Does anyone feel like they're alone even when they're not?

Tuesday - posted on 01/22/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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my husbon works, then goes out to play, comes home eats dinner then plays on the computer. i love him with all my hart and soul, and i could not do what i do or be who i am with out him. I just like hes not on the same page i am.

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Nicole - posted on 01/22/2010

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Sometimes I feel the same, My Hubby is a hard working man he does a great job providing for us, but at times it also feels like I'm a single mom. You see he works long hours 6 days a week. So that leaves me home alone with the kids, ooh I forgot to mention I have 3~ Olivia 11 Mikayla 7 and our youngest Crosby 21months.. It can be hard going everywhere and doing everything by myself. my older girls are in a lot of different activities, they both are in girlscouts, I am actually co-leader for my oldest daughters troop..:) and my middle is in basket ball right now, my oldest is in cheering in the fall, and both of my girls will be starting dance in Feb. so ya see I run around alot and it kinda bums me out that my hubby doesn't get to go to the games or school plays or concerts. I feel like he's missing so much and some day he's gonna regret it, but he's the one working outside the home, what's a girl to do. The thing that does bother me is when he does come home, he only gets to really spend like an hour with the kids before they go to bed. It's not like he's playing a game with them it's more like a 10 minute convo then he eats dinner showers and grabs a beer and chills in front of the t.v. or checks his e-mail I understand he's tired and worked all day.. I get that, but so am I too.. I think it's hard for men to realize that just because they work outside the home doesn't mean that when they come home they are done for the day, I've told him that being a parent is a full time job 24/7 it doesn't end and you have to save some of yourself for the kiddo's too, not just the JOB! I think he gets it a little, hence the word (little)..lol I think as woman and moms we just need to understand men think differently then we do and I guess we should just be gratefull that they do come home everynight and try when they can. I think he wants to be there more but doesn't really know how to balance evrything? well hun I don't want to talk your ear off just wanted to drop you a note to let you know your not alone, there are others like us out there too..:) and if you need a freind to chat with once in a while you can talk with me thru here or add me as a friend here on FB...my name Nicole Turner, ps let me know your from circle of moms so I know who you are.. Take care.

Teresa - posted on 01/22/2010

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have you mentioned this to him?? men sometimes just don't get clues. They need to be told whats going on. tell him you are feeling alone or ignored and would like him to spend more quality time with you. Suggest going to a dinner and movie. somewhere just for the two of you where you can talk. See if there are any concerns on his part. He may be feeling the same way. Communication is the most important factor in a marriage (i feel anyways), it is also the hardest to do, but once you learn how to do it and start using it then everything in your relationship changes for the better!! Just never do any blaming cause that does more damage than good. Tell him how you feel when he comes home and plays on the computer rather than you and say what you would like to happen. Ask him how the both of you could make that happen. That way there is no blaming, you both are part of the conversation and you both come up with a plan on how to change it. Good luck and remember you are never alone!!

Atim - posted on 03/31/2010

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all of u are so right. It shows that most wives/moms live the same lives regardless of continent or location. I would only add a few points. 1. We women are wired that way; to need that emotional connection with our other half, so its legit for u to feel that way. 2. Talking about it is good, but I must warn you, it may or may not change anything. What helps is to find something u love to do if u have spare time, and make sure u find time to make urself happy. All the best.

Jocelyn - posted on 03/27/2010

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I often joke that I am a well funded single mom! My husband too lives his job. Lately I've been jealous. It would be nice to escape back into the world of just working. I agree with the other posts to try and talk with him about it. At the same time, he may or may not get it. Reach out to others especially women who are avaliable during the day.

Alice - posted on 03/19/2010

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ya. it sucks. they think they work hard during the day and they should get a break during the evening. littld do they know we work thru the nite and... o great. my lil monsteres wakingup for his nap. gotta go

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Denise - posted on 04/08/2010

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hi i'm new but know how u feel i feel this way a lot of the time especially when i am trying to manage the house, work and do everything at the same time. While i am trying to do all this my big wonderful, loving husband is sitting on the couch watching television or in our room doing his own thing while i am so exhausted by 11pm that i can't even pay attention to his needs at night especially when i have to be up at 5:30 am for work so yes sometimes it feels like we aren't on the some page

Jerri-Anne - posted on 03/29/2010

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haha sorry a bit off topic. it is funny when hubby comes home and says " I've had a stressfull day" and i've been doing an educational program with the litttle oane, and still have to clean 3bedrooms a lounge,kitchen, bathroom and sunroom, then cook and do homework with the older child not to forget wash dry and pack away washing, feed the chilidren and bath them, I am trying to fix the house we live in so I spend an hour on stripping paint, or painting walls. stressfull hahahaha

Brandy - posted on 03/20/2010

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talk that is best thing to do my husband and I have the same issuses and we have to talk about it to solve it. If you don't talk nothing happens hun,

Alice - posted on 03/20/2010

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lol diane my man say that same excuse " i cant take care of him as good as you can" or he just want you"

Diane - posted on 03/20/2010

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My husband does the same thing. His excuses range from "Well, I don't know how to take care of her the same way you do and don't want to get in your way." to "I've worked a lot of hours and need to decompress" (usually until the baby goes to sleep :( ) I wish I had advice for you but really all I can say at this time is your not alone.........

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