dad isn't complying with me for 6 months now!!

Brandy - posted on 12/11/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

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I unfortunately do not have custody of my kids right now. it has been 6 months since my ex husband has let me and my children be together. he will not give me a number to contact the kids and when i get one, he either will not answer, the new girlfriend answers and is totally rude or he will answer long enough to know it's me and then changes the number. this has happened too many times to count!!!! i know where he moved to because of the FOC but still no cooperation. i miss my kids and i dont know how to fix this. slowly working with certain people but no results yet. it's the holidays and i want to see them!! :(

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Hollie - posted on 01/17/2012

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This happened but to my dh in this sense. He tried and tried to call his own children, she would only answer on nights it was convienent for her.

I hope you get to see your children, I know this is old. But any updates

Ashlee - posted on 01/17/2012

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Whenever you go back to court have it put in the order that pick up and drop offs will occur at the police station. Then if he doesn't bring the children you can go in and have it logged that he didn't show up. They won't go find him and make him give you the kids, but you will at least have solid documentation that he isn't complying. Then he can be held in contempt of court.

Samara - posted on 01/26/2010

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I don't know where you live, but where I live as I stated before they can and would have if my ex had his paperwork with him. I guess every state is different.

Heather - posted on 01/24/2010

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I'm sorry but I have to disagree- I work in law enforcement and have specifically dealt with child custody issues. They will not force the children to go- they can encourage strongly, restate the orders (a visitation schedule or even parenting plan is part of the custody order package), and then direct the parent filing the complaint to speak with the D.A. for remedial contempt of court charges. It is considered a civil matter and is dealt with in Family Court. I have never heard of a law enforcement officer forcibly removing a juvenile from a home and forcing them to go with another parent per the visitation schedule. They cannot do so without permission from the court called "An Order of Assistance". Everything mentioned can take weeks to months to be enforced, if granted at all.

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Niki - posted on 01/21/2012

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Fathers and Mothers both have done this, its alienating that child from their other parent and is wrong. Get an attrny and fight this.

Lori - posted on 01/18/2012

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Court honey court! Put it on paper. Folks like him will fight you. Its rare that a father keeps his children from their mother. But the courts favor being with the mother. What ever his issue is, have the court system put it in writing when and where. That will put the ball in his court. Maybe he fells you wont fight for them. If money is an issue. Get an advocate for the kids. Here in Cincinnati we have a program call 241-kids. Find what is in your city. Call the attorney line to get advise, but dont give up on being with your children. They needs you just like you need them. Fight on Mom! Dont give up ! This is just a test! You got this, not go get them! :-)

Samara - posted on 01/24/2010

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i am not talking about a custody order, I am talking about her visitation rights. Where I live, the police do get involved, I know this first hand. One afternoon, my daughter didn't want to go with her father, she's 6, and we told him the night before. My son did want to go. Instaed of my ex saying ok honey see you saturday, he called the police. Not only did one car come to my house, but 2. (my neighbors must've loved the drama, new people on the block) anyway, to make a long story short, the only reason my daughter didn't have to go with her father that day was because, HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY PROOF THAT IT WAS HIS DAY FOR VISITATION. If he had had the paperwork, the police would have sided with him and made my daughter go. So, as I said before:
on the days that you are suppossed to see them, bring your paperwork to the local police department where your ex husband lives and tell them you are suppossed to have visiting with your children and your ex isnt allowing you to see them.

Heather - posted on 01/22/2010

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The police cannot enforce a custody order. They can do something called a "Keep the Peace" where they can stand by to maintain order and reiterate what the CO says but they generally do not like to get involved in "civil/family issues". If you have a custody order that specifically outlines custody and/or vistation then you need to file with the DA or family courts as your ex is in contempt. If no such order exists then you will need to sue for custody.
Do document everything. And keep calling your kids even if your ex is refusing to let you speak to them directly.

Samara - posted on 01/22/2010

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on the days that you are suppossed to see them, bring your paperwork to the local police department where your ex husband lives and tell them you are suppossed to have visiting with your children and your ex isnt allowing you to see them. Ask them to escort you to pick up your children because you are afraid of what he will do. Also, go to family court and make a complaint.

Amanda - posted on 01/20/2010

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Hey Brandy I am so sorry for your situation it sounds awful. But Jeanette is correct you have to be paitent with this, yes it is totally unfair on your kids and you, but there is a system to this whole nasty mess and it has to be followed. My ex walked out on my my daughter when she was three months old, she is now three. I havent received child support from him and I am still waiting, but because he moved back to Illinois after he left its going to take much longer, but I know if I'm paitent with it, it will come. Besides Brandy you get him into a court room with all the rules he has broken on your divorce and custody agreement it will not look good for him. Good luck Brandy my heart goes out to you.

Amanda - posted on 01/20/2010

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Hey Brandy I am so sorry for your situation it sounds awful. But Jeanette is correct you have to be paitent with this, yes it is totally unfair on your kids and you, but there is a system to this whole nasty mess and it has to be followed. My ex walked out on my my daughter when she was three months old, she is now three. I havent received child support from him and I am still waiting, but because he moved back to Illinois after he left its going to take much longer, but I know if I'm paitent with it, it will come. Besides Brandy you get him into a court room with all the rules he has broken on your divorce and custody agreement it will not look good for him. Good luck Brandy my heart goes out to you.

Michelle - posted on 12/17/2009

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I know how you feel and Im dealing with my ex and his control freak of a wife over similar situations...I share full legal joint custody with my ex and get treated like Im toxic...I would suggest getting a GAL or Mediator if you share joint custody...he is clearly in contempt....Contact the state bar for lawyers who do pro bono work and good luck...Its a struggle Ill tell ya...been dealing with this for 5 years now

Brandy - posted on 12/15/2009

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Quoting Jeanette:

I am so sorry to hear this. It sounds heartbreaking. It seems like a situation that you will have to go through the courts to resolve. It may be a slow process but I don't know any other way to get to see them w/out getting yourself in trouble. Is their an order in your divorce decree that establishes your visitation? Best wishes to you.


thank you for the concern...there is an order but again, he isn't complying..im supposed to see them every other weekend and every other wednesday but he has moved a lot and now is in hudsonville. i have tried filing complaints with the courts and they just send them back saying they are invalid so i now am talking to someone who is going to try to help me with motions and other paperwork so hopefully something will come of it....thank you again for the message. i really don't have a lot of people to talk to that's why i joined this circle of moms thingy....:)

[deleted account]

I am so sorry to hear this. It sounds heartbreaking. It seems like a situation that you will have to go through the courts to resolve. It may be a slow process but I don't know any other way to get to see them w/out getting yourself in trouble. Is their an order in your divorce decree that establishes your visitation? Best wishes to you.

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