Anyone remarried...and good friends with their ex?

Rita - posted on 01/17/2009

I always say that I am grateful to my ex-husband .He did me the greatest favor of letting me go... For this I am willing to struggle with him, and the same passive aggressive behavior I left him for, in dealing with our kids and shared responsibilities. My current husband struggles with my ex's apathy but doesn't have the years of observing this behavior that I do. My current husband is an intense father my ex a passive one. My girls have come to this realization on their own and continue to build their relationship with their step dad as their father becomes less and less ... important. Its sad to watch but like most things in life its my ex's choice and his behavior.

Gwen - posted on 01/16/2009

I wish I could talk to my ex period!  I am apparently STILL the devil incarnate and he flat refuses to even return emails or text messages.  I honestly have to give you kudos for being able to get past all that old nasty stuff.  And I bet your DD is adjusting very, very well to a new step dad in part because of the good relationship you have!

I agree that your hubby is feeling threatened by what he sees as another man in your life.  Problem is that that 'other man' will be in your DD's life and therefore YOURS for a very, very long time.

Let hubby know that you have a working business relationship with your ex.  You get along with him because, for your DD's sake, you HAVE too.  Look at all the kids in counseling, struggling with relationships, and just unhappy because the two people THEY love most in the world hate each other!  My DS is STILL having emotional problems and I've been divorced for 6 years; all because he's stuc in the middle.  Keep doing what you are doing- your DD's emotional health is way more important than hubby's.

Mary - posted on 01/15/2009

I only wish I could talk with my ex without fighting so your new husband should be happy that ya'll are able to communicate and work things our for your daughter.  The guy I am seeing gets along well with his ex-  for the children and their  situation seems to be so much easier than mine.  It would probably be easier if your new husband had been through this himself.

Kindra - posted on 01/15/2009

I have gone through this same situation and it sucks!!! I basically explained to my current husband that the most important thing was my son's happiness and if I take away his dad because he is not in a good financial situation what kind of mom would I be? My ex does what he can and that is all that matters. The problem is the step dad is there more than the real dad and has to play a back seat when the real dad is around and they get there feelings hurt because they do love there step children and men use anger sometimes instead of telling us they don't want to share that love of the child. Good Luck

Jennifer - posted on 01/14/2009

I'm not remarried yet but will be soon.  I have managed to stay friends with my ex but "good friends" might be a stretch.  My boyfriend doesn't mind that I have a good relationship with my ex but my boyfriend is also divorced with kids of his own.  He sees that it's best for the kids.  Your husband just feels a little threatened by your relationship with your ex.  Make sure he understands that your relationship with your ex revolves around your daughter and nothing else.  Try thinking of your relationship with your ex as if he were a co-worker rather than someone you were once intimately close to.  In other words, treat your relationship in a strickly professional manner.