Relinquishment of Parental Rights/Child Support

Brook - posted on 06/27/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )

12

18

0

The father of my son, who is now 13, has all of a sudden decided he wants to give up his rights just so he won't have to pay child support anymore. He has been paying off and on for 12 years. When we originally went to court, I agreed to a lower amount than I could've gotten and also agreed to pay for my son's health insurance myself. We recently went back to court because the father wanted more visitation time, essentially 50/50, and to pay no child support, which did not work out in his favor. I did agree to more time, but not that much, and I also agreed to lower the child support, and the judge stuck with what I had agreed to. His father has 2 other sons which he does not pay child support on because they do the 50/50 split and he basically buys everything they need anyway. I will be the first to agree that those children are better off with him, but mine is not. The father says he doesn't like having to pay to see his son. However, he is currently $7000 behind, but he hasn't missed one single weekend or even a day that he was supposed to have. He admitted to my husband that the only reason he wanted more visitation is because he thought he wouldn't have to pay anymore. And, he spent no telling how much on an attorney when he could have just paid that toward what he already owed. What's even worse is that he convinced my son that he needed to be over there more so that he could say it was all about what my son wanted. He never gives him money for anything extra. I buy all the clothes, shoes, etc. that he keeps at his dad's house. I pay for everything school or sports related. He didn't even give him spending money to take on a church trip even though he had been at his house all the time prior to the trip and was supposed to go back there after the trip. I am really amazed that he wants to give up all rights just so he doesn't have to pay child support anymore. I really think he thought if he threatened that, I would just say he doesn't have to pay. Wrong! Has anyone else gone through this? Any advice would be great!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

7 Comments

View replies by

Britt - posted on 07/11/2011

43,857

29

102

WOW what a poor excuse not to see your child just because of child support obligations! he doesnt belong laying down with women and making children (possibly) if that was the case! He is a deadbeat when it come s to child support,
here in our county they think just 20 dollars a week shows effort- they will have compliance hearings on the CS (child support) every 3 months if not you ll be locked up and a 500 dollar bail and if you make bail the 500 is applied tothe CS.
It helps out for those who are 'scared,' to go to jail sorry to hear about your BD of ur son, sounds like he is better off without him! so sad!

Angela - posted on 07/03/2011

6

36

0

I am ..... Just haven't got lucky on my children father giving up his rights. If that is what he wants I would say fine. I don't know about your state but alot of states will still make him pay child support even if he sign his rights away.

Angela - posted on 07/01/2011

9

0

0

Yes I went through that same crap. He was only paying $40 a week cause i drew up divorce papers myself and didnt know what I was entiteled to which was 3x as much and he paid for 3 yrs and last year asked to relinquish rights and asked my now husband to adopt him so he would get out of payint child support. we asked him if we stopped support all together if he would still try to see Nathan but he said no and didnt see him for one year. The state of Arkansas started to file for support modification and he knew about it and committed suicide June 2nd and his wife who is 11 yrs my jr and immature blames me for his death and his family. I hate that dads think they can divorce their kids...they are still bio linked.

Christina - posted on 06/30/2011

1,513

28

140

Tell him to go for it. He can sign his rights away but even if he does, only YOU can end the child support. If he really feels that way, tell him to go for it, but he will never see his son again. Might be time for your husband to adopt your son and y'all move on with your lives.

Alicia - posted on 06/28/2011

217

35

48

I don't understand it either. My ex is started to try to be a dad but I think that is only because my kids have become really attached to my boyfriend now & talk about him alot & want to spend time with him because he is there for them. My ex did alot of damage to my kids while they were younger & I am very scared that this is just a phase for my ex and my kids will end up getting hurt again. I hope I am wrong but my gut says i am not. There is really nothing we can do as mother's to protect our kids from thier fathers but to be there for them & let them know they are loved very much. It is sooo wrong that your ex says he thinks of your son as a car payment hopefully he has never said that in front of your son & alot of time we as mothers have to be the bigger parent & keep our comments to ourselves but I truly believe that if we are there for our kids we can make up for some of the things the father does cause it is sooo important that our children know that they are loved & that we are here for them no matter what. I wish you the best

Brook - posted on 06/27/2011

12

18

0

I am in TX. And yes, even though he signs away his rights, I could still make him responsible for the money already owed. However, my child's well-being is much more valuable than any child support I might ever get so I am willing to wipe it all away if he gives up his rights. I just don't understand why money is more important to him than his son. It kills me! My current husband and I have 1 child together, and he has always treated my oldest just like his own, and far better than his biological father has ever treated him. And I think that makes his "father" angry also. Instead of being glad that he has someone who treats his son well, he wants to gripe about everything. My husband has never tried to take the "father's" place, but has always been there for my son when his dad wasn't. And he says he will buy clothes, shoes, etc. if he doesn't have to pay child support, but he won't. He thinks because my husband and I work our rumps off to have a nice home and do things for our kids, that he shouldn't have to take care of anything. I know many dads who pay child support, far more than he does, that pay on time every month and then go above and beyond to do extra things for their kids here and there. He just doesn't get that. He said he looks at his son like he's a car payment. Who says that about their kid that they profess to love so much? I am a Christian and we as a family have prayed profusely about all of this, just that God's will will be done and that we all do what is best for our son. He claims to be a Christian as well, but tends to take things out of context in the Bible to fit his particular situation. When asked what he wanted out of all this, he simply said "Luke 6:31" (Do unto others as you would have them do unto you). I wanted to respond with practice what you preach, but didn't think that would help any. I also wanted to ask him how he thought he deserved to be treated after putting our son through this. He has absolutely crushed him! And he has told his younger siblings that he chose to stay at our house from now on. I just don't get how anyone could act that way toward their child.

Alicia - posted on 06/27/2011

217

35

48

YES!!!!!!! My ex husband is $6,000 behind & the state was going to throw him in jail or suspend his class A CDL lic. so he came up to me & told me if I would say he didn't own any back child support & dropped the child support case he would sign over his rights & I for 1 didn't believe him & for two on the state of OK you can sign your rights away & still have to pay child support. So yeah I totally understand what you are going through.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms