Nothing is 'his' at Dad's - is this typical?

Angie - posted on 07/19/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

2

0

Every 'gift' son is given by my x and the stepmum comes with a stipulation: 'to be shared' with his 3 stepsiblings as well as all the babysitting kids the stepmum watches (upto 13). The stepsiblings don't treat their own things with respect, and all have lost their stylus pens and broken their DS's and IPods and lost chargers, everything that goes there gets broken, is lost, or denied ever existed. Son has been very responsible with his things, and is a great sharer overall - but he's being forced to share his gifts with the others - punished if he doesn't, his IPod is taken away and given to a sibling, and even the underwear I send son in - is given to the stepbro to wear while son is made to wear the stepbro's too-small underwear. I get that sharing is a good thing, a prerequisite in large families, I endorse instilling sharing, so please don't get me wrong here - but being made to share with others knowing they will break/disrepect/mistreat his things - not allowd to put it away or even hide it - punished if he doesn't share a gift given to him? (They ech got their own IPods for Christmas).

I'm wondering what other mothers out there think about this.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms

1 Comment

View replies by

Chrisdee - posted on 07/24/2012

18

0

Sharing is an admirable virtue, but so is individuality. Your son should be allowed to have things that are his alone, especially underwear. That is a bit extreme in my opinion. A large family should recognize and respect individuality, as well as, support unity and sharing. If you have not addressed your concerns with your ex and his spouse, I would definitely start there by diplomatically sharing that your son feels personally disrespected. This is not a typical situation. I would also ask your ex what the consequences are when your son's things are damaged or lost by the other children. In society, one cannot simply damage or lose another's property without consequences.