ex husband being abusive

Sarah - posted on 04/06/2010 ( 13 moms have responded )

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i have a 8 month old and from day 1 of the pregnancy my ex husband denied my daughter then hit and kicked me when i was 7 1/2 months pregnant is it wrong that i want to have soul costody over my daughter to keep the abuse away from her?

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13 Comments

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Redbear - posted on 11/28/2012

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If this is documented, you can apply to the court for a protective order subject to a ruling for sole custody.

Chrisdee - posted on 07/23/2012

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Sarah,

Abuse should never be overlooked. As a mother, you are responsible for the mental and physical health and safety of your child. Your ex's behavior is not a normal response to stress or frustration and placed both your and your child's health at risk. He can not change unless he wants to and seeks help.

Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. I know that your choice to pursue sole custody is based on your desire to ensure a safe and healthy environment for your daughter and that is not wrong.

Elisha - posted on 07/10/2012

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If you have proof of the physical abuse, you shouldn't have any real problem getting sole custody, maybe even supervised visitation, and if you still fear for your safety, maybe even a restraining order.

Ellen - posted on 04/17/2010

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Good. You should have sole custody. I don't think he should be allowed joint custody if he abused you while you were pregnant.

Sarah - posted on 04/17/2010

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the state of indiana will not allow us to have joint because we can not get along with each other

Valerie - posted on 04/15/2010

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no it is not...it is imperative you work with a counselor to have the guidance and documentation should that become necessary...if the abuse is not on file with law enforcement it problaby wont hold up in court for sole custody. get ito counseling to learn good boundaries and how to navigate joint custody and go for primary physical placement...it is in everyones best interests to work on themselves and this relationship as you will probably coparent in some fashion for eighteen years. Working hard now will serve all of you and be much easier to learn now...all the best

Sarah - posted on 04/14/2010

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i can get court documents that say i was 7 1/2 months pregnant with her when he hit an kicked me and i have several witnesses that can testify saying that it happend

April - posted on 04/12/2010

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it is so not wrong for u wanting to protect ur child from her abusive father, i'm getting full custody of my youngest and his dad couldn't stop dealing drugs out of our house or stop being a complete idiot so i kicked him out. i hope u have lots of support to it helps to have that like family and friends to look out for u good luck

Ellen - posted on 04/12/2010

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Judges are more likely to grant sole custody in cases of physical abuse. Do you have proof that your ex abused you while you were pregnant? Your ex will still be granted some sort of visitation, however, even if it is supervised visitation. In any event, you must protect your daughter. Go for sole custody.

Valerie - posted on 04/11/2010

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no but a court may not allow that...state your case and accept the outcome because that is the only legal choice you have...most judges grant joint custody with one parent having primary physical custody...all the best

Sarah - posted on 04/08/2010

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thanx that makes me feel so much better i do have a great guy in my life who loves me and my daughter and treats me great he has never hit me or hurt me in any way at all

Steffanie - posted on 04/08/2010

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You are doing the right thing by keeping your abusive ex husband away from you and your baby. I went through a similiar situation, and even after I left him, he still abused me sometimes in front of my children. My oldest son has many issues with this because he was old enough to remember it. Because of this, my older son now lives with my parents, because that is were I would go to keep myself and him safe. When i remarried and moved to another city, he decided to stay. It is sad, because he is now 16 and he never wants to leave my parents house. One time I asked him why and he told me because this is were I always felt safe. My ex abandoned him also, and he is still scarred from that. I regret not moving far away from him, and not giving him any way to contact me or my boys. It would have been better for my kids. He isn't abusive anymore, but he still doesn't help out as he should. It is sad because my oldest hates him, and is waiting for the day he can get back at him for all the pain his father inflicted on him.



You don't want your daughter to go through that. I think it took a lot of courage for you to leave your abuser, and it shows your maturity and strength. Don't ever second guess that your not doing the right thing. You might want to consider getting counseling, and this helps you to understand why you were attracted to someone like that, and help to ensure your next relationship is a healty one. One day you will meet someone that will love you and your daughter the way you deserve. I am sorry for what you suffered, and I know what it is like to be abused when you were preganant. I still hate my abuser and once he wanted to be in the boys life again, I had to take anitdeprssiants to control my anger towards him. Your not alone, and I wish you and your daughter all the best.

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