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My kids and ex husbands live in gf don't get along! What should I do?

Victoria - posted on 09/03/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My ex husband & I have 2 sons ( 9 & 13) We have been divorced since 2004. We have a very good relationship ( took A LOT of work to get here) and he gets the kids every other weekend. His new GF movedin a few months ago after dating for about 2 years. I had not problems with her until my kids came home and one was crying saying he did'nt want to go to dads house anymore because of her. Of course I asked to see whats been going on since they had no problems before she moved in. My oldest can't stand her because she has no "common sense" and is " just stupid" ( BTW She is 22, ex is 31 & I am 29). The youngest told me that all his dad & her do is argue and fight and if he gets upset and tries to go to his room, he gets blocked by her and she'll tickle him and try to cheer him up even when all he wants is to be left alone. Both my kids have said that everything changed when she moved in, and that as long as she lives there, they don't want to go over there. Theres a lot of cussing, fighting and arguing over there, and I don't want to tell my ex who he can or can't date but I'm not sure what I should do. Any help or advice would be great!!

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1 Comment

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Chrisdee - posted on 09/03/2012

18

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Victoria,



You and your ex husband's first priority is to your children. I do believe your sons have expressed some legitimate concerns - arguing and fighting, profanity, etc. If you have not done so already, I do believe that you should address your children's concerns with their father.



Perspective is also key in this situation as the boys may also feel a bit intimidated by their father's new relationship and how they should interract with the new live in girlfriend. If it is truly a serious and potentially long-term relationship, I also think that your ex's girlfriend should acknowledge this significant change and work together with both you and your ex husband at developing an appropriate relationship with your sons. Their father has been in a relationship with her for two years, but the boys have not. It will take time for them to get to know each other.

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