close together to get a needle in right. (they figured this out after attempting to get it in about 8 times i was crying so much) when i first woke up i wasn't sure if he was okay, if he was really a boy, how much he weighed, what he looked like, i didn't hear his first cry... i didn't even get to see him for an hour after i woke up because they kept me in recovery! i felt so robbed... thats why i pushed so hard for a Vbac with my second. that i got to hear my little girls first cry and have her put on my chest right away was so amazing... my son is 2 and a half almost and it still bugs me. I would have given anything... and of course my ex was an idiot and didn;t even take more then two pictures and ONE 5 second video... if i could have been in his place i woulda turned that video on the moment they pulled him out until they were finished weighing, measuring and wrapping him up. then i'd only turn it off so i could hold him.

Tyrae - posted on 10/15/2010

as far as i know that is pretty routine. they might let you touch the baby quickly before she is wisked away, but for the most part you don't get to see her for an hour or more.

Cherelle - posted on 10/14/2010

the same thing happend to me it was up to an hour after i had my son i was aloud to see him in the recovery room i wasnt aloud any1 in with me so all he saw for the first hour was doctors and nurses. it annoys me all the time if i need a c section next time im going to insist on seein him first i dont think it is normal procedure perhaps sometimes they forget :s i did howether shout at them! im so glad i found this convo i was starting to feel alone on this situation!! x

Erin - posted on 10/13/2010

I only saw my son for a brief moment right before they took him to get cleaned and weighed and such. I finally got to hold him when I was in my room that I was to stay in for the duration of my stay.

Tabby - posted on 10/11/2010

I am that way with my daughter now... Since my husband wasn't there he doesn't understand why I won't let someone else watch over her and why I have to take her everywhere with me. And I had a hard time bonding with her at first too... in the hospital I did fine but when I got home I had a hard time associating her with the baby that was inside me for 10 months. When I did finally bond with her I wouldn't let her go... she slept on my chest until she was 2 months and she slept in my room with me until she was 6 months. My mom kept telling me I should put her down or I should put her in her own room but I just couldn't stand not being near her. I still check on her all the time when she takes naps and before I go to bed. I also jump right out of bed and go to her in her room when she wakes up at night... sometimes I feel llike I'm smoothering her but I just can't help it... I feel like since I missed that most important moment that I don't wanna miss the tinest thing she does now. I'm glad to know I'm not going crazy and that there are other out there that feel the way I do... I'm nervous to have a second child because I don't want to go through the whole thing again... it was such a horrible feeling not being able to bond with her right away and it made me feel like a horrible mother... I still feel like I was horrible for having those feelings. Please let me know if you get to see your baby right away and what you had to do to be sure you got to see her...

Casey - posted on 10/11/2010

I know how you feel, I went thought the same thing when I had my son and I suffered really bad postnatal depression afterwards because of it, I struggled to really bond with him for the first couple of weeks because I didn't see him for hours after I had him via c-section so it was hard to associate him as the baby that was inside of me it was such a weird horrible feeling and it has stayed with me. I have a great relationship with my son now and I love him to death but now I have really bad seperation anxiety over him and I won't let anyone else look after him and I can't bear to be away from him even for a couple of hours.
I am pregnant now with my second one and I am having a planned c-section and I am going to stress on my doctor and hospital staff that I simply can't go through with them taking my baby away from me straight after the birth and if they "have to" take him away straight away then I will go to another hospital cause I just won't do it again unless there is some kind of emergency with him.

Kenisha - posted on 10/11/2010

I understand how you feel. I'm not sure if thats normal procedure or not. When I had my little boy in July at 12:05 am the doctor quickly showed him to me and gave him to the nurses to clean up. Once he was clean my mom brought him over to me so I could look at him but it was for a brief moment and I didn't get to see him again until I woke up at 5 that morning and asked the nurses to bring him to me. I was so upset that I didn't get to breastfeed immediately after like I asked that I left him in the room with me the entire time I was in the hospital.



I think that feeling will always be with you (and me) b/c its a moment of time you didn't get to experience like you wanted to. But, look at it like this...you'll get to spend the rest of your life watching your daughter grow and change everyday and no one can rob you of that!