Ex Husband doesn't want my son in my wedding!

Danielle - posted on 06/29/2010

My ex husband remarried 6 years ago and I would have been pissed off if my son were NOT part of his wedding...
You could try to discuss it with the ex and explain to him your son is part of your life therefore he will be part of every aspect of your life... just make sure it is on your time with your son... and he can't stop him from being there....

Rebecca - posted on 06/28/2010

If you have your son and it is your time by way of order of the court there really isn't anything your ex can do. Your time=your way. Kids calling anyone else mom or dad is a hard one to take and can cause a lot of hurt feelings and jealousy. You need to sit down with your ex and ask him to explain why your son shouldn't be in the wedding. Then you can discuss it and move forward. Dont cave though if it is important to you.

Sara - posted on 06/27/2010

Court time! That what they are there for. Hit up Family Court and any judge that's been on the bench for more then 15 minutes shouldn't have a problem ordering your ex to stop being a jealous donkey and not to hinder your plans.

Jennifer - posted on 06/26/2010

Thank you guys for all your help!! Makes me feel better about standing my ground! His only reason for not wanting this is jealousy. He has told me this. I have asked him to give me a more legit reason. He can't come up with one.

Erin - posted on 06/25/2010

Nick is your son, too! Whether your ex likes it or not your finacee will legally be your son's stepdad. Say something like, "I'm sorry you feel like our son shouldn't be a part of my wedding, I understand that it may seem a little weird for you. I would appreciate it if you would set your feelings aside and realize that Lance will be a part of Nick's life for a long time. Please recognize that Lance treats Nick very well, and I would hate for Nick to grow up and resent you for not allowing him to be a part of this special day." Good luck!!

Diana - posted on 06/25/2010

It's sad when adults can't keep their emotions separate from affecting their kids. He needs to know and realize he is not the only one who feels this way in life, but he has to suck it up and let the kids enjoy this time with you. I too have had similar issues, had pow wow with my EX over the phone (long distance). In the end after standing my ground, it has worked out. Maybe he needs to just vent and get it out of his system, then realize he needs to do the right thing and that's letting the kids have their separate lives with each parent. Im not happy about my daughter HAVING to call her stepmom "mom", for reasons that I feel are totally bogus, but I voiced my opinion on it, and well that battle I did not win. So I have to let it go, I don't need my daughter to feel bad about something she has no control over at this time while she is young (10). She loves us both as Im sure your son does too. It's horrible making this tougher for the kids than it already is. Divorce is no fun, putting this kind of burden on the kids just makes it tougher. Sounds like your EX hasn't moved on yet. Stick to your guns. I nearly had to get lawyers involved which is ugly all around. Luckily in the end, my EX came to his senses and my son (16) was able to be with me to participate in our event. (My husband's military retirement ceremony) My ex HATES my husband, but my kids dont and that is all that matters to me. I am not FORCING my kids to attend family events with me. I am fortunate to have great kids who get along with all of us. Step parents on both sides. Good Luck with this. It's a diplomatic and sticky situation. My approach was to KILL HIM with KINDNESS. How old is your son? My son is intimidated by his dad, even as a teenager, I had to know he REALLY wanted to do this, so I had to go up to bat for him. Which wasn't easy trust me.

Helen - posted on 06/18/2010

It does sound like a touch of jelousy to me, but I wouldnt be real
happy if I heard my kids call my ex's girlfriend mummy anything.

Kristie - posted on 06/18/2010

I just went through this... I just told my ex that my kids were going to be part of their mothers special day and he cant take that away from me or them. The kids deserve to participate in the ceremony of expanding their family tree. Explain to him that you do not plan to replace him as the kids father, and your child will be able to have two loving families in his life. When your ex decides to move on the family for your child will grow even more... It is good for the kids to know that all the adults in their life love them and accept them into their lives, and besides your fiance will be his step father.

We did a sand ceremony combining our two families into one blended family (my husband & his 2 kids, and me and my 2 kids). He cant not let you have your child in your wedding... .my opinion ~

Amy - posted on 06/18/2010

Does he give you a reason? If not find out what the reason is. Not sure how old your son is but obviously old enough to participate. Explain that it will help you son feel a part of your special day. As your fiance will be a part of his life. You might also suggest that if and when your ex might get remarried you would not object to him be a part of his ceremony.

Krys - posted on 06/16/2010

wow i dont know ..has the ex give reason as to why? he doesnt want your son in your wedding . I am going through something similair but, my ex just didnt want my son invovled bc the wedding was taking place in california and currently we are in Georgia. i think i would sit down with my ex and point blank ask him, I dont allow my son to call my fiance dad or daddy but to each their own...but i think i would ask the ex wht he was thinking, mayb he can clarify, but i doint think he can stop you from involving your son in the wedding eitheir as long as its not in another state i wouldnt think.