Michelle - posted on 02/11/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )
My ex and I had our custody/divorce trial late in December where I asked that he be required to have supervised visitation. This was due to his verbal/emotional abuse toward me during our marriage, his documented PTSD and anger issues (medically retired from the military for it) and the fact that he did not interact with my son for the 2 months after his birth that we lived together and then saw him a total of 8 times in the following 12 months (never alone). The judge granted my request, saying that if the supervised visits between my ex and son progressed well and my ex proved he was fit they would transition to unsupervised and eventually overnight visitation. So far my ex has been to one visit, refused to attend the second because he didn't like the terms and now wants to bring other people with him to most of his future visits.
I'm hoping there are some moms out there who have dealt with similar situations because my question is -- what kind of time frame is "normal" (average) for the supervised portion? I had thought a few months since the visits are only once a week (or every other week) for an hour. My ex is incredibly good at hiding his true self, convincing people he is one person and then being horribly abusive in private. My fear is that, if the supervision period is too short, he will simply fool the staff and then my son will suffer. He's only 16 months old, not able to really speak yet, so I'd have no idea if anything bad happened. I'm worried and could use some info/ advice/ encouragement. Thanks!