Extracurricular activities on dad's weekend

Amanda - posted on 08/03/2012

I'm going thru the same thing. Gonna have to check my paperwork but I doubt if anything is in there about this.

F - posted on 07/03/2012

Michelle M--we're still under a temporary arrangement, but I'll definitely consider putting things like this in for the permanent arrangement.

Michelle S--I do have alternate weekends, but lessons every other week would seriously slow any progress the kids could make.

Julie--you're bang on. He had basically checked out of parenting the kids when we were still living under the same roof, but now, he suddenly wants to be their dad. Unfortunately, he's the dad that won't say "no" to them (compensating for lost time?), so that leaves me to be the bad guy and the disciplinarian much of the time. And, when he returns the kids to me from his alternate weekends, they're suffering from various degrees of sleep deprivation. I can plan no major activities for the day after during summer vacation because they're exhausted. It was bad during school time too. No young child should have dark circles under their eyes or not be able to stand up on their own because of sleep deprivation. But, their dad just says that it's not his fault, or it was a special weekend, or there was nothing he could do about it...

What really gets me mad is that he agreed that my son could have a weekly job this summer, but he won't let him do it during his time with the kids. (I'm talking about his full-time summer vacation weeks, not his weekends).

Julie - posted on 07/03/2012

i'm with you on this one. he wants to be a father well part of that is the music lessons if you were still together it wouldnt be an issue so why is it now. it gets me that dads want to spend all the time with their kids AFTER the divorce but you can guarentee they wouldnt be spending that amount of time with them if you all hadnt diveorced.

Michelle - posted on 06/26/2012

If the kids enjoy going get them to ask their father to take them and if the ex says no to them nothing else you can do except have lessons on your weekends as you should have some weekends too.

Michelle - posted on 06/25/2012

I have been going through this for the last 10 years with my ex, unfortunately unless it clearly states in your custody and visitation agreement that he has to take them to their activities he doesn't have to. My ex is now just finally coming around as I have had my son basically tell him that I am not forcing him to do this activity that he loves it and wants to continue. But he still is not very flexible on his time.