[deleted account] ( 10 moms have responded )
I seperated from my now ex-husband in 2005. My daughters were then 7. Over the last 4 and a half years he has not been great at seeing them on a regular basis. It has been intermittent. When we first seperated I said that there would never be a problem with him seeing them whenever he wanted, but I didn't realise that he would not want to see them very much. Eventually we agreed he would see them every other weekend, but even this was intermittent. It depended on what else he had to do. I was of the opinion that if he only sees them every other weekend then those weekends he should not make plans to do anything else!
Anyway we are not 4 years on and gradually as they have got older they have stated that they do not want to go. He is of the opinion that they should be made to go regardless as when he was a child he didn't get to make decisions and he had to do as he was told. I am torn. I have never wanted to stop him seeing them, but I feel that he hasn't really offered them the time and attention that he should of and now they are not bothered about spending time with him. They say that they get bored at his. They stay up late watching films that they have no interest in, e.g. Shawshank Redemption and Green Mile. In the morning he doesn't get up till midday or even later and they would just rather stay home.
At what age is it OK for kids to make the decision about seeing the absent parent or not?