I need help with my son and his step father getting along

Nicole - posted on 01/05/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )




So my son and my husband are step son and step father, however they do not get along at all, my son is five and my husband and i just had his first baby in may of last year my five year old has no idea who is real dad is however he knows my husband is not his dad, what do i do for them i am torn in both ways

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Stacie - posted on 01/06/2010




I feel your pain and know your problem all too well. My husband jamie didn't come into our lives till my oldest was 2 years old. Xavier didn't want to know Jamie and didn't like Jamie. Jamie took it slow and let Xavier set the pace to get to know each other. Jamie would at first sit next to Xavier when they were watching a show together. Jamie would take Xavier to get ice cream or a new toy Xavier really wanted. Jamie learned things about what Xavier was into and would talk to Xavier about that particular subject. Jamie would play with Xavier. Since my oldest doesn't know his biological father, Jamie would have what we call 'man-night". Jamie, Xavier, and Dominic (my youngest child, by my ex-husband) would have what we called "man-nights". They would rent movies and stay up till dawn "or till the kids would pass out" watching the movies. It took three years of brown nosing and buttering up my oldest, but he now loves Jamie and couldn't live without him. Maybe you could try something similar. Take something you normally wouldn't let your child do and let your husband and your oldest do it together. Maybe your they could throw the ball around outside. When your oldest is in trouble you play the bad guy and the your husband play the good guy, just make sure your son can hear your conversation so he knows your husband is taking up for the child. Maybe this will let the child know your husband cares for him.

April - posted on 01/05/2010




I hear your pain.... been in same situation with my son who's now 21 My husband spent alot of quality time..... one on one time with both my sons. althought they knw there father is a deadbeat.

have your son chose activities just for him and stepfather to participate in together.

although this worked well for one of my sons the other was still a hare relationship

Good luck hope ya'll find peace and love in your blended family

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