Vanessa - posted on 12/09/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )
Our 2 1/2 year old daughter is a handful. She goes through stages of rebellious acts and then calms down, totally understandable as she IS two years old. When my husband comes home or is with us on the weekend her behavior improves loads. I know that kids her age get bored easily and it's our job as parents to find activities (esp. at home) to keep them busy and out of trouble but I can't always find something to interest her. And of course she is going through a phase of asserting her independence because she wants to do everything herself which isn't always safe or possible which leads to a lot of these tantrums.
The thing is my husband says that most of it is my own fault. He told me he doesn't think I can cope, that when Im stressed out or agitated I snap at her or loose my temper too much and that I just don't know how to handle her. Which I agree, so I take moments away from her to collect myself so that I dont blow up. BUT when I do that he says Im neglecting her.
It's really upsetting me. He's had this opinion for almost a year now and we are always having this issue arise whenever our her behavior deteriorates. He honestly believes that 99% of the time he knows best. He's a elementary teacher and uses the argument that he deals with this type of behavior all day. Which I can understand and give him his props, but it a little bit different I think when it's YOUR child. I feel like such a let down as a mother but somewhere in the back of my mind I'm thinking if I'm doing the best I can, how can everything I do be wrong?
He thinks our daughter's behavior has improved because she's with her daddy who knows how to handle her and discipline her. I think it is just because she's kept busy. I think I am firm with the discipline, like how my mom raised me, but I know there is always room for improvement. We use time outs mostly or threats to take away something thats important to her. I admit I do *pop* her behind or hand as a final option after my verbal warnings arent working.
Am I doing something wrong or is it just a lack of confidence which is making me accept what my husband is saying.