Making the decision

[deleted account] ( 13 moms have responded )

I am 20 weeks today and I am struggling with the decision as to whether I should stay home or return to my job after birth. Any Pros and Cons of your own?

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Charlotte - posted on 05/15/2011

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Before having a baby, I was certain that I would return to work as I loved my job,was well paid and had career plans for the future. Never in a million years did I see myself as a SAHM. Once the baby arrived however, everything changed. As my maternity leave drew to a close, I became so emotional at the thought of leaving my daughter (at 3 months). Bottom line was that no matter how we weighed up the pros and cons of staying at home, it felt wrong for me to go back to work. You will not truly know how you will feel until you have had the baby. Even then, your heart may tell you one thing and your brain may tell you something completely different. I followed my heart as I was an emotional wreck and our childcare alternatives were mediocre! I still miss my job and the people I worked with, but resigning was the best decision for me and my family. Don't forget that you can always change your mind, so try not to burn any bridges at your workplace if you decide to leave! If you stay at home, the key is to make other mommy friends if you don't already have them e.g., join mommy and me classes etc. to get out the house.

Valarie - posted on 03/26/2011

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Amy, I would plan to go back to work and go from there. I worked with my first child part time for the first year she was born. I felt like it was a good balance because she slept most of the time in daycare and I still was able to interact with my peers. I decided to stay home after that and that can be very difficult if you enjoy your job and the people you work with. I was working until recently and we had to move but if I was still back home I would have kept my job 20hrs a week for the adult interaction and support not for the money lol because it was minimum wage.

♥TIA♥ - posted on 03/23/2011

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Well, I prefer to work. I would love love love to stay at home and work, because I did it for my first and some part for my second child. However, it seems my husband has turned out to love being a homemaker! So looks like I will be working. I am currently just starting a business that can be done from home, so hopefully we both can be full time homemakers that get paid! What ever your decision good luck. As for me, I must make it happen to keep our family financial going. It will be a last minute after birth decision I make or he will make as to work or stay home.

Megan - posted on 03/16/2011

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I left my job to be a stay at home mom, thankfully my boyfriend's income supports us. I love being home with my son. I do not miss a beat with him. I have seen all of his firsts thus far, and it is truly special. As far as adult interaction, I miss it, and you do have some lonely moments. They pass. However, I have family and friends to take care of that. I am currently enrolled in college online classes, and I am going to dread leaving my little ham to work!

Melissa - posted on 01/31/2011

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I wouldn't know what its like to go back to a 9-5 job after having a baby. I just had my son Oct 30th. I love being home with him. Of course there are going to be moments that you feel like you are breaking but its only if you don't get some sleep. I think you have to analyze your situation and decide what is it that you want, what can you afford to do, etc. I personally have to bring in money because my husband is just starting his career and makes horrible pay. Luckily I can work from home with my business so i can I have my cake and eat it too :) How are you feeling as you approach the end of your pregnancy? I live in Ca - where do you live?
Melissa Ahern

Kelli - posted on 01/19/2011

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I worked at Delta Airlines for 12 years and had to make the decicison whether or not it was worth it to continue. I struggled with finding someone to watch my kids when my shift began at 5am and my husband traveled for work. My dream was to travel with my family so giving it up felt like golden handcuffs however I wouldn't trade it for the world. The time I have been home is such a blessing. When I quit work my kids were 1 and 3 now they are 16, 13, 9! There has been financial struggles along the way but I did find I could work from home and that has helped alot. It's very flexible, I set my own hours and the company I work for sells products we would be buying at the store anyway, now they are just safer, healthier products for our family and I can share them with others and help financially add to our budget! It's pretty exciting! I hope you can be at peace with your decision but just remember you can never get this time back!

Vanessa - posted on 11/24/2010

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I was a manager in retail and had a very unpredictable schedule and high stress my husband has a job that is almost as unpredictable so day care would be almost impossible to use since niether one of us got out of work before 6 and sometimes work nights. The latest we could find a day care stayed open was 6pm plus the cost for part time was more then half my salary per month. PRO - I get to be home for everything everyday, CON I get to be home everyday for evrything PRO I get to raise my child not a stranger CON I am used to being in control and you find out that the baby is in control like it or not PRO we save money in the long run by not haveing to pay daycare CON I feel like I am not contributing to the family income anymore PRO I no longer have the stress of my job. CON I now put the stress on myself to make sure I am taking care of my son, the house, and my husband sometimes I feel like I should be June Cleaver but I am sooo far from it I think my husband is excited for me if I get to take a shower each day LOL! You will find pleanty of pros and cons but I know I am so excited and lucky to be able to stay home with my son. good luck with your decision do what is best for you!

Domonique - posted on 11/23/2010

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I am now a SAHM after serving 7.5 yrs in the service. My boys are 3 and 21months. I too had a high stress job and i do not regret making the change.if you can afford to stay home and you keep thinking about ... the you should do it. you can always go back to work, but babies will only be babies once. enjoy them that time goes by so fast. and if you get bored look for a mommy and me play group. hope this helps

[deleted account]

I have family and friends around so I don't think I will have an adult interaction situation. My job is very stressful and requires a lot of overtime. Is it worth the money I make? I just don't know...

Iysha - posted on 11/17/2010

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I really liked working and having the grown up interaction....When my daughter was an infant, I liked bing home but was obligated to work at least part time so I went back part time. I quit after 3 months when my daughter was 6 months because i had to move about 3 hours away. i have since been a SAHM and I'm really missing work. My daughter is 16 months so it has been 10 months since I've worked. I would prefer to work because I get super lonely with only my daughter to talk to. If My fiance could work one job and have the income we need and I had friends or family around and if I didnt have pets to take care of and keep from killing eachother than I would love being a SAHM. Right now I dont like it because I dont have anybody to talk to, my fiance works more that he used to, and I have pets that drive me crazy....If i was working again I could get the much needed adult interaction, my daughter would be making little friends at daycare, but my income would not be enough to cover child care and make much of a difference in our total income....With my fiance working 2 jobs, all the money goes to family but the consequense is that he is home less often. So, those are some things to consider. I wont get a job until I can find one that makes the same or more than my husband's income With paying for child care.

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