Valerie - posted on 03/11/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )
I have a 3 yr old well almost 4. My son's father and I have been seperated since I was 3 months pregnant. I started dating my highschool sweetheart again a couple of months later, him knowing I was pregnant with another mans child. We are married now and he has been there for my son and treats him as his own. My ex is furious with me because our son calls my husband "daddy", but I have tried to explain to him that my husband has been there since birth and he has been calling him that since he started talking. My ex has standard visitation with our son and see's him on a regular basis. He has told me if I don't correct my son he would take me back to court and get full custody.Being from a blended family myself I don't feel it is right or fair for his father or I to tell him he can not call his step- parents "mom or dad", I feel it is gained in trust and love from that child. I was torn between parents when I was growing up and it wasn't fair to me to have to hide how I felt about the people I loved and took care of me, I don't want that for my child. Needless to say we are trying to correct him in this situation, but everytime we tell him no not 'daddy' just "my husbands name' he yells NO DADDY and runs off crying. I feel so bad about making my son feel that way, it's almost like I'm taking somethng important from him. How after 4 yrs do I tell him you can't call him daddy? I would not even be worried about this, but when I called my lawyer that I had from our custody case she told me I had to correct it I could lose custody. I guess my frustration is they always preach "in the best intrest of the child' how is it the best intrest if it hurts my child? My husband is not in any way trying to take my son's father place, he knows he has a father, he just wants to love him without a fight. My ex is married too and he has told me his wife is nothing to our son, i try to encourage him to make her a part of my son's life, I don't want him to feel he is not wanted by her or her family because he is not her blood. I know the day might come when he wants to call her mom and I will have to deal with it and understand that he respects her as a mother figure in his dad's house, dispite how it makes me feel. I am a stay at home mom, not because I have to but because my husband and I think it is best for my son until he gets in school. I can not bare the thought of losing him. I just want my little boy to be happy and love unconditionaly and know that his heart can be big enough for 2 sets of parents. My son know's he has 2 dads and he happy with that. Please help I need advise on how to handle this am I doing the right thing by telling him he can''t call him daddy anymore and what legally will happen if i don't make him change it?