How do you deal with isolation from friendships?

Kelli - posted on 04/15/2011 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I am a woman who has worked from the time I turned 15 until I quit work at the age of 39 with a two year old. We recently moved to a new place. I am truly struggling with my lack of friends. Co-workers have played that roll since high school. I return to visit my former community and feel like an isolated outsider. How do you deal with this isolation and how do you make friends??? Our home is semi-rural and with gas prices rising we can't afford to just run around to parks and play places where others might be.

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Kristi - posted on 08/09/2011

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I think if I was in your shoes, and struggling with an isolated location, I would make a once a week plan with a group of other moms and kids. Then invite others to come to you. Talk by phone and email. But commit to that once per week. You could do that, I think. Consider Meetup groups, Moms Club International, La Leche League or other groups where you could meet women like yourself. Also consider volunteering with your child or offering babysitting services so you can meet other parents in the area. Definitely commit to that once a week though and see if you can jumpstart some folks to your place from there. Good luck! :)

Jordan - posted on 08/05/2011

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In all honesty I wait till my daughter takes her naps or has gone to sleep at night and I get online and facebook, email, or call my friends because I just moved to a new area too... I also have been trying to meet my neighbors and people in the grocery or USPS line *smile* Also, you can join a group, I am a Mary Kay Beauty Consultant and we have weekly meetings, phone calls, and chats I can be involved in if I choose. If you have a church, maybe you can get involved with the ladies there. Hope this helps!

Evone - posted on 07/06/2011

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i dont really know how to make friends but i will tell you that being on here is a good way to start. i just brought my house..n i know no one in this neighborhood..but i have met some interesting ppl on here..isolation sucks...trust i know...but sometimes its for the best, what better way to start over, than to be around ppl that know nothing about you...think of it as a way to re-invent yourself. N try a little boldness...speak to ppl even when they dont speak back...a simple good morning or how are you doing today..makes a difference...you'll be suprised at the out come. n if you still dont make friends...guess what sooo what...maybe those ppl weren't meant to be friends with you...their loss not yours.

Amanda - posted on 07/03/2011

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I live in a sprawling suburban area, yet I still feel lonely. My good friends are no longer close, and honestly, I don't make friends that easily. I think some of my other parent acquaintances are envious that I get to stay home, so that puts a wedge in with any relationship we might have. I tried going to MOPS, but I went too late in the year. I might try it when they start up again in August, I think it is, but I am also going back to school, so I am just not sure. I want to meet other people for myself but also my son. He is almost 2, and he just LOVES spending time with other kids. *Sigh*

Elizabeth - posted on 05/31/2011

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I understand where you are coming from. I have been working since the age of 16, until I was laid off from my teaching job at the private school where I worked due to low-enrollment, which was a direct result of this crummy economy. I turned to FB because alot of my college and even high school friends were on it and I was able to reconnect with them. I discovered that alot of them were dealing with the same issues that I was and their encouragement made alot of difference. I would also encourage you to do some research and possibly join a church. That has also been a blessing to me. I hope this helps you. Continued blessings.

Amelia - posted on 04/25/2011

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Find a good mom's group in your area. meetup.com is a great place to find groups. That is how I found my mom's group in my last town (very small and rural) and now in my new city. Having lived in a town where you had to drive 30-45 minutes to get to the city, so I understand how you feel. If there is a mom's group on meetup in your area then they will have a calendar and you will be able to make plans to meet them places. That way you won't just be driving around hoping to meet people. And if there is not already a group, then you can start one. Or just google "mom's groups" in where ever you live. Also, usually larger churches have some type of mom's Bible study group or MOPS group. A good mom's group will help you keep your sanity.

Chairettie - posted on 04/22/2011

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I can relate to that. We were trying to get pregnant so I resigned about a year and 1/2 before my twins were born and 2 months before they were born we moved to another state where I have no one and know no one. It is difficult and it wasn't until a month or so ago that I met someone from a group I signed up with on line in my area. I still do not really "know" anyone and it is lonely because my husband travels a ton. Have you tried searching on line for a local group that you can at least play a play date with once a month or at least keep in touch with on line and through phone calls. It is tough. I am in the Air Force Reserves and the job I had I worked full time on the base and when I go back for duty each month there is a different feel and that isolation you speak of is there to some degree. Life changes quite a bit when you go from indepenence and a busy life to dependent and solitude, it is hard but we need to try to adapt as best we can. I hope you find someone soon in your local area that you can befriend and take away that isolated feeling.

Jeannie - posted on 04/20/2011

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I feel the same way you do, I have always worked... i even volunteered for several years before i was old enough to work, and like you my co-workers were my closest friends. I worked weekends with my first baby, so we didn't have to take her to daycare, then i went to nights with the second baby for the same reason, but when the 3rd came along i was worn out from the odd hours and lack of sleep that we thought me staying home full time would be best, and don't get me wrong i love it, but i do feel isolated also, because we do live in a rural area and like you gas is so high i try not to go very many places... and now with baby number 4 on the way i feel a little overwhelmed that i might never be able to go back to work, i dunno sometimes i feel selfish for not just being satisfied, but it would be nice to have someone to talk to..

Jeannie - posted on 04/20/2011

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I feel the same way you do, I have always worked... i even volunteered for several years before i was old enough to work, and like you my co-workers were my closest friends. I worked weekends with my first baby, so we didn't have to take her to daycare, then i went to nights with the second baby for the same reason, but when the 3rd came along i was worn out from the odd hours and lack of sleep that we thought me staying home full time would be best, and don't get me wrong i love it, but i do feel isolated also, because we do live in a rural area and like you gas is so high i try not to go very many places... and now with baby number 4 on the way i feel a little overwhelmed that i might never be able to go back to work, i dunno sometimes i feel selfish for not just being satisfied, but it would be nice to have someone to talk to..

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