In tears can somebody please give me some advice?

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Michelle - posted on 01/21/2011

Children need both parents in their lives the people involved in this relationship need to grow up and see things from everyones point of view and stop being nasty as I've read all your posts and they are very negative and yes Marcella your husband does need to see his kids so I hope you can work out an arrangement with Niki that suits everyone.

Marcella - posted on 09/20/2010

I hate asking this question but one mother said he needs his mother what makes anyone think that a child dont need his father? I mean I am the stepmom and honestly for reason dont need to be posted it is best for all children concerned that he does not live with his siblings, my husband is a good father he wants to pay child support and be a big part of his children life and honestly I think it is unfair that he he is made out to be a deadbeat dad! I did fail to mention that my daughter was raised WITHOUT a father and IT DID HER MORE HARM THAN GOOD!!!! So telling someone pretty much that a child dont need their father is wrong just because we gave birth to these children talking about mine too does not give us the right to say that we are the only ones who can raise them!!!!

Michelle - posted on 09/20/2010

Hi Britney.. as you know Im in the same boat as you are.. My son lives with me and has been since his dad kicked us out when he was 5 months old. I haven't worked since then. My son is on SSI and I stay home and take care of him myself. You should fight for your son.. Your son needs his mother. Stay home with your children because they need you too and he isn't worth the pain.
My sons fathers gf talks shit about me all the time and post shit on here about me.. but you know what I have rasied my son on my own.. she doesn't know me.. she only knows what she hears and if she wants to talk shit to you let her.. cause your the better person. Don't let them get you down and in tears its not worth it.. Keep your head up and it will get better I promise.. Just look at them and smile and know that you will get better one day at a time and they won't hold you down..

Elizabeth - posted on 09/18/2010

I feel for you Ive had my children taken from me once they could never take custody from and I had my children put with my family until I could get back on my feet.Wanting whats best for your ex and his wife is wonderful but that doesn't excuse his responsibilty to care for his children.They dont understand most of them dont evenhave kids you have to make them understand and of course stay on your toes and do what is asked of them.My caseworker told me that she learned alot from me and my family,and thats what you need to make them do.Dont give up and if there involved them they can help you get child care if you really want to work Disability isn't always that easy to get I could have gotten it for being an alcholic but instead I worked hard and got a job to provide for my family Im sur theres a job that doesnt involve to much contact with alot of ppl to suit your needs the main thing is DON'T GIVE UP AND DON'T GIVE IN! I wish you the best and hope everything works out for you.God Bless

Christina - posted on 09/15/2010

Britney, my ex husbnad has two of children. I do not get to see them like am suppost to because him and his girlfriends puts me down like am a bad mother to. So I know what u are going through. But just keep or head held up and keep on trying for u and ur children.

Janice - posted on 09/15/2010

Britney, I want to empower you with words. Make your list of what has been said and if you agree or not since this is bothering you right now. Write down your positive things about yourself that you do right and then your negative but only with you plan of action to change. Take one thing and for 21 days change one negative to a positive and constantly tell yourself that you love, believe in yourself and when you feel weak ask God for strength over and over. Keep a chart of progress and journal your feelings. Do not dwell on what you have done wrong because that keeps you feeling sad. Today, is a great day and feel your thoughts with positive things to say to yourself. When you are giving to your little ones with words of love, give to yourself words of love. Write me anytime---creaativejan@yahoo.com

Marcella - posted on 09/14/2010

My husband has no problem in supporting his children and I really think it is unfair to think that he is a deadbeat dad when he is a good dad! And yes he should HELP pay for them not have to do it all by himself and get no visitation but two hours a week!

Cheryl - posted on 09/14/2010

Britney you have to do what is right for you and your children, not what eveyone wants you to do. I also have issues with large groups. Your children are intitled to child support you ex help make them he should help pay for them. Keep your head up and do whats right for you.

Lois - posted on 09/12/2010

Britney I don't know your whole story but, just know there is always people who will put us down and always those who feel they could do it better. We can't help what others think, that's on them. All that matters is what you think of yourself. If you feel you have done the best you know how then don't listen to nay sayers. I would advise you to get some kind of counseling, it can do wonders to talk to someone and help you to sort things out. I have been a caregiver for my mom the last 2 years when my stepdad passed and my mom put me in charge of her money and her life. Well my oldest sister didn't like it we actually had a falling out where my own sister said it was my fault my mom got staph and that I want her money. It hurt me deeply but no one else stepped up to do anything but they are the first to say they could do better. My son & I got so depressed we went into counseling and she literally saved our life. She shoots from the hip and says the truth. My Mom knows who was there for her. All I am saying is be strong and don't by into what others say about you. Live in the present, not the past and don't project into the future. Take care and best of luck,,,

Pat - posted on 09/12/2010

hi britney that would be nice to keep in touch,im on facebook if you want to add me hun,im here and would help you any way i can,I do understand pat xx

Niki - posted on 09/12/2010

Pat thank you so much for your advice. I've been at wits end and very unsure of how to cope with everything. My fear of large groups has been since I was a child. I have a hard time even being with alot of my family at one time. Anybody who knows me could see that I get shaky and very unsure of myself. I will take to heart everything you have said and keep my head held high. If you would like to stay in contact I would like that as you seem to understand where I am coming from. Best wishes to you in your life and very thankful for you of taking the time to help me out. Bless you Britney

Pat - posted on 09/12/2010

hi britney im sorry to hear that,you are going through a lot at the min,I would stay at home with your other children,its not your fault you fear to be in large groups,what I would do is try and over come your fear slowly if you cant then dont worry,I would keep your chin up,and dont let it get to you,I was made to be out a bad mum but i just kept my head up and let it get to.it will be hard you are doing your best good luck pat