How to get the ex and his wife see that my mother role is seperate from the step mom role???

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Alisha - posted on 06/11/2012

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I really don't see how the step mom has a different "role" I see that the mother has more custody so she is more involved directly with school, dr. appt, hair cuts, ect. But as far as the caring, nurturing, loving ect that is just as much the step mom's role. I am a step mom (as you can see) BUT my children also have a step mom, and I am about to have another baby with my current husband. Your children KNOW who their mom is, they love you, and there is nothing a step mom can do about that. Don't let another women make you feel insecure in your kids love, let them love their step mom, and when they are grown they will respect you more for it :) of course this does not apply to a step mom who is going to harm the child than that can become a issue but as my role as a step mom and mom, I am going to treat my step son the same as I treat my children and to my children I am mom. If I did it any other way he would grow up feeling like an outsider of our family and he is part of it not just a visitor. I hope I could be encouraging no women can replace you as a mom.

Jen - posted on 05/22/2012

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Can you explain what you think should be solely your responsibility and not hers? If she helps him parent she's a parent too like it or not. I would think if you remarried you would want your new husband to receive the same courtesy. Teamwork, not which side can spoil the kid more!

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