How two discipline a two year old?
Christine - posted on 12/29/2009
Time out is a good way to go but be sure that once time out is over that they understand what it was for in the first place.
What I would do with my kids was set them on the time out chair with the timer sitting next to them, but I wouldn't start it until they calmed down and sat there. Then when the buzzer would go off I would get down on their level and ask them ' why did momma put you in time out' and we would talk about what caused them to be in trouble if they didn't understand. At the same time it showed them that once the timer went off and we discussed what had happened the issue was dropped and not brought back up. Some children are more stubborn than others as my daughter was but the only strength you have is to hold your ground no matter how bad your heart feels. With that though your also teaching them about respect for self as well as others. As my children have gotten older we have changed the punishments for my son to calisthenics and for my daughter we take everything from her room but her pillow, blanket and what ever book we choose greater than 700 pages for her to read and write a complete report on. She gets no time with her brother except for dinner time and that she is required to spend in silence while we have our conversation over dinner, unless she is willing to stand up at the dinner table and explain what she was in trouble for, why she did it, what should she have done, how does she plan to handle similar situations in the future and give a full verbal and written apology to whom ever else was involved. The first it took her 9 days to finally give and now if it happens more than once a year something is wrong. You just have to find what your comfortable with and work from there. it does get easier, but only if you start now.
Marie - posted on 12/26/2009
I learned early in my career that there are 3 people you should never argue with: anbody who is angry, intoxicated or under the age of 2 LOL!
You must decide what the rule is, and be consistent when you apply it. EVERY time you cave-in to screaming or a tantrum, you lose not only that battle, but likely the next two as well. It's Ok to say, "NO" and stand back or gently put the child in a quiet place to calm down. It's even Ok to do this in a public place. Be firm, gentle, consistent and loving as you teach your toddler self-discipline, and you can both develop a stronger relationship! (Check out the parents of teen advice, too. It's scary how similar toddlers and teens can be!) Good Luck!
Mary - posted on 12/18/2009
I concur....I've been thru 3 two year olds (my kids are now 9, 6, and 4)....my youngest still doesn't like being told no and I swear to you it's a test lol...he's testing you and giving in = he learns that so long as he keeps it up he'll win. It's difficult for you to go thru as a mom but remember he is learning by doing this too...he's learning facts of life, that not everything is his and he can't have everything he wants as well as managing disappointment, frustration, and anger emotions...Important lessons. Do try to remain calm, If you lose your head...he will too (further lol) and that only turns into a screaming and crying match, Validate his feelings as soon as he's calm enough to listen even though he may not fully understand what you say, it'll eventually click..."I know it upsets you to not be able to get/have (insert item here)...but that happens and screaming will only get you put in a time out" or something along those lines, Have a consequence for his actions...I went with the chill out time too...it will allow him to calm down (and you too) I told my kids to sit in a chair, or on the bed and think about why they're crying (and they did get up 500 times, but still calmed down)...Go down to his level (literally) squat down and try to establish eye contact and simply and calmly tell him "I can not talk to you when you're screaming like this, we can talk about it when you calm down" And you can try giving agreeable choices so he feels more in control....if the candy in the grocery store grabs his attention and it's so not gonna happen, instead of saying no...say (with a degree of excitement in your voice like it's the coolest thing in the world as you're slowly and inconspicuously walking away from the object of desire) "I have an idea...why don't we go and look over there at the colorful fruit...and you can pick your favorite kind of fruit for snack!" That may redirect (distract lol) him and help him to feel a degree of control and you don't have to give in OR be the monster mom who says no!The terrible twos are a trying and frustrating time for moms and kids alike...a lot of learning the hard way happens during this time but it does get better as his reasoning skills develop. Good luck and I hope some of these ideas help!
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