How do you deal with a dad who doesn't pay child support? he is not working I work part time mostly when the girls are in school but there are times when I need to pay for childcare because he refuses to have the extra time with them even though he sitting at home doing nothing.

Erika - posted on 10/31/2011

January-see if you can get free or reduced legal representation from your State's Atty (or other local city/county gov't agency). Go to court and try to modify visitation. I assume you have a court order for visitation AND support?

Teresa - posted on 10/30/2011

January, you'd better check the law in your state. In MOST (if not all) places.... w/holding access to the kids can get you in a world of trouble. Child support and visitations are NOT connected in those places. Even if they are.... two wrongs don't make a right and when he DOES make the effort... it's not fair to the girls to deny them that relationship.

I KNOW it sucks, but don't stoop to his level.

Jennifer - posted on 10/30/2011

Please be careful in denying dad access. In the state I live in visitation and support are two separate issues. I can't deny my ex visitation based on no support and my ex is 10 yrs behind. Just check and make sure you won't be in contempt of court.

January - posted on 10/30/2011

Thanks ladies. I have started by refusing him his access days and contact with the girls. I know it sounds cruel and mean but so is what he is doing to his own children. Don't get me wrong if the girls ask to call their dad i will allow it but until he starts doing his fair share I won't be letting them off with him. He only lives t3n minutes away so there is no excuse why he couldn't spend more time with him the reason behind it all is he just can't be bothered, it's just too much hassle for him to have to enetertain the girls :(

Teresa - posted on 10/29/2011

You can't control what he does. That would be the reason, unfortunately, that I am still on welfare. My ex refuses to pay child support (owes the state well over $25,000 right now). I make enough from my job to support MYSELF, but not enough for me AND the 3 kids. No such thing as having him for childcare cuz he lives where he has to fly to get them and only sees them 2-3 times/year.

I get it. It sucks. Wish I had the answer, but I'm completely maxed out as it is. Of course, there's no talking to HIM about it cuz his solution is to let him have the kids 100%. Um... yeah, cuz you can't even afford to come and SEE them... how the heck are you going to pay to RAISE them? @@

Jamie - posted on 10/27/2011

Unfortunately there is not much you can do other than take him to court. But more than likely all that they will tell the father is that he needs to get a job. Not something he hasn't heard before. Go through ORS and make him aware that back support is piling up and he's better off paying starting now rather than putting it off and having to pay longer down the line. Good luck. I'm sorry.