Considering leaving my career to stay at home?!?! Is it worth it?

Starlit - posted on 01/25/2010 ( 39 moms have responded )

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Ok so I have worked my whole adult life, well since I was 16. I am now the mother of an amazing chatter box 5 year old and and awesome 2 month old. I went back to work at 3 weeks with both my children, my husband doesn't want anymore and so I am sooo wanting to leave my job to stay at home so I do not miss out on all of the special moments my children have. My only concern is that I make good money and so does my husband...so with that we have spent money. We have around $3000 in bills a month; which isn't bad but it would be so tight and I would have to sell or default on my brand new $600 month car note. Has anyone found a ligitimate at home job so that women staying home can be home and make money? Or should I give up thinking about my children and work?

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Robyn - posted on 05/12/2010

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JUST DO IT!!! You will never regret staying at home with your kids. I too, had a successful career as an RN. I had worked from age 16 until I was 42 years old. I had my last baby at age 39 (my younger husband did not have any children). When we were "just able " to meet the bills with my husbands income (also scared about the loss of my income), we waged the score with my wanting not to miss those "special irreplaceable moments." I have been home ever since my youngest daughter turned 3 years old. She is now 9. We have been blessed by God and my husband has increased his earnings to match what we made together!! GOD IS GOOD. HE WANTS YOU TO RAISE YOUR OWN KIDS!!!!



They will only be little for a short while. My oldest is 28 yr. my middle is 16 and my baby is 9. I had to work and put my kids in daycare for my oldest 2. My baby (by another marriage) I have been blessed to stay home with and GOD HAS PROVIDED!!! Don't be afraid. You will never get this opportunity again! STAY AT HOME! You will not ever regret it or miss the money. I Promise!!! Love and Blessings in your decision. PS Downsize your car. no biggie!!!!! your kids come first!!!! Robyn

Emily - posted on 01/23/2011

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I have really enjoyed reading all of the thoughts and experiences listed on this conversation. I am 28 and expecting my first in 5 months. I have a college education and have had a very successful career as an RN for the last four years, but have always planned to stay at home when the time came to have children. My resolve now is stronger than ever, and I have spent a lot of time thinking about the challenges of the transition ahead. It is such a blessing to know there are other moms out there that feel it is a worth while sacrifice to make! Thank you all for making me feel less alone in this decision!

Karrie - posted on 04/20/2010

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I was a complete workaholic, had a great high-paying job, and loved being part of a creative industry and working with a great group of people. I loved my clients, co-workers, etc. Then I was laid off in August 2009, due to downsizing because of the slow economy. I chose to stay home. I LOVE it. Don't let people scare you that say how hard it is, it really isn't. And this is coming from a mother of a 1 year old and 3 year old. If you have a high pressure job, then you can probably manage anything, including being a full-time mom. I look at it this way, this is only temporary. it's like now is my time to be a full-time mom, while they are young. these years won't last long, and you can't get them back. you can always get another job. I see myself working again in the future, and feel confident that I'll find a job when I'm ready. Stay home, have fun with your kids. even for a brief time, you won't regret it.

Kimrose - posted on 02/03/2010

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Oh My - I feel so strongly about this, but I'll try and temper my response...truly, truly, truly - everyone is different, so LOTS depends on what you feel in your gut! I had ALWAYS worked like you - since 14 - and was VERY independent. I don't even like saying I've done both - having missed any of those days STILL makes me sad - so for me - it's easy - even though - honestly - STAYING HOME is NOT always easy - truly, in some ways, working is easier - or I should say "simpler". I had my own childrens store and was mile-a-minute busy, but the "hard" of staying home is the challenge of doing a good happy job of it - the "hard" of working in terms of your children is MISSING things that never ever come again - that's the hard truth - you do MISS them. Personally, I knew that when I was an old woman, I would NOT regret closing my store - you can always open another store, start a new career, go back to school...you can NEVER get these years back - NEVER - and they're called the "formative" years for a reason - they're truly absorbing everything - shouldn't it be your values/responses/words that they're absorbing? I honestly think LOTS more parents could be home if they were willing - if it was "worth" what some of the extras are in their lives. Every day is not magical - but really - like anything - the more you put in, the more you get out - it's your "job" to give them special days. Personally, I wouldn't trade this time for ANYTHING - my son is four now and I'm THRILLED to be the one to be with him everyday! Everyone will have an opinion - yours - your from-the-gut opinion - is really the only one that counts - Good Luck! :)

Elizabeth - posted on 06/07/2010

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Your desire is a very noble one. There is no greater responsibility that to nurture, love, and teach your little ones before they enter school. However, you must have an exit plan before leaving your job. Sit down and do an excel worksheet budget to look at your expenses. What's coming into the home and where does your money go. When looking at your budget, highlight the extras that you may have to part with such as eating out, starbucks, etc. You may have to call your cable and cell phone companies and down grade to a less expensive package. In order to be a stay at home mother SACRIFICE is the key word.It's not like you're giving up everything...but you must be honest enough with yourself and ask yourself what's more important...the "stuff" in your life you can always get back...or those two people who are now in your life forever that need your love and guidance on daily basis. You can do this Starlit, but it all depends on how much your willing to part with and whether or not your husband brings in enough income to handle the bills.

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39 Comments

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Angela - posted on 02/07/2011

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Im so glad you posted this as my situation is very similar. I also go back and forth on what to do. Suggestions welcomed!!

Alyssa - posted on 02/03/2011

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I was laid off 3 weeks before my son was born. He is now almost two. Our budget is tight at home, but I wouldn't change it for the world because of all the fun and wonderful things I get to participate in with Liam. It is so worth being at home! Just remeber to take time for you and to find a social outlet. It is easy to get isolated as a stay at home mom.

Nancy - posted on 02/02/2011

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You need to think about your real priorities. I had to work when both my kids were infants into toddler stage and then we moved overseas where I was able to stay at home but I stayed active. I would have gone crazy just being at home. But the bills can be an emotional strain and you might find it a bigger adjustment than you think going without once you have had the luxury of having. I loved being at home for them and being able to volunteer at their school, etc. I made good money as well and my job was stressful but my husband's career took us overseas so I had no choice but to quit but I was so ready to leave it at the time....good luck with your decision

Mrs. Gloria - posted on 01/11/2011

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Hey Kathy, I was wondering if u r willing to share info about your job from home. I could really use the help!!

Nancy - posted on 09/09/2010

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I had a career with the Dept of the Army and only had my maternity leave with both of my daughters. Luckily, the day care was on the Post where I worked so I could see them occasionally when they went on walks. When my husband was assigned overseas, I had the opportunity to stay home, the girls were then about 3 1/2 and 6. I was able to volunteer at their school, go on field trips, etc. and I loved it. I still had me time, time for the house, time to get acquanited with my foreign surroundings and made friends. True, living overseas is a different environment but I loved having the time to be with the kids and have never regretted leaving my career of 17 years. Maybe I will once the retirement checks start kicking in :) There have been times that finances are tight and as the girls grew older, I found some part time work close to home that helped with the finances, gave me an outlet, and still allowed me to be home when the girls needed me.

Dana - posted on 08/01/2010

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I have not missed leaving the corporate world for working at home. My hours are around the kids. It was a sacrifice at first and took more hours to formulate than I thought, but after the initial struggle, things took off, good habits, organization, and discipline were formed. It has been freeing. I have been at it for 18 years now. No regrets and have such memory with my boys!

Nieva - posted on 06/01/2010

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Me too since I was 16yrs old, I am working, now, with help of our Lord, I decided to resign from my job and this quote inspire me so much. "Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs… since the payment is pure love. ~ Mildred B." Love from our children is the most important. While they are still young we should have to teach them to love their parents not to love the material things in this world. God will provide everything we only need to abide in Him.

May God be praise and may God bless you always.

Sarah - posted on 05/28/2010

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I'm staying at home now, but I'm looking to go back to work, we're just too tight financially to afford me staying home anymore. I love my daughter, and I love the time we've had these past 8 months, but I will be a better parent when I'm not so stressed about money. It's not for everyone or every situation.

Micheline - posted on 05/27/2010

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Three years ago, I decided to try working from home - it was the single best decision I've ever made. There are hundreds of companies that let you work from home, so begin by doing some research. There are jewelry companies, skincare companies, house wares - find something that you can feel passionate about and check out those companies. You WILL have to work - it's not an easy job where you will sit back and collect money - but you will be able to work on your own time when your kids are sleeping or at school. You'll also be able to weave your job into your day. In my three years with my company, I'm making more than I could have made at a regular job. Find yourself a reputable company and work your way up - not only will you be able to be there for your kids, but you'll be working for yourself and not someone else. You'll love your life~

Bev - posted on 05/19/2010

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Never give up! Do you remember when there was a time when you and your husband did not make alot of money? Well you really need to go back to your roots and if you always had money well its time to think thrifty... Your kids do not need things all they really need is the LOVE of their parents. I can tell you I said the same thing "I make good money" but now looking back how stupid was I to compare having money over my children. I feel once you decide to have children we all start to make sacrifices. I wish you luck, Happy stay at home mother of four.

Rachel - posted on 05/18/2010

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I definitely agree with what some of the other ladies have said: pay off debt first and practice living with one income for a few months. The last thing you want is to quit your job and then be uber-stressed about finances.

There are lots of options though. You could work part-time. You could work from home (or telecommute). In terms of working from home, you have to look at your skill set and then see what is out there that you could do. You may not make as much money, but it may be satisfying to keep working.

Personally, I have always been a career woman, worked my way through college, etc. I love my job. But, I really want to be more available for my kids, be able to take them to the park, the zoo, etc. I want to build special memories with them because the years will fly by. Their development is so important to me! So, my solution is to work part-time until I finish my MBA. I plan to work as a business consultant part-time after I complete my MBA. This will allow me to continue to work at something I love, make excellent money, and prioritize my kids.

Never stop looking for more options! There is a solution out there for you and, with some creative thinking and research, you will find it.

Rachel

Marie - posted on 05/09/2010

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I don't have any advice for you Starlit, but I am in the same boat. I am planning on quitting my job in another 4 to 6 months and becoming a stay at home mom for a couple of years - until they are school age. At that time, I plan on getting a part time job WHILE they are in school. BUT, reading the comments below helps me feel better about making that decision. It's a tough one. I was/am very good at what I do, I went to college to be a better person and more marketable employee, but once I had a child, all that schooling importance went to the sidelines and I want more than anything to be with my son all day. I want to be there to shape him and guide him. I love his daycare teachers, but I also am troubled by a child being in someone else's care for more than 9 hours a day, while I work. Money will always be a worry - I believe this is so, no matter how much you make a year. But you decide what you need and what you can live without. I hope that you enjoy being a stay at home mom, and I hope I do too.

Alisha - posted on 05/06/2010

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To answer your question about working from home.... I dont' know if you are into this sort of thing or not... but there are companies such as: Premier Jewlry Designs, Longenberger, Thrity-one, Pampered Chef and numerous others that allow you to work and earn money while staying at home. I know that you have to put some money into to it to begin, but I do know of several people that have come to make a good deal of money doing these kinds of things... once again, good luck!!

Alisha - posted on 05/06/2010

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Well, I've got to say, I worked my whole life, starting at 16. After my husband and I got married, I worked for a temp agency so that I could continue to work but also have the liberty to take off when I wanted to travel or what not. When I got pregnant with my first child, I stayed at home and I haven't been back to work since. I do not regret it in the least. We don't live a big fancy house, we don't have expensive things, and I don't drive an expensive vehicle.... however, I have better rewards..... I have a closeness with my two daughters that not everyone is able to have. Also, I haven't missed any milestones I've been here for it all! I don't regret it for even a second! Being a stay at home mom is a full time job of it's own... the payment isn't money; it's pricless memories that I will have forever as well as a closeness with my children that no one else can have! I do miss other adult interaction however, there are plenty of other moms out there that also stay at home and are looking for other moms that do the same... the kids play together and the moms can have adult time as well. In the end, I think it all boils down to what is more important to you and your family. I will tell you this, if you decide to stay at home, there will be some adjustments financially, you will find you can't do everything you once did. I have found numerous activities and places to go around town that have little to no cost and my kids love them! Being a stay at home mom(AKA: homemaker, domestic engineer, etc..) is something if you do it, I don't think you will regret it in the end! Good luck!!

Caroline - posted on 04/21/2010

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Totally agree with the above post, very similar to my experience. Overall I love it and like others have said, no one else is raising my children. Yes you do have days which aren't so great but you have those at work too!!! And I also have a 3 year old and an almost 1 year old.

Shelley - posted on 04/14/2010

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Most definitely yes! Moneys not everything and you have plenty to time to work once your child is older. I was pressured to return to work when my son was 2 & it was ok for awhile although I was never truly happy doing it. My quit when Cody was 4 & only have 8 weeks till he starts school & we are having a ball. I don't remember much of the 2 years I was working..lost the time from when my baby grew to a little boy coz I was too busy. Moneys not everything. Kids are little for such a short time.

Jessica - posted on 04/13/2010

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I just think "Who do I want raising my child?" And I know the answer. I don't want society to raise my child, I want to raise him as well as the others I'll eventually have. So that means I have to sacrifice "things" for "time." My LO is only 3 months, and I'm not regretting my decision.

[deleted account]

Very quickly...because everyone else has summed it up nicely....I am a mom of a 4yr old and a 2yr old. The 2 yr old is all mine, meaning I have raised her as a stay at home mom. My 4 yr old is not. Even though I have been at home with my oldest now since she was 2.5 I still see parts of her that came from her DC provider. I am hoping that as time goes by I will see a better reflection of myself in her but at this point in time I still see glimpses of DC influences...all good mined you, just not all mine, and that makes me sad.

User - posted on 04/09/2010

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All these ladies are correct. It is a challenge to choose to give up your income, and it is a challenge to be a 24/7 mom. I was a teacher, and chose to take a sabbatical to see if we could manage on just one income. Then I quit to be a stay-at-home mom. Your husband may feel that because you are home all the time, the house should be clean, the meals and laundry always done, etc. Don't feel this way, please. Your baby comes first. Some days the house will look like a tornado came through. BUT, do you want others raising her and teaching her their values? That was my concern first and foremost. Yes, you are with them all day and all night. No, you are not officially 'working', but it is one of the most challenging jobs you will ever have. You have to have some 'me' time if you choose to stay home. With that, you can refresh and renew to start a new day with your precious child. I even homeschool now. Yes, it is frustrating sometimes. But the bonds you make will last long into adulthood.
As for income, we have rentals, which makes up for the loss of my income. Some moms sell Avon or BeautiControl or ? after their husbands come home. Some found jobs where they can work at home. Just remember, you are at home for your child, not for your job. A routine comes in very handy, and helps your child be confident in knowing what to expect and helps behavior, also. Good luck in your decision!

Ashley - posted on 04/09/2010

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I have a 4 month old daughter. She is my first and only child and after my maternity leave was over, I decided to stay home. I struggled with the decision b/c of the money and b/c I spent so much time and money on a college degree. I am thrilled that I chose to stay home. Being with her everyday is the greatest thing I have ever done. I am not contributing in any way financially, but am certainly looking for something that I can do from home. I give so much credit to working moms though so if you decide to stay at work, GOOD FOR YOU!!! But remember, staying home is not all its cracked up to be. It can be lonely (especially in the winter when you are locked up!) and it can be frustrating. What I will say, is that in my case, the good days exceed the bad days so it is worth everything that I had to give up.

Cathy - posted on 04/07/2010

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I was in the same dilemma as you too. I love being at home with my son all day! I wouldn't want it any other way now! I just found a business I could work from home to replace my income. and am so happy I can be home while he is growing up! I wouldn't want to go back to working again, and dropping him off at the babysitter and miss these years with him!

[deleted account]

I'm currently having this dilemma at the moment too. I have 6 months left on my maternity but really do not want to go back to work - I think I will miss my baby too much and I hate the thought of someone else raising him (cos he would alwasy be in childcare from 7.30am - after 6pm - we would hardly see him awake whats the point in having a child to do this) but we could not pay our bills on my hubbys wage alone. So I am planning on getting a part time evening job working between 12 and 16 hours just to boost things. That way I get the best of both worlds and don't have to miss out.

Kayla - posted on 04/05/2010

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i am a stay at home mom and i love it... it is the most hard working job BUT most rewarding job you will ever have... Do what your heart tells you to do if you think you can manage it staying home then i would do it... I love waking up and spending the day with my Son... I have pondered the idea of going back to work, i even had a job interview and called the lady back and said i couldnt do it just yet... i love it, but it also isnt for everyone i have talked to plenty of people whom have tried it and they couldnt wait to get a break!

Monica - posted on 04/05/2010

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I just started staying at home about a month ago. I just thought that when I look back I would regret missing my children's lives more than missing a few years of work.

Jennifer - posted on 03/28/2010

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I have been a stay at home mom since I went on maternity leave with my first pregnancy. I would have to say, in my honest opinion, - it is so much easier to go to work than be a stay at home mom. Its is a 24/7 job (litterally) and there's no break. The benefit to having a job is you get paid for it too! I love being with my daughter and watching her grow up and having fun with her all the time, but remember those times when you would get frustrated with your child, well, this will happen a lot more if you had to be with them a lot longer. I don't mean to sound horrible, by all means, please don't get me wrong, its something we as mom do go through, its the way we cope with things naturally, but being a stay at home mom takes a lot out of you and can be extremely frustrating at times. Bad part of it- you have less time for yourself. Best part of it- you have more time with your child.

Alexi - posted on 03/23/2010

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I think it would be worth giving up your job...I am in the process of doing it. We have tried what the other post said and lived off of just my husband's income, only using my income for paying down debt and supplementing where we needed. We found that right now we just can't make it without my income (until more debt is gone), so I started an at home business that has been such a blessing and allowed us to pay down even more debt, plus it is something I can continue doing with my children at home with me when I can quit my full time job.

Brittany - posted on 03/22/2010

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I did the same thing...I love my job but being a mom is more amazing than ever...I gave up looking for a stay at home job because they are really hard to find unless you know someone...its just a joke...it sucks to give up the spending money...but at the same time its amazing being home and not missing anything...plus I think they learn more and are better off with you there...

Wenbi - posted on 02/11/2010

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Before I quit my job, someone recommended that my husband and I try to live off our projected one-income salary for 2 months before I actually quit my job. This gave us some time to adjust our living expenses without the risk of going into debt.

Colette - posted on 02/11/2010

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hi jodi thank u for ur advice loged on to ur site and ireland is not included thanks anyway

Colette - posted on 02/05/2010

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hi starlit i am a stay at home mom and have really enjoyed it but the reality is the older the kids get the more bored u get u start to mis the money u once had and the independence that went with it also the interaction with having work friends i think if u have the money go for it if u dont .......dont

Juliana - posted on 01/26/2010

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Someone once said to me "No one ever looks back and wishes they spent more time working". i always think of that and am ok with not having the best car, clothes o rwhatever...that's not what you'll think about when you get older.

Colleen - posted on 01/25/2010

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I made the decision to,and made sacrafices.The financial thing started out my big concern,but finances can always be worked out with a creative mind.The hard part for me has been being stimulated mentally.

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