Anyone get along with thier ex?

Becky - posted on 04/13/2010 ( 124 moms have responded )

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I keep reading thru these posts and they are about complaints, dramas, conflictions. I am sure they are not all that way but... My ex and I fought for the first year or so after he left. Now, people are shocked that we are divorced. And we have only been divorced since summer of 06'. We will talk about other things than our boys. He gets along with my fiance. He comes to the birthday parties I have for the boys. (i cant go to the ones he has. his father doesnt like strong, voiceturious(sp?) women). He calls and comes to see the boys when ever he wants. Of course we have set times but rarely go by them.

Does anyone else on here have good working relationships/friendships with their ex?

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Barb - posted on 11/28/2011

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I have been reading through a lot of posts because my ex just proposed to his girlfriend of a year and my kids will soon have a stepmother and stepbrother and I was curious to see if there were any other people out there that liked and had a good relationship with their kids' stepparent. My ex and I communicate just about every day, granted it is mostly just about the kids, but there have been other things we have talked about. He just proposed and we talked about ours and I told him not to screw it up this time. I like his now fiance and we have all had dinner together and they are invited to everything the kids are involved in. I honestly hope that we will all continue to get along and work together for the kids. We have things set out in the divorce papers, but we don't follow it, we do our own thing with both visitations and child support - we don't go through the court.

Mel - posted on 08/19/2011

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I have been divorced for almost 5 years and to this day my ex and I can not get along! It is frustrating when you try and try and never get any positive reaction! We brought the worst out in eachother when we were married and sadly it continues. I really tried over the years to be civil because of the children (2 boys), but there is only so much one person can do. My attitude now, is the less I have to talk to him and deal with him, the better. He seems to want to pick a fight about everything under the sun and everything the boys do wrong is my fault. It would be beneficial for my children to see their parents on the same page about issues concerning them and getting along, but I have a feeling this day will never come. We fought so much when we were married, that I just dont think its even worth it anymore. Hopless cause!

Christine - posted on 04/14/2010

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I actually get along great with my ex and his new wife. She is the best stepmom I could ever ask for. My daughter loves her and it makes me happy to that they have such a good relationship. I have always said that my ex is a good person, he just wasn't good for me. :-)

Catreal - posted on 04/14/2010

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Yes I do,my ex comes to my house and see's the kids when he can.I drop the kids off to him,I pick up my ex to take him with me to go and vist my step daughter,his daughter.We have our fights but we work it out for our kids!! I help my ex whenever I can and my new husband gets along with my ex also.It is all about choces we choose to make.I choose not to be bitter and angery at my ex,he did some really bad things to me,but that is in the past and that is not my kids fault what he did. I don't want my kids to pay for our mistakes. So many women cannot get over the anger,they let it rule them.And all they are doing is hurting their kids.

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Faye - posted on 11/27/2012

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The ex and I get along great because he has moved out of state. His moving is what causes the fights now. He was just transferred 9 hours away from our home area, (his dad and siblings live here as well) and now expects me to drive 4.5 hours one way to make the exchange with our 17 yo. Oh well, it is the 17 yo SR year in HS so I only have about 6 months left.



He will call me only when the "new" wife is not around to hear the conversation. She keeps him on a VERY short leash as she is whom he cheated with while still married to me. Like April said, I have no desire to be friends with her but I have to be civil with him. We have been separated since Nov 2004 and divorced since Dec 2005.

Michelle - posted on 11/19/2012

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Getting along with your ex takes work but it is better for your children if you do.

Lisa - posted on 11/18/2012

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I did for a while. I did things just as you are and it worked for a while, then things went south. I hope things continue to go well for you because I think your boys will be better off if it does. Good luck. God bless you for trying. I wish you well.

Ashly - posted on 11/15/2012

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yes it takes awhile but eventually you become friends not only for each other but for the kids lol one of my ex's it took 3 years to get along but we do now . I prefer it so much better than fighting you know lol.

Cristina - posted on 11/09/2012

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I get along perfectly fine with my ex. We go on vacation together and do things with our boys all the time. He also gets along with my current boyfriend and we all spend time together. We spend holidays together and even take day trips together. The way we look at it is we both love our children and even if we aren't married we are still a loving family. I know we may not be the norm but if you both love your children you should be able to love each other for being your children's mom or dad.

Nancy - posted on 02/09/2012

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I left my husband 14 yrs ago. After about a year I was sorry that I had, but he was so angry that he didn't want to try and reunite. We have 5 children together. Well last year about 3 weeks before Christmas, he approached me and I was so happy! For this entire past year we have dated, gone to dinner 1-2 times a week, came to my home once a week for dinner, and were getting to know one another again. Then about 2 weeks before Christmas (2011)...almost one year exactly...I find out that he's been 'seeing' a stripper 25 years younger than he (about the same age as our oldest...creep)...for the past couple of years, and he was playing the 'get even' game....how could anyone be so cruel to another person....I don't understand.....and yes...I went and got tested for diseases.....

Lyssa - posted on 01/30/2012

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i get along with most of my exes, unfortunately not the sperm donor of my son. of all relationships that ended, i tried hardest to get him to stay in my sons life, but he couldn't because he hated ME! he decided he didn't want to be a father anymore, drugs and alcohol were more important. and his loss! but for most of the rest of them, even dating back to teenage years, we get along fine! i think it's great when you CAN get along with an ex, father of your children or not!

Jennifer - posted on 01/26/2012

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Yes for the most part my ex and I get along. We have our moments though. It makes life very difficult when the person you are raising your child with isn't on the same page. We have had some major drama in the past but thankfully we are over it and moved on. Not only does it make our lives stress free but also our daughters life too.

Bridget - posted on 12/12/2011

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I have one ex for 14.5 years now and we absolutley do not get along still. I have one ex of 6 years and we have a great co paretning relationship. I guess it depends on the situation.

Bonnie - posted on 12/05/2011

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My divorce was final 10-years ago, but my ex has been bitter & hateful toward me ever since I left him & he still blames me for everything wrong in his life. He has cost me a fortune in legal, counseling, & court fees on top of the medical, dental, prescription, daycare, school, & extra-curricular activities he refused to pay for our children. After 9-years together, I refused to give him yet another chance, because his abusive behavior had progressed from verbal & emotional to physical. Despite his abusive behavior, I have gone out of my way & have put up with a lot of bs from him, his family, & his various girlfriends over the years in an attempt to get along with him for the sake of our children.

Throughout our marriage, one of the ways he was emotionally abusive, was to constantly accuse me of cheating on him. Anytime I left our house even if our children were going with me, he would insinuate that I was going out to meet some guy for sex. When I finally left him for good, I was 7-months pregnant with our youngest son & as before when I told him I was pregnant, he tried to say he wasn’t the father. I was completely faithful to him throughout our marriage, so I never had any doubts he was the father.

In his warped mind, the only possible reason I would leave him & want a divorce was if I was involved with another man. The truth is I was so traumatized by his obsessive & abusive behavior during our marriage I didn’t date anyone seriously until two-years after our divorce was final & when that relationship ended, I gave up on dating altogether & have been single since January 2002. One example of his obsessive behavior is, one night about 3-years after our divorce, I invited my boyfriend over to my house to watch a movie & my ex showed-up at one-o’clock in the morning with our children (ages 9, 6 & 3) & wanted to know why this guy was at my house! He was informed it was non of his business.

My ex on the other hand didn’t even wait until our divorce was final to start dating. He dated a girl named Amanda for a short time, but ended up dating an older woman, Teresa for 2-years during which our divorce became final. I got along fine with Teresa. I felt she was good to my children without trying to take over as their mother. I hoped my ex & Teresa would eventually get married. However, after dating for 2-years he cheated on Teresa with a woman named Judy. After going out on 3 dates with Judy, he called my parents to invite them to his & Judy’s wedding the following week! I had never met Judy & no one seemed to know anything about her, because she had recently moved to our area from a different state. I immediately ran a background check on Judy, because of my concern for the welfare of my children. I discovered that Judy had been married 5 or 6 times. She had Orders of Protection filed against her by 7 different men for physically attacking them when they broke up with her. She had been arrested for domestic violence numerous times. She had been in & out of alcohol & drug rehab since she was fourteen-years-old. The courts had terminated her parental rights to her oldest son, due to abuse & neglect. When I called her ex-husband & explained the situation he mailed me a photograph of the handprint Judy had left on her 2-year-old son’s cheek after smacking him across the face during a violent drunken outburst. No one I spoke to about Judy had anything positive to say about her including her own family members. However, when I tried to talk to my ex about Judy’s background, he refused to listen to anything I had to say. In the end, Judy confronted me & tried to intimidate me, but after I stood up to her & refused to back down, she decided, it wasn’t worth it & broke up with my ex.

It has become very obvious to me that my ex doesn’t really care about anyone, but himself. The only thing that matters to him is what he wants at the moment. His behavior has become increasingly disturbing over the years & I now realize that he needs serious help.


In 2007, my forty-year-old ex began dating a twenty-three-year-old girl named Angie. All I knew about Angie was that she had just graduated from LPN school & she had a 6-year-old daughter. At first I was happy that my ex had finally found someone who could take care of him, so I wouldn’t have to anymore. I first learned about my ex’s intentions to marry Angie after only dating for 2-weeks, when my youngest son told me that his dad was looking at engagement rings at Wal-mart. I was furious that he was going to spend money he didn’t have on an engagement ring when I had just paid his rent to keep him from being evicted again & paid his utilities to keep them from being turned off again. When I asked my ex he insisted they were just friends. However, I found out they were already planning a wedding for later that fall.

Despite going out of my way to be nice to her, it was immediately obvious that Angie didn’t like me right from the start. My first indication that something wasn’t right with Angie came one day when my youngest son asked me who was going to take him to school. I said, “I will take you like I always do.” He replied, “Well, Angie said she is going to take us, & she is going to be our new mommy, because you aren’t going to be around anymore.” Needless, to say I was furious! The next day I again asked my ex who continued insisting that he & Angie were just friends. At some point our conversation became heated & he assaulted me in front of our children. I had him arrested for domestic violence. The next day, believing the courts would force him to go to counseling & he would get the help he needed, I filed an Order of Protection against him, which included our children. He was to have no contact with our children or me until the court hearing on the Order of Protection. He later plead guilty to domestic violence. Sometime over the next day or two, my ex filed a temporary parenting plan with the courts asking for residential custody & every other week visitation with our children. In our divorce, we had both agreed to joint custody & didn’t have a visitation schedule setout in the divorce papers. Basically, it was left up to the children’s personal preference or our work schedules as to whom they would stay with over night. My oldest & youngest son’s usually preferred to stay with me & our middle son usually preferred to stay with his father. Up to this point in their lives, I had at least spent some time with the boys each day even if that meant going to their school to have lunch with them or help in their classroom. If they didn’t spend the night with me because of my work schedule then I always tried to call to tell them goodnight.

Despite the Order of Protection against him, the judge granted my ex residential custody & every other week visitation during which I was only allowed two phone calls with the children. The same day he & Angie went to the justice of the peace & got married after only dating for 1-month. I was served with the papers granting my ex residential custody the following day, which was a Thursday. That Friday my ex showed-up at our middle son’s football practice & was seen touching & talking to both boys, a direct violation of the Order of Protection. I called the police, but the officer refused to arrest him, more or less based on department policy. The next day I was granted a violation of the Order of Protection.

The following Sunday evening the police showed up to take the boys to their father, but when I showed them the Order of Protection they refused to take them saying the OP took precedence over anything else. The next day, my ex’s attorney filed some kind of paperwork saying I was being uncooperative & refusing to follow the courts orders. On my way to work the next day, I received a phone call from the police saying that I would be arrested for contempt of court if I didn’t meet him immediately & turn the boys over to their father. I picked the boys up & met the police officer. My ex & his new wife were there as well. I informed the officer of the OP, which pertained to the children as well & he said it didn’t matter. I then informed him that my ex was driving on a suspended license with no insurance. The officer then verified that my ex’s driver’s license was suspended & that he had no insurance. He wrote him citations for both violations. The officer then told me that my ex’s new wife was going to drive, at which time, I informed him that her license was suspended as well. He gave my ex 15-minutes to find someone to pick them up or else he was going to allow me to take the boys. My ex’s older sister showed up about 10-minutes later to pick them up. The boys ended up staying the entire week with my ex’s sister & her husband, because their father & new step-mother had to work. I wasn’t allowed to see or talk to my own children for 2-weeks. The following week the boys were to start school for the year. I had always taken them to school the first day. However, their new stepmother, Angie refused to allow me to take my kids to school, because it was their father’s week. Needless to say, I met them at the front door of the school! When I got to my middle son’s school the principal asked to speak to me. She informed me that Angie had told them I was not allowed to have any contact with my kids during the weeks they stayed with their father. The principal told me she informed Angie that unless there was a court order stating I was to have no contact with my own children then they were not going to keep me from seeing my own kids. The next day I called Angie & asked her if we could sit down & talk about everything, but she refused saying her attorney told her not to talk to me. Angie then told my attorney that I was calling her cell phone every five minutes to talk to the boys. I informed my attorney that was a blatant lie. The truth was Angie had refused to allow my son to call me, so he had taken her cell phone & climbed a tree just so he could call me & talk to me without her taking the phone away from him. The entire time we were on the phone I could hear Angie in the background yelling, screaming, & cursing at my son. At some point, my ex joined Angie in yelling & screaming at my son.


At the time of our divorce, my ex was never ordered to pay child support, even though his income was more than double mine, since I was going to school part-time & could only work part-time. He has rarely paid for anything pertaining to our children such as school fees, medical bills, dental care, daycare, clothing, shoes, or extracurricular activities. When our children have been sick I’m the one who misses work to take them to the doctor or stay home & care for them. I pay the doctor office co-pay & pay for their prescription medications. A few weeks ago, our 15-year-old son was sick with strep throat & called me around 12 pm, so I drove to my ex-husbands apartment to pick him up & take him to the doctor, because his dad refused to get out of bed.

When my ex was fired from his job for stealing, I gave him money for groceries, gas, etc. I have even paid his rent to keep him from being evicted again & paid his utilities to keep his electricity & heat from being turned off. I admit I did all these things for the sake of our children, but nevertheless, my ex still benefited from it. He has never even thanked me for anything I have done to help him over the years. Instead, he has gone out of his way to make my life a living hell & blames me for everything that is wrong in his life.

Adriana - posted on 12/04/2011

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My ex & I had a pretty tough time in the beginning. He cheated & left the marriage. Our son, Cory, was 3 at the time. Cory will be 8 in Feb. & my ex is still with the woman he cheated with. They just had their 3rd son together. People never seem to understand our relationship, but I'm proud to say that we have built a wonderful family. My ex & his girlfriend, along with myself & my boyfriend are always together for our 4 boys' birthdays, holidays, etc. We take care of each others boys whenever possible & the 4 adults are good friends. I recently lost my best friend of 20 years, and my ex called my boyfriend daily to make sure I was getting through everything OK (He knows me well enough that I'll always say I'm OK, even when I'm not). My ex & I don't have legal visitation arrangements, our work schedules & social commitments prevent us from really being able to set out something consistent. However, we talk almost everyday & have done great scheduling our time. I have to say, the boys are really fortunate to have 4 fantastic parents. I don't know how we managed to get here (considering how bad things were in the beginning) but I wouldn't change it for the world.

Dee-Dee - posted on 08/18/2011

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Well you definately got lucky out of most of us. My ex is fake and acts like we are best friends but only to make his gf jealous. Sad part about all of this he forgets he has a child. He hasn't seen her in almost a year because of his stupidity landing him in jail. Now that he is out the one opportunity he got to see her, he just walked away and chose his gf.So NO I DON"T GET ALONG WITH MY EX!!! Don't really care to because he is unreliable and our daughter will see right through him. She is 3 now but him being a 2nd time felon with no job, he will be right back in prison looking at 5 to 6.

Tarita - posted on 08/14/2011

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It is interesting the dynamics surrounding divorces and the fighting, I'm divorced and remarried someone who also is divorced and the dynamics surround the "ex's" well drives us nuts. I get along great with my ex, we have a son together and our relationship is more like it was when we were first married. My current husband on the other hand - well his ex is obnoxious, controlling, etc. OMG!! I've found with my ex once I forgave him for what he did and we moved past that the communication started and we both want what is best for our son. I wish my current husband's ex would do that for their 3 children. It is so much nicer when there is communication and cooperation in these situations, especially for the children's sake.

Monica - posted on 08/09/2011

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I wish I could get along with my ex.. I tolerate my ex.. He is degrading to me and about me to my children. We have had several issues and unless it goes the way he expects he won't try.. So it is a bummer.. A huge loss that my kids have to suffer and hopefully one day he will realize just what he is doing to his relationship with his children..I was not married to my kids bio father, I am married now to a wonderful man who LOVES and totally provides for us.. On the flip side.. I actually really get along with my husband's ex wife.. She is a great lady..We spent time staying at her house earlier this summer so we could be included in my stepdaughter's senior pictures.. I feel all parties involved getting along is the best thing for the kids.. since I live both sides I definately enjoy the side where there is no stress and tension..

Meghan - posted on 08/03/2011

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I wish I did. My parents got along after their divorce though. Dad could see me whenever he wanted, got along with my mom's boyfriend, she got along with his girlfriend. She didn't have him pay child support either, she figured being a parent was better...plus he did what he could for me without a court having to tell him to do so. As far a divorces go, they set the best example.

I wish divorced couples with children could take a second to realize that it really isn't all about you anymore after you decided to have kids. I wish they could all realize that all the drama and complaining and acting out is really childish and it doesn't help the child stuck in the middle... you made the decision to bring a child into this world, the least that people can do is be civil when it comes to that child...

my ex didn't get that memo... its sad really, my son has noticed how he is and I can't explain or excuse the behavior and its starting to effect him... not fun

[deleted account]

Goodness now I just feel like the bad guy, lol...My ex and I do not get along for the sake of "anything" I do not know If it the tension has just built up for too long-I don't trust him,respect him so I know he feels the same way? I do not know when this will ever get better, but It had gotten so bad with phone screaming matches I just give him two minutes to say what he needs to say in reguards to our child...Sad,but true.

Jaimie - posted on 07/30/2010

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You have a dream situation I would love to get along with my X problem is he does'nt feel the same because I am engaged to someone else. It is sad he does'nt want to get along because we have a son.

Deidre - posted on 07/29/2010

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even though my ex had an affair....i wish for my kids' sake that we could get along. i have 2 boys....they have 4 bday parties between the both of them and i am not aloud at his house at all. sometimes he won't even pull up in my driveway to pick up or drop off....it's crap....would be much easier if we could get along...wishful thinking;0)

Melissa - posted on 07/29/2010

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Me and my ex use to get along. In 2007 was the last time we had birthday party and he came. When he came to the party he brough his new girlfriend (at the time now she is the new wife). But all of the stopped. He told me that it was not good for the kids to see both families together like that. I really did not understand that. We can't even talk any more because he won't answer his phone if she is with him witch is all the time.

Christina - posted on 07/28/2010

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Thank God I thought I was the only one. I have been separated/divorced from my ex since 04 and we make better friends than couple. His fiancée and I even became best friends. He has custody of our two daughters and we're allowed to go over and see them anytime. When his fiancée and I go out shopping people think we're sisters and are shocked to find out our relationship :) Now my younger twos biological sperm donor is another story. When we first broke up I told him let's keep this civil and he simply said shaking my hand it won't be like you and your ex-husband and it hasn't. We've gone through a protective and his violating of it. He hasn't paid child support since the order was passed and hasn't seen our kids in over a year. He didn't even show up to our custody hearing after he contested it. So I know both sides of the coin.

Donna - posted on 07/28/2010

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I do now, took a long time, been seperated for over 9 years. So long as I don't rock the boat, did fight over maintenance for the boys, but since he's had another 3 kids so we get the least, which is not fair but was easier to let go, he sees the boys regularly but only when it suits him, never so I can get a week off, but again don't rock the boat, he does have them at other times, like during holidays, only when he has the other 2 (who are lovely wee kids and they all get along well). But it is frustrating at times, I bought him out and he promised to divorce me but it never happened although he got money from me. One sided, but better to get along for kids sake. Glad you guys get one, it's great for the kids to see.

Rene - posted on 07/27/2010

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Becky,

Hey my name is Becky too! Well the answer to your question is that yes since my ex husband and I divorsed, we do get along a lot better than we did when we were married. When we actually do talk. Although here lately it seems like the more I do for him the worse he gets toward my children. I have been working with him because I know he is struggling through this hard time, with no jobs, and him being out of work a lot. So I actually went agaisnt what our divorce papers said, and let him claim our child so he could get caught up a little on all four of his childrens child support. You see his first ex is greedier than me, and actually won $865,000 lottery, however, that is not enough for her. Well the story is now that I let him claim out child on his taxes in January, I have not heard from him, he wont answer my calls, or call me back. Every time I go to his home he is not there, so tell me how a person without a job stay gone all the time? Why is he being this way toward his children?

Nicole - posted on 07/27/2010

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It is refreshing to hear about two adults agreeing to disagree. Unfortunately it is not the norm, but it is definitely the way that it should be! Keep up the great work, both of you!!

Kelly - posted on 07/25/2010

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My ex husband and i get along great.....as do my boyfriend and his ex wife....we just figure our kids are going thru enough without hear all of us argue....after all they heard it enough when we were with the other parent......

Kaimi - posted on 07/25/2010

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I am separated (one year) right now from my husband. As of last Oct. we have been married for 6 years. I left because he had & has a lot of growing up to do. At first it was really rough because he was hurt and mad and crushed that I left and took the twins with me. We talk on a reg. bases now and 98% of it is fine. Before that I was married for 15 years to the date. We had 3 children (at the time they were 15-13-8) From the beginning we both promised not to fight, argue or talk bad about each other when the kids were around. We didn't always agree but we trusted the others judgement when the kids were with them. We have been able to sit and talk and no scream (even when I wanted to) at eachother. We both knew (now the kids are 25-22-18) that what we did made it much easier for the kids. We still text eachother once and a while just to catch up on life. My hope is that my husband and I can be as good of parents (after our D-Day) as me and my ex are.
mahalo Kaimi

Jaime - posted on 07/21/2010

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My ex husband and I get along better now that we are divorced. His wife and I are good friends. He and I and our spouses got together and decided we werent going to be fighting etc. Matter of fact we bought ajoining properties and that each have a house on them so the kids do not have to feel that they have to choose which parent they want to be with. They have four parents that love them unconditionally. I even babysit his new children and treat them as if they were my own.
I know to alot of people this may seem wierd but if it works it works. the children are alot happier and they dont see fighting and carrying on. They see mom and step dad and dad and step mom getting along raising them and having fun. And yes if they get grounded at dads they are grounded at moms lol. It doesnt work for everyone.

Becky - posted on 07/20/2010

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Jamie-
My ex and I were divorced in in 2006. I met my fiance in 2008 and we were engaged in 2009. They got along right off the bat. I did make a point of leaving them alone in the room a few times to force them to talk. Luckily they are both talkative people.
Good Luck with your husband and ex. I can tell you that your husband is going to have to be the bigger person. As long as he can bite his tongue (unless absolutely needed) they will start to get along.

Jamie - posted on 07/20/2010

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Yes my Ex husband & I get along just fine. More so when my new husband isnt around its less tension. But what i would like to know is how you got your Ex husband to Like your Fiance' ? I guess maybe my situation was just more tense. The kids know that their dad and i get along just fine ... There are times that yes i would like to scream and yell at him but i dont because i know deep down that its not going to do any good.
So how long in between the divorce and you getting engaged.? and How did you get them to like each other :-) ?

[deleted account]

Me and my ex-husband got divorced in jan 2009 when we were together we always fought even around our daughter which wasn't fair to her...Now when we talk it's like were friends except he's remarried to his ex-girlfriend just 5 months after our divorce and shes the jelous paranoid type she doesn't want us talking at all...I keep telling her that were done and over with i put up with his b.s. for 9 years and the main reason y we talk is because we have a 7 year old daughter together...and she just needs to chill...he has been in the army for 9 years and they live in north carolina...me and my daughter live in chicago so he barely sees her my daughter doesn't seem to even care anymore shes glued to my hip has been since the day she was born...so to answer your question i think we get along better when were not a couple...

Roslind - posted on 07/17/2010

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I am recently divorced. I had been legally married for almost twenty years. We tried to reconcile, but it didn't work out. So, we went ahead with the divorce. We are friends, we laugh and chat with each other. I don't have any problem with his girlfriend. Friends and family don't understand it, but that's their problem. The failed marriage was between he and I. Our sons aren't happy with him as a parent, but they have to work that out for themselves.

There is no written law that says that exes should hate one another.

Vanessa - posted on 07/09/2010

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My ex husband and I also have a good relationship regarding our children. What's the point in fighting for the next 20, 30 years anyway? We aren't friends and don't visit each others homes, but when it comes to the children we do whatever is neccessary for the benefit of the children. We are grown ups and live with the decisions we have made. I sometimes think the grownups are the ones who act more like children and throw tantrums, that's why the children also act out!

Jennifer - posted on 07/06/2010

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I was married twice and had one son with each ex. my first ex, we get along very VERY superficially. I know I can't trust him. I know he's "always right". If there is anything in question in the decree he thinks it always goes to benefit him. etcetcetc. But knowing this I ignore a lot of the BS in order to get along with him. He is great as far as using his visitation (we live in different states) and he has kept his job so child support is getting pulled out and is current. When I lived in Texas (where he is) I also invited him and his wife, her son and their little girl to my son's birthday parties and all the events at school and we can basically "play nice".
My second ex and I can have a great friendship but he has not paid child support except a few times (16k behind) and has blown off his son for his girlfriend, who is now exgirlfriend but still he works with her and spends all his time with her. I have been there for him when he's hurting. He has told me things he hasn't told anyone else but the way he treats my son and the lack of respect for me raising our son on my own and him not even bothering to pay child support (even a little) gets in the way because I cannot understand it. Why would you hurt your own child when all that it takes to help is picking up the phone? I have paid for my ex to come up here and visit twice in an attempt to bring them together...both times he left and after about a week he went back to being the same jerk to my son.
So yes, it is very much possible to have a working,even good relationship with your ex and it benefits the child greatly. But in the case of my second ex.....until he helps my son by being a father I can't remain his "friend". It's too much.

Christy - posted on 07/04/2010

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My ex and I get along better now that were divorced. But lately its been rocky. Were still nice to each other but sometimes its hard.

Sarah - posted on 07/01/2010

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I was married 15 yrs, have been divorced for a little over a year and it has been fight after fight. My ex still wants to control every aspect of my life, and as long as I go along with what he wants life is peaceful. I have put up with alot because I don't want the boys in the middle of all this uglyness. I have never stoped him from seeing the boys, he is welcome to see and talk to them but when he does all he wants to know is what I am up to and who I talk to.My family hates him and say I have been tooo nice and I now see they are right.
Maybe when he moves on and finds someone else his attitude will change and then we can be friends for the sake of the kids.

Jaclyn - posted on 07/01/2010

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Well I will say that I do not have a good working relationship with my ex only because his new girlfriend interfer to much.However, my new husband of a yr and half and I get along great with his ex wife and new husband! We come to each other parties, and events. I have two children from my first marriage, and it is sad to say but my step daughters mother, and step father come to more sport events for my children then ther own father! My kids have even stayed the night at the ex wifes house! We have great relationship, and I wish I could have that with the ex for the boys sake. So no not everyone has a bad relationship with the exes!

Sarah - posted on 06/30/2010

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I AM TRYING TO GET ALONG WITH MY EX HUSBAND FOR OUR DAUGHTERS SAKE NOT SURE IF IT IS GOING TO HELP CONSIDERING HE THINKS I WANT HIM BACK

Crystal - posted on 06/30/2010

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Sadly I don't have a good relationship with my ex but after almost two years of being divorced and another of being seperated I get along better with his parents then I did when he and I were married. I keep them up to date on what is going on in the kids lives and everything. they know that if my ex isn't going to pick them up for visitation then they are more then welcome to take them for the time. ( we live in two different states, so this is very important to my kids and them.) While I was married to their son they didn't like me much and even encouraged the divorce when I wanted to try to work it out. Now they regret it. But I tell them not to worry about it. We weren't meant to be together. Just meant to welcome two gorgeous babies into this world! I just have to keep praying that sooner or later my ex and I can come to the same crossroads for the sake of the children. After all they are what is most important. not the petty things we tend to fight about.

Becky - posted on 06/29/2010

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i get along with my soon to be ex we were married two yrs and we have a daughter who is two july 11th and we get along and share her and talk baout her and still do things the same when it comes to our daughter. we just decided we were not ment for each other our fights where hurtin out daughter so we are happier now.
becky powers
workathomeunited.com/footballtracklover09

MANDI - posted on 06/27/2010

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i wish we got along, it seems all he can do is challenge everything i do...sad sad situation

Allisha - posted on 06/26/2010

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I REALLY WISH THAT ME N MY SOON 2 B EX-HUSBAND COULD GET ALONG. WE DID , HOWEVER UNTIL HE GOT A GIRLFRIEND.IM CURRENTLY W/SOMEONE ALSO. I LEFT HIM IN JULY OF 07 AND HE HAS RECENTLY HAD ANOTHER SON. SHE IS NEGATIVE PERSON, SHE WONT LET ME SPEAK W/HIM LIKE IM MARRIED 2 HER, OR HAVE 2 KIDS W/HER.IT REALLY SUCKS 4 MY KIDS. SHE DONT WANT HIM 2 B AROUND ME BUT SHE DONT CARE HOW IT HURTS THEM. THEY R 7&8 YRS OLD AND ITS BEEN ALMOST 2YRS SINCE HE HAS SEEN THEM.

Diana - posted on 06/25/2010

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I have a good friendship with my ex for the most part. There have only been a couple of issues that really were hair raising concerning our kids, but we worked through them all with minimum or no lawyer at all. He absolutely hates my ex, so there are some moments that are tough. It's a mutual feeling, they both do not like each other. I get along for the most part with my husband's ex, we don't have coffee together or anything, but we are courteous, same with my ex's new wife. Maybe it's just me, I get along with most people. My husband and his ex do not get along, wish for their kids sake they would. My husband isn't thrilled about how well I get along with my ex, so sometimes I need to back off on how much I talk to him. My ex once told me, "I may have lost you as a wife, but I don't want to lose you as a friend too" It's crazy how we get along still after what I put him through.
Yup, ME, I am the reason for our divorce, I am happy where I am, but it haunts me every now and then, mostly when I see how it has really hurt my kids. They have adjusted better than expected. Im just so very thankful they love me. Sorry I went off subject.

Olga - posted on 06/24/2010

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I try for the most part to get along. like you said the first year was the hardest. We get along fine. My friends are shocked by the way we are with each other. But its not for us its for the sake of our daughter. I still talk to his family and they invite me to things every now and then. Only problem I have is his gf wants nothing to do with our daughter and he doesn't help out with child support. I don't let $ get in the way like most girls do. I know he needs to help me out but I'm also not going to punish my daughter because her father is not being responsible. If people just are adults about the situations once a relationship is over.. and I think everyone would be able to get along. =)

Elizabeth - posted on 06/22/2010

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sadly no i dont. we go stretches where he cant even be in the same room as me let alone speak to me which i find extremely sad. we share a daughter yet he cant bring himself to share the same breathing space as me.

SanDee - posted on 06/20/2010

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Thank you all for posting! I was beginning to think I was the only one getting along with my ex. Over the last 6 months or so, we have even been rebuilding our friendship. Several of my close family are still really angry at him and think I have absolutely lost my mind. After 15 years together, he left me for someone else in the summer of 2006. I was angry for a few months and then realized that the anger was only hurting me. I think my family needs to get over it already!!! At this point, the past is the past and we are moving forward in this new situation. From day 1, though, we agreed to put our son first. He came to my house to visit with our son, I include him in my son's birthday parties, we would even take my son places together. It was rough emotionally for me at first, but once I got past my own anger, things went much much smoother. There is no drama. He comes to pick up our son at my house and sometimes will just stay at my house with him. Sometimes we will meet places and do things together. I still disagree with him on some things but after all these years, if there's one thing we know about each other is how to compromise or at least agree to disagree.

Heather - posted on 06/12/2010

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I get along with both my kids fathers but prefer to chat with my older son's father
My younger son's father is what I consider useless - does not pay what he is court ordered to pay most of the time ( a mere $17/wk - cannot be bothered to help me buy things he needs - is court ordered to provide medical insurance and cannot be bothered with doing so. He would rather buy electronics and alcohol then provide for his kids - he has 2 others besides mine!!!
My older son's father is more reliable, pays what he is supposed to ($89/wk) and provides the medical coverage he is supposed to. He is also willing to help as far as providing extra things that our son needs/wants

Jessica - posted on 06/11/2010

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well we are not there just yet we do not do things together but we talk only about the kids and he is very controling and as long as i agree with him we do fine. We are trying to get along for the kids because they are the ones that get hurt in the long run and we have realize that. He is a good father to the kids and that is more than I can ask for he is a strict parent and I am the one that is more leaniant(sp) and it works out. He has a girlfriend that the kids consider as their as thier step-mom and she seems to be good to the kids and that is all want for the kids to be happy. I have a boyfriend also and have been together for about five years and he considers the kids as his kids which i am lucky to have they are hard to come by. All about the kids. We all love them.

Tina - posted on 06/10/2010

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no not me he didnt even make it to his son graduation from the army nevermine my other sons events his girlfriend and her girls and his old habits get in the way and my boys worship him why? it me and my mom that do everything 4 my kids but the xx does no wrong i hate it and hate him 4 doing these to my babys they never asked 4 these and they dont react when he has ever excuse under the sun why he cnt be there 4 them it sick and i dont even bother with him !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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