Son calling bio mom step mom

Lindsay - posted on 11/29/2010

Coming from the bio mom's point of view... not to make anyone angry. My child is my child and nobody elses. He has a step mom, and he calls her by her name. He has a step dad, and calls him by his name. Neither his bio dad or myself or the steps endorse him calling either of the step parents mommy or daddy. You are his step mom,and he should recognize that. I do not dislike my son's step mom, and think she does a decent job being his full time mom. I left my son in his father's care for a good and selfless reason. Step mom started out as the babysitter, so I talked to her a little before they got married. My son sometimes gets confused, and calls me by his step mom's name. I just tell him that isn't my name, and I tell him mine. He tell's me that my name is mommy. He is 4 now, and has been visiting me every other weekend for two years now. He has never gotten it confused. If I were the bio mom in that situation I would be very hurt if my son was not informed when he misspoke. I dont think that it is anything to do with his feelings toward his mom, but that he just hasnt been corrected.

Brittany - posted on 11/28/2010

Thanks for the advice- since my son was so little when I became his mom that he has never understood the concept of having only one mommy. Even in his school we made it a point to never refer to me as step mom in front of him so he doesn't really understand what that word means. As of right now he still talks/thinks as if he were in my belly- he makes comments as to how small he was inside of me or how certain traits he got from me. I'm sure he will one day realize that I did not carry him inside of me but as of right now he is to young to understand any of this and I don't want to hurt his feelings, especially since it's my family that he is closest to. I will, however, try to correct him when referring to her as step mom just like I would hope her to correct him if he were to ever refer to me as anything but mommy.

Julie - posted on 11/28/2010

he is only 6 and confused. he thinks because the new guy is stepdad then she must be stepmum. try to explain to him what the situation is without going into too much detail. has anyone ever tried to tell him why he has 2 mums in the firstplace. he's a little boy who needs someone to explain the ins and outs of these relationships. good luck

Marcella - posted on 11/25/2010

Hun though not in the same situation my SS does about the same thing when he is with us he calls me mommy and his biomom by her name and visa versa,and we do try to correct him but it seems to make it that much worse, unless it is really brought up just let it go, he is confused right now it seems in the end he will understand what each roll is, I hope this helps