Sierra - posted on 06/08/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )
I'll try to get the details needed in without this becoming a long post....
My daughter is 10. Her Dad and I are both remarried with other children. Through a long and ugly court process, I finally got my daughter every other weekend. This was when she was about 4. There was a time when my ex wouldn't let me see her for 7 months. The reason why is neither here nor there. So we went to court several times and I finally got my visitation back, and things have been fine ever since. My ex and I still don't get along, but are civil.
Well, now my daughter doesn't want to come over anymore. She says it's because she is so use to being at her Dad's all the time, and she's sad when she comes over to my place. Lately she's been just crying all the time when she is over and wants to go back to her Dad's. She spends the entire time in her room texting her Dad or Step-Mother (yes, they gave her a cell phone).
I don't know what to do, because she isn't happy unless I tell her she is going back to her Dad's early. She wants to choose when to come over, and in the same conversation said she would choose not to come over ever. I don't want to keep forcing her to come over, and everyone says this is just a phase, but it doesn't feel like it.
I'm afraid I put all that time and energy getting her back, and now I'm going to lose her again. My 2 year old keeps going around asking where Sissy is, and it just breaks my heart.
I feel like all that effort to get her back was pointless, and I should just let her not come over anymore...but it's not just about me and her, my whole family would be in ruins, again.
Like I said, I don't want to lose her again, but I don't want her to just sit here and cry for 2 days every other weekend.
Has anyone gone through this or have any advice? I'd really appreciate it. I just don't know what to do anymore.