Anyone get along with thier ex?

April - posted on 04/19/2010

yes my ex and i were the same way the first year we split sometimes we have the odd arguement. But all an all we get along i don't talk to him about other things because my ex has an issue telling me what he does with the boys when their with him. But we don't have any custody battles or anything like that. He takes him on his usual time but he is able to take them whenever he likes all he has to do is call to make sure were not busy. I get along with his wife and my kids have a great relationship with their stepmom which is great it was tough at first for my oldest for listening to her but he was the same for me. I find it so much easier to be able to get along with my ex i also hear from people i know the troubles they had with their exes so it's good to know were not alone

Tasha - posted on 04/18/2010

Ummm...guess it's 2 early 4 me....I just had 2 call my lawyer 2 get a restraining order on mine!

Rebecca - posted on 04/18/2010

I try... sometimes we do and sometimes we don't. It seems that when ever I extend that olive branch of friendship it somehow gets snapped. His current wife is the one who broke up our marriage and she does a lot to try and undermine what he and I set up. I have told her she got my husband, she doesn't get my kiddo too. When it is just my ex and I working out something usually it can be done nicely. When he calls back after she put her two cents in - not so pleasant. Oh well, maybe with time...

Kristy - posted on 04/18/2010

I get along very well with my ex. Isn't that what we are supposed to do for the good of our children? When we separated, we did keep our commitment to be great parents to our child.

Deana - posted on 04/18/2010

So many people are in shock that my ex and I are very good friends. We split due to 2 affairs he had. We worked things out after his 1st affair, but after his 2nd, I wanted nothing to do with him. I was VERY angry at him for about the 1st 9 months after we seperated...but, then for the sake of my 2 sons, we became best friends. (if I didn't have children, I would have likely never spoken to him again). He lives in Tennessee and I live in Florida with our 2 boys. His work schedule does not permit him to seeing the boys as much as we'd like, Soooooo, when he comes to town once a month to see them for (usually) 3 days, he stays at our house. He stays in a spare bedroom and will have "slumber parties" with the boys! We all go out to dinner 2gether and play 2 on 2 flag football games 2gether. When people see us out 2gether, they are always so confused...."R U back with your Ex?"....NO, but it is the healthiest thing for our boys to see us get along and they reap ALL the benefits!

Debbie - posted on 04/18/2010

yes...it was same here...was rough for the first year..i even moved out of the state...but now we have become better friends and work together for the kids

Whisper - posted on 04/18/2010

thanks for saying that! I am the step mom in our situation.... i spend more time with my step daughter than her real mom does and i do the majority of stuff with my daughter... sometimes i feel like im just screwed no matter what because im the step mom..

Tammy - posted on 04/18/2010

It is good to hear that I am not the only one who can put my differences aside for the sake of my children. Though my Ex can be a little difficult at times, I have always tried to keep it civil between the two of us. We have been divorced for about 14 years and now have a 16 and 17 year old. I have never denied him contact with our children, even when they were very young. The children should never have to be exposed to so much drama. After all, they did'nt ask to be put in that situation. And I know my boys are so much healthier because of it. Thank you for your post!

Louise - posted on 04/18/2010

yes, i have a good relationship with my ex. We separated in September 1999, although it was tough at first we always put the 3 children first, it wasn't their fault that we couldn't live under the same roof. His family took it hard but after a few occasions that i helped him though some tough times they realised that i wasn't as bad as thay thought.
We have always put the kids first as they as the most important. although we have still had our disagreements it never lasts long, till we put our jobs back in perspective to do whats best for our 3 children. it works best for the children.

Ellen - posted on 04/17/2010

Catreal, it is not only women that cannot let go of anger. My x left me and I did everything I could to maintain at least a friendship with him. However, he is a very angry person and he blames me for everything even tho he is the one that left for another woman. I have tried to co-parent with him but he refuses to cooperate. I don't know why I expected him to be any different after he left because he wasn't very nice the whole 20 years we were together.

Jen - posted on 04/17/2010

I think one of the most important statements the comments have said is something that many people don't understand.....acknowledging that maybe your ex isn't for you but they are important to the children. It's Ok not to want to be with your ex but it's important to see that they have qualities that maybe don't fit your image but doesn't make them bad people. My ex is a good man and a good father, just not the man for me to be married to.

Jen - posted on 04/17/2010

I have a great relationship with my exhusband - Larry. We initially had issues but then realized those were our issues and our daughter Chelsea should be our focus. I has not been perfect all the time but we get along well. My son Kyle, whose dad is my current (and forever) husband calls Larry, Uncle Larry. Larry has always allowed Kyle to visit with Chelsea and has treated Kyle as his own. Kyle would say Larry is one of his favorite people. We now live 1200 miles apart but during visits of family members it works for the children for us to stay at each others homes. We have shared many holidays and special occassions (e.g. honor rolls, student of the month, etc...). This has made it so our kids don't have to "choose" who to have holidays with or feel shuttled back and forth. We've been doing this for 16 years - Chelsea just turned 18 - but a word of warning though, be open with your child(ren) that this committment is necessary and you do it because you both love the kids BUT does have it's struggles. When you have a disagreement and come to a resolution, let your kids know you had to work it out. Sometimes I think my children perceive that divorce is "easy" or we have taken away some of the negative stigma of divorce (that should be there to keep their own future marriages sacred). Glad to hear you found a way to get along as there are more ugly stories than great ones like ours.

Elizabeth - posted on 04/16/2010

yep!!! but his wife hates me and i have zero respect for her. shes not raising my son, my x and i are.

Alison - posted on 04/16/2010

In beginning we would fight now that it been almost two years that we communicate much better.

Danielle - posted on 04/15/2010

yeah i wish someone would tell my ex that and his girl friend he is missing out on so much because he puts her first before our kids we still not divorced and wont til he agrees we need shared parenting not his way . my kids dont even want to around him anymore his mother is so involved with them and she sees what he is missing and just shakes her head. i am tired and want to move on but it is hard to do that when we cant agreee and wasting lawyers time and money by not agreeing i guess i should open my big mouth about other things i know but dont want to because i want him in their lives.

Heather - posted on 04/14/2010

Your situation sounds just like mine....it is possible to come back from the fighting etc and establish a different type of relationship with your ex. The kids are more relaxed...and you always have someone to fall back on when you need advice about them....or even just a babysitter. I also think it's wonderful for the kids to see that a relationship can change and it's ok.

Darlene - posted on 04/14/2010

My ex & I have six daughters,(2) still live @ home, ages (10) & (16). We have been divorced for 2 yrs.now, recently moved back in together,just as friends.He is a great dad, friend, as well as ex-husband. We get along wonderful.

Jacqueline - posted on 04/14/2010

I am glad to have stopped here and read all these wonderful posts... Who said things have to suck when you find yourself in splitzville... I do not have an EX persay but I am the new wife (well not so new 10yrs)... I can't say that I go shopping with his ex but I am all up for her comming to any gatherings we have or even comming in and talking for a bit... I know that he speeks to her on a regular basis and thats cool... I started picking up thier child early on and made her speek to me... I wore a smile and killed her with kindness... I don't think things have to be impossible in this situation... Now I find myself as the go between when the EX'z disagree... It is what you make of it and if you like to live in misery you know who will be your company... Congratulations on breaking the sour EX-Factor... 2 Thumbs up Ladies....

Christine - posted on 04/14/2010

I actually get along great with my ex and his new wife. She is the best stepmom I could ever ask for. My daughter loves her and it makes me happy to that they have such a good relationship. I have always said that my ex is a good person, he just wasn't good for me. :-)

Catreal - posted on 04/14/2010

Yes I do,my ex comes to my house and see's the kids when he can.I drop the kids off to him,I pick up my ex to take him with me to go and vist my step daughter,his daughter.We have our fights but we work it out for our kids!! I help my ex whenever I can and my new husband gets along with my ex also.It is all about choces we choose to make.I choose not to be bitter and angery at my ex,he did some really bad things to me,but that is in the past and that is not my kids fault what he did. I don't want my kids to pay for our mistakes. So many women cannot get over the anger,they let it rule them.And all they are doing is hurting their kids.

Becky - posted on 04/14/2010

thank you all for not making me feel alone. Your comments are great.

April - posted on 04/13/2010

Hello. My ex and I get along well about 75% of the time. We have birthday parties together and go to the same synagogue. We will never be as chummy as you all seem to be as he is still with the women he cheated with, which broke up our marriage. I am not interested in being her friend. It's been 5 years and I doubt that will change. Oh well

Jane - posted on 04/13/2010

Hey Becky....you could not have posted this at a better time cuz' honestly, I was wondering the same thing. Yes, my ex and I get along very well. Our first couple of years were tense (it was me that wanted out of the marriage) but the one thing we did was commit to our children even though we were fighting a LOT after we first split. We never fought in front of the kids, etc. Now, 13 years later...or should I say for at least the last 10 years, we get along great. He calls me for advice on things, I ask him for advice on things. He and my husband get along very well...sometimes too well...it's kinda spooky (LOL), he comes to the kids birthday parties that are at my house and he even has spent the last 3 Thanksgiving's with us at my house where the first year included HIS brother and HIS friend from out of town. I didn't love him anymore but he's a good man and a great father and it has made for very happy kids who are now 20 and 16 and extremely well adjusted, smart and amazingly talented and great.

Divorce does NOT have to be miserable if everyone puts the children first.

Michelle - posted on 04/13/2010

i was married to my ex for 13 yrs and we get along better know than we did when we where married we have been divorced since 03. when i first started dating he would come for easter,christmas and all major holidays and stay for the day. we still do things all together with my youngest child me,my boyfriend,my ex and his girlfriend. picnics,day trips ect. everybody gets along really well. we also do our christmas shopping together as well. so yes there are some of us that are friends with our ex's hun. lol.