how do i talk to my daughter about her dad and i not being togeather anymore?

Tiffany - posted on 01/05/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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How should i talk to my daughter about her father and i not living together any more???

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Clare - posted on 01/08/2010

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My daughter (aged 15, her father and I separated when she was nearly 3) says "you really need to re-assure her that it's not her fault and that you both still love her even though you don't love each other any more" Also "try and ensure that you and your ex (individually) spend as much time as possible with her" - I know that depends on your ex and is out of your control to a greater extent but that's another story!
If you know other people who don't live with their dads I found it helpful to mention them so that she knows she not the only one in that situation. Also I found some books which have single parents in - not the main point of the story.

Desire - posted on 01/08/2010

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My girl was 4 and my boy 5 when I got divorced. I took them to a psychologist to explaine everything. She told them that the relationship between "mommy" and "daddy" was like a plant. The plant was well looked after in the beginning and had two flowers.. boy and girl. But then it wasn't taken care off and it started to die because no one watered and looked after it. My children excepted this explanation and was fine afterwards. It's now 7 years and they are doing great.

Deanna - posted on 01/06/2010

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I think Meryet had a great way of explaining it. Make sure you let your daughter know that you both love her very much, and always will, and that it is not her fault in any way. It is amazing how kids will get that idea in their head when it's the furthest thing from the truth.

Meryet - posted on 01/05/2010

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I see your daughter is 5 (& adorable btw ;-) She's about the same age my daughter was when her dad & I split so I'll take a stab at this one.



Basically, I found that the easiest way for me to tell my little girl was just being as painfully honest as I could be. In a way she could understand of course, I sat her down one day & told her that mommy & daddy were going to be living in different houses because we couldn't get along very nicely anymore. She was understanding. My ex & I get along great now that we're divorced so that certainly didn't hurt anything. We gave her & her brother lots of extra special attention before/during/after the divorce so neither feel the strain as much on them.



Kind of vague :( I hope it gives you some ideas anyway..best of luck to you!!

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