7 year old with anger issues

Ellen - posted on 05/02/2010

First you need to acknowledge your son's feelings. He needs to know that it is OK to be angry sometimes, but that it is NOT OK to do the things he does when he is angry. Give him alternatives to vent his anger, like going for a walk or listening to music or talking about it. Ask him why he is angry and LISTEN and he will learn to talk it out. Then give him advice on how to deal with whatever it is that made him angry. So many parents do not listen to their children. I have always listened to my children and they have learned to talk out their feelings as opposed to acting out. When my son was little he used to throw things when he got angry. I would tell him I understand that he is angry and it is ok to be angry but that he cannot throw things. Then I would send him to his room until he calmed down. He does not throw things anymore and he is not violent at all. He has learned to talk to me when he is upset. If he is upset because he got in trouble for something he did wrong, I explain to him that he was wrong and why. I have done the same with my daughter and both of my kids have learned to talk out their feelings. My daughter doesn't always talk to me either. Sometimes she chooses to talk to a school counselor or a friend because I have always told her that if she cannot talk to me it is ok to talk to someone else, as long as she talks to someone. Be proactive with the school and advocate for your son. Talk to the teachers and explain the problem and make sure they communicate to you ANYTIME your son acts inappropriately because it is NOT CUTE. You do have a say in what happens at school. Make sure you get your say because if you do not stand up for your son and his well being, who else will?

Michelle - posted on 05/01/2010

You might try finding out if your son is being bullied. If your son hasn't been naughty at in the past than something must have upset him on that day if you find out what happened then talk to the school to see if it can be resolved

Alicia - posted on 04/30/2010

Ashley I have been divorced for 7 years now my son was 2 months when I left my husband for cheating on me. I have sat down with my daughter & my son to explain why we don't live with his dad. My ex is also remarried & has 3 other children & has been in & out of our kids lives since we split. I'm sure my son has heard me say stuff about his dad over the last 7 years but that is cause he happened to over hear me talking on the phone or to a friend I do not talk bad about my ex in front of my kids & have never used my kids as bartering chips!!



Mandi My son is ADHD I forgot to mention that in my question. His counselor believes he has delveloped ODD (opposite defense disorder) I just found this out yesterday. It is common in ADHD kids because they get introuble alot & hear the word no so often cause of thier hyperness. His doctor put him on risperdall to help with his tmeper but said he is really young to start this & we are working on his temper issues. My ex has the attitude that if someone makes him mad he can't beheld responsible for his actions cause they shouldn't have made him mad & I'm afraid that my son is getting the same attitude. Thank you for your input

Mandi - posted on 04/29/2010

Have you had him tested for ADHD? Maybe your Ex teaches him stuff like this, since he thinks it is so funny! Have the counsler at his school talk to him! I wish I could help more I am kinda going through the same thing but my daughter hasn't been suspended from school! I am taking her to see a Dr to see if she has ADD or ADHD! Your son's school counsler can help you with trying to find a dr!

Ashley - posted on 04/29/2010

Child psychologist...they are the ones that can probably bring out through simply counseling/discussion as to what is really bothering him and bringing on this obvious outcry for being heard. At the age of seven, he's not able to rationalize thoughts that Mom and Dad would understand about his anger towards the both of you for breaking up. Kids are normally secure in a family that is a together unit, not located in different locations. He's 7yo honey, his whole feeling of love by you both and being secure has been shattered by the breakup and something tells me that niether of you satdown with him prior to the "we're outta here, tell your worthless father bye". You've probably sat with friends and made nasty statements about your ex (as well as him saying things about you) that he heard without you thinking he was even listening, those feelings hurt him. You need to have him sit with a professional counselor and then ALL 3 OF YOU sit down with the counselor to figure out the ground rules for helping this innocent child. The next thing to do for you and your ex is to NOT play the child as a pawn, he's your child, not a bartering chip.