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Two kids with Ex and he shows favoritism to one kid should I mention it to him?

Alisha - posted on 06/19/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have a six year old girl and a 3 almost 4 year old boy with my ex. He has been showing favoritism toward the older girl. During pick up he goes straight to her and hugs and makes a big deal about her sometimes leaving our boy just to walk behind them. Two years ago when we first separated he only took our daughter a few times til I put my foot down and told him to take both. When he calls them he txts first to see if we are busy and he asks to talk to her not him.... Do I tell him these things or would that be stomping on his parenting? I don't want him to think I am telling him what to do but I think our son is going to grow bitter towards him? I just don't like to see him hurt... he has been getting really close with his step dad they go fishing together and do all kinds. I just don't know if I should get in ex's business

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Alisha - posted on 06/26/2012

48

5

"F" thank you for the advise I will maybe have him draw his dad a picture telling him about his day here. I try and keep the older daughter back when doing drop off to hug her so he can have a chance to greet his dad. But your right their is really nothing I can do about it. I think that he my son is aware of the favoritism. And I do think its cause he treats him still like a baby. He had a better bond with the girl when she was a baby but I think he cares more about what she thinks than him cause she is older. But thank you again I will try subtle things without planting more insecurity in him.

F - posted on 06/25/2012

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That's a tough one, and I'm dealing with it myself, except that he favours the older boy and often ignores the younger daughter, and he has since her birth. The direct approach might blow up on you--is there any way you could be subtle about it? When he calls and asks for your daughter, could you say that she's busy, but that your son is available? Could you have your son text or email him at some random time (and by that I mean your son dictates and you type, since he's still only 3). Your son is probably aware of the favouritism, and may possibly forget all about it once his dad starts treating him better. There's no excuse for it since he's their dad, but maybe he favours your daughter more because she's older? There's a huge difference in maturity levels at those ages. Maybe he just doesn't know what to do with your son? Maybe sending a favourite book or telling him some of his favourite activities might help?

Whatever you choose to do, I would talk to both of your kids about it if things don't change. Make sure your daughter knows that her brother is not to be ignored and treating him that way is unacceptable.

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