what are some of the reason why you got divorced?

KENDRA - posted on 10/20/2009 ( 118 moms have responded )

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what are some of reason why you got divorced? for it was to kept my kids safe. how about you? o and he cheated !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Twyla - posted on 10/20/2009

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what it boils down to , is when jesus christ isnt the center of the marriage. personaly i dont c how it can work, i found out the hard way , i regreat the devorce, and 4 years later i realize i stil love him, but hes married now . so ther u go . my father was a minister and so was his . loking back and saying if only , is the saddest thing in the world . god bless u to the highest highs

Alisha - posted on 01/11/2012

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cheater... manipulator.. my ex treated me like an object. He shouldn't have gotten married but he likes to appear like the perfect guy. He preyed on me when I was 16... and 10 years later I grew up and saw all that he was doing. He would tell me if I didn't do it with him (sexually) He would have to go else where. And that all men are like that and I couldn't get better than him. He had me completely believing these lies. I am now married to my best friend and were expecting :) Life can get better. I am sad that the other kids had to go through it and there dad makes them sad every-time I pick them up so its still hard on them.

Helen - posted on 10/21/2009

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First time-too much physical and emotional abuse. The straw came when he tried to hit one of our children. Touch me but DON'T EVER touch my kids.
Second time-emotional abuse to me and emotional and physical abuse to one of my children from my first marriage. We have a daughter together and now she is scared of her dad because of what she had seen him do to her brother.

Amy - posted on 10/21/2009

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Wow I thought I was one of the only ones that have went through all of that. I was with my now ex husband for almost 10 years. Things were good at first then it all went down hill after we got married. I left my ex in March it seemed like things got better from then on we can talk now and it seems so much better for the kids. They are doing so much better and they know that we both love them very much.

Melissa - posted on 07/15/2012

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my ex beat me up, cheated on me and was a drug addict. and my other one was an ever bigger loser who cheated on me stole for me and was a ragging racist.

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Katie - posted on 11/21/2012

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My boyfriends ex wife cheated on him while he was in the Army and sent him a letter saying that she was leaving him and had another guy living with her and the kids...

Jane - posted on 09/10/2012

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In march 2003 my dad died in oct.2003 my mom died. I decided to have my then husband adopt my daughter. I told him I was going to get the paperwork to start the process. He acted so strange. 2 days later he made the announcement that the year prior he was convicted of prostitution procurement. He told me this 2 weeks after my mom died and 2 weeks befor my 40th b-day.needles to sat I spent a month getting checked for std's then promptly filed for a divorce. It was mind numbing to say the least to learn of this after 10 years of divorce. The following week my friend died. 4 deaths followed the next year. I am very grateful that I am very grateful I got my divorce and am no longer at risk for hepatitis or aids.

Christine - posted on 08/19/2012

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My ex-husband and I were together for 21 yrs married for 15 yrs. Everything was great until his mother passed away and he started abusing prescription drugs. He stopped working, stole money, jewelry, etc. I tried to help and stand by him by sending him to rehab facilities but once he would come home he went back to using. The last time he went to rehab I told him I was not ready for him to come home. I paid for him to live at a home for men with addiction problems. I was at the point that I could not take it anymore especially with my 4 yr. old daughter at home. He had been away 14 months of her life (7 months) 2 different rehab facilities. Instead of focusing on getting well for his family, he continued to focus on himself and met other women and cheated.

Chrisdee - posted on 07/23/2012

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Infidelity, verbal and emotional abuse. Not a healthy environment for myself or our children.

Melinda - posted on 07/10/2012

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cheating and lieing and he didnt want to hold a job cause his lover followed him around

Emily - posted on 07/06/2012

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its sad. iam getting divorced by the end of the year. once we save enough money for two different lifes. we have a toddle we love both to death. he is not mean but ice cold. ive been with him since i was 18 and for 10 years we were married and waited 8 years before we had our baby.....he is a cancer crap.shuts down and will not let any one in., i feel iam not myself around him and lonely ....he talks to girls online all the time. caught him more than 5 times and he would loet me in his emails and we shut them down together. was always just a fantasy thing for him...he is not that brave to actually meet some one... i ended up feeling neglected sad and extreamlly lonely after i had my baby. so i talked to someone online. he found out and hated it... now we are just cold and cant be happy any more , i don't want to settle and don't want my son to grow up watching his depressed father and thinking this is how married life is. and i want to be happy.. and feel valuable again.

Michelle - posted on 04/21/2012

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no mid-life ...just a bastard man who has never been taught not to cheat...society enables it

Michelle - posted on 04/21/2012

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another reason why christianity is for men...haha. what stooges women have been for centuries...

Michelle - posted on 04/21/2012

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women need to fight men's cheating -mothers and grandmorthers and gurus have all been too nice by saying "forgive"...men don't forgive, this is why women don't do it as often as men...

Tammy - posted on 01/28/2012

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Married way too young (18) and was in an abusive relationship- physically, mentally & financially. I left at 30 because I didn't want our daughters (12 and 8 at the time) to think this was a normal relationship. This was nearly 10 years ago- engaged now and know I would never be in this position again!

Violet - posted on 01/18/2012

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I would have to say.... physical, mental,verbal abuse. Enough was enough. Tired of playing the stress game. He cheated plenty and yet I worked it out, because I believed I was suppose to endure all the crap, for better or worse shit. In the end the lord would not want us to suffer intentionally so I decided that I would try to be strong, and I left.

Jodi - posted on 01/14/2012

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Because I realized that although two people can love one another that doesn't always mean they are good for each other. Together my husband and I were volatile, and unhealthy which made us unhealthy parents. He was an abuser and I the victim which for 10 years made perfect sense to me (I know I know) until my son arrived.



Then it became more about my son and less about what I needed or wanted, more about what was healthy for him and for myself. And I realized that I was worth something, and if I was going to be a good mother I was going to teach my son that in this life - you can love people, care for them so deeply but that doesn't mean they are good for you and you should have them in your life.



It was the best decision I ever made.

Hollie - posted on 01/11/2012

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my ex cheated on me with a way younger female. she was 17 at the time. i dont forgive cheating, couldnt stand his abusive ways anyhow. I m doin much better since i have remarried.

Heather - posted on 12/16/2011

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Ill be going though a divorce soon. he cheated on me a month after i moved in with him an told me 5 years later what he did.. then come to find out he sexual molested my 2 girls and made my son watch and do things to them also. my kids came out and told me and he left state before they told me what happen. so i reported it they got him a few months later and 6 months after getting him he was sentenced to 7 years on jail... can come to find out he also did it to his own sisters when they were younger and the mom knew and let it go on.. SICK BITCH... but thats why im getting one..

LovingMom - posted on 11/22/2011

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Wow, can't believe I'm the only one who's husband went through mid-life! He kicked me out overnight, left his job and married his secretary! At the time our son was 3, her son was 2 and her daughter was 1.

Melissa - posted on 11/16/2011

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The reason that I got the divorce was because I was tired of living with my life under his control, tired of the abuse both physically and emotionally...I had a baby to take care of and it kept getting worse. I decided to be the strong one and take my daughter and leave, and I am very happy that I did.

Kitty - posted on 11/16/2011

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wow sounds the same here yikes! but we try and work things seem it just goes in Circles If i get Devoriced im not gonna re marry unless we are insink! and if im happy i wouldnt dare cheat again!!...

Faye - posted on 08/01/2011

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His cheating and my depression were the main causes of our divorce.



I worked on my depression but he never worked on his cheating. In fact at one point he told me to get help or he was gone. I did get help, he stayed for another 5 years before he left. He was "tired of trying".



I came out of my depression when, within the same week, I found out my company was closing its doors and my marriage was on the rockS.



(edited to add) For 7 years, I was the one who kept the full time job, while he owned a computer repair buisness. He worked the second and third weeks of every month so that the bills were taken care of in the first week (he would get paid in the fourth week). VERY STRESSFUL not knowing IF or when he would work.



My work schedule was 7:30-4 M-F while he would work evenings and overnights. Because of this the kids had to go to daycare when they were little and during school holidays as he would sleep during the day because he MIGHT work that night.

Britt - posted on 07/10/2011

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Never could trust BD of our kids (bio dad) he is sneeky / a con and manipulates.

He always had his eyes out on other women, I just became unattracted to someone of that nature. After domestic violence in our marriage ( alot of police runs to our residence) he has a bad temper, throws things, kicks in walls, doors, punches walls, it got worse to the point of him hitting me after hitting the wall- the officer was right- he told me soon he will hit me after he is threw of punching the wall he pictures my face when he does it.

Just Lost the love, but im with the love of my life now! :) re married and we have 1 child.

Yalana - posted on 07/10/2011

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To all formerly abused wives - Good for you on getting out!!!! I am a formerly abused wife who felt that my and my kids' lives were more important than him having beer money while our children starved! As far as I know he didn't cheat, but I couldn't have cared less about that...I stopped sleeping with him willingly three years before our divorce! I am in a wonderful relationship with my high school sweetheart and things couldn't be better!

To Nikita - sorry to hear that you didn't get your son back, but happy as a pig in mud that he didn't either!!!!!! Keep fighting for your boy!

Nikita - posted on 07/10/2011

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by the way new update on the post i rote befor my ex did not get my son thank god but niether did i but i still get to talk to and see my son my ex does not thank u god but i am now happyly married to a new man hes older more mature oh and we have a beautifull 4 month old boy im happy now if only my ex would just give up and leave me alone

Yalana - posted on 07/04/2011

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My ex is an abusive alcoholic bi-polar paranoid schizophrenic...'nuff said!

Beverly - posted on 04/19/2010

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Got pregnant-- got married to do : the right thing". Never really got to know one another with having to now raise a baby and work. Had second child 31/2 yrs later now raising two.
We basically drifted more apart --each had own views on "disiplining" the kids ect. Eventually got to arguing all the time---name calling on both parts, controlling on his part with my life and esp. the finances. Got to the point where I could handle the lack of respect and communication and having both kids deal with this on a daily basis as well. They need to know that this isn't what "love" is suppose to be like.

Sarah - posted on 04/17/2010

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i got a divorce from my ex husband because he hit me when i was 7 1/2 months pregnant and because he would not help me with our daughter and he also would not let me have a life or help when i had surgery!!!

Alicia - posted on 04/13/2010

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my ex husband cheated on me when our son was only 2 months old & we couldn't get along anymore & it was starting to affect my kids. Though it's no better now cause I am the one who left him & that had never happened before. He could usually talk his way out of it. So now we fight all the time anyways & it's still affect our kids

Heather - posted on 04/11/2010

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Well, I was in training to work as a corrections officer. I was only gone for four weeks but home every weekend. At that time, I was eight months pregnant with our third child. On Saturday morning of the first week home my husband left his cell phone on the headboard when he left for work. His girlfriend began texting him (she thought). When I confronted him he lied. So I left. A few days later he talked me into coming back. I stayed until our youngest son was 5 months old and decided I couldn't live the lies anymore. This was in August. In January I got a call from him saying I needed to pick up our children. When I asked him why he said he had to turn himself into the police. Shocked I called the county sheriff's office where he worked to find out what was happening. I was informed he was being charged with a Class D Felony for Sexual Contact with a female inmate. That was all the information I needed to file for divorce.

Kara - posted on 03/24/2010

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my husband got a job in sales and was never there for me and my son(traveling), but still thinks it was my fault because i did'nt "tell him what was wrong" when he would come home and stay on the computer the whole time he was there

Trisha - posted on 03/22/2010

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There was too much drama and distance between us. We got married for all the wrong reasons to begin with and alothoughI loved him, he couldn't forgive me for an infidelity in our marriage. He then shacked up with the current woman he's with and our marriage ended there. Lots of bogus accusations flew around and in hindsight I am relieved that we got divorced....we're both better off because of it.

Jennifer - posted on 03/21/2010

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my ex husband decided our 17 year old baby sitter could take better care of him then I could...actually he told me that she was nice to him...but I can say I am now happily divorced for over 8 years and I have accomplished a hell of a lot more without him in my life...like obtaining my bachelors degree in 7 weeks!

[deleted account]

I divorced for multiple reasons, but the key reason was because my husband was very controlling and had anger issues. these issues effected both me and my children. Now they we are divorced I am more myself and can be there better for my children. The tension and fear has diminished greatly.

Lhynne - posted on 03/19/2010

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I decided to call it quits because I felt like I'm living with a roommate not a husband. After we got married his true skin sheds the truth. He is selfish, manipulative and irresponsible. He would not provide for my daughter's need unless I ask him to. He doesn't even want to take of her on his day-offs, according to him having her stay home with him is very inconvenient for him. But he have the nerve to get mad everytime I didn't cook dinner. It got into a point that I had to tell him that I would cook for him if he gives me money for groceries. On top of that, after I kicked him out, he was cheating while we were married. You see, I didn't divorced him because of the cheating part... but for lack of responsibilities of being a father and a husband. I don't need that extra weigh on me

Tina - posted on 03/17/2010

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The first marriage was because he chose his parents over what would make me happy.....the second....he cheated while I was deployed in the navy and he started putting his hands on me.

Maegen - posted on 03/17/2010

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My husband and I were married for four years before having kids. We have 2 boys. Right after my youngest was born my husband left for training for 3 months. The first month we were fine. Then as our 7 year anniversary came around the boys and I went to visit him. He said that he was not a good husband or father and that the boys and I deserve better. I asked him if he thinks we deserve better why would he not want to be a better person rather than just tell me to find someone else. My husband had started drinking and I feel that something had happened that he felt extremely guilty over. We had 1 month until his training was done when he called and said he wanted a divorce.My baby was 3 months old. There was no abuse but know looking back there were a million signs. He always wanted to be out with his friends, he would never make plans for the future ect. There is so much that I miss but in the long run it will be good. I just pray that my boys don't suffer because of his childish behavior.

Jamie - posted on 03/16/2010

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i got divorced from my first husband because he was abbusive....im now getting another divorce because he wasnt nice to my older kids from the first marriage....

Maye - posted on 02/25/2010

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Lots of reasons and all the same a woman! I was not a good wife, but I never fooled around. Now I have a good husband that went through the same so we have things in common. Most important I am happy and happy for my ex and his wife. Above all Christ comes first is right.

Linda - posted on 02/25/2010

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hey my ex was verbally abusive,arguementive,cheated he wanted to live a single life but stay married. i said no thanks! tried conciling only helps if both agree & willing to try etc. wasnt a good enviroment for children or myself!.

ReBecca - posted on 02/23/2010

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Lack of respect, control issues, seperate lifestyles, cheating, Alcohol/Drug abuse, Physical Mental Abuse, alot of communication problems and resentments of mistakes and lack of interest in trying to make marraige better, low physical attractions/chemistry. In law pressures. WAY TOO MANY 2nd/last chances, self-centerness and lack of help/interest in being family oreinted,

Sandy - posted on 02/22/2010

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Wow alot of the people here have the same reasons as I do. I am not gonna say he cheated because I never caught him at it. There was alot of the belittling and the mental abuse was unbearable. I stayed way too long in the situation though. My kids had to live through so much of it. My kids are my life and they always will be. They are pretty much grown now as my son is a senior in College and by the end of the year he will be starting his carreer as an Officer in the United States Army and my daughter is in nursing school. My ex even tried to make me believe that I was a bad mother even after the split. I think I done a pretty good job with raising my kids through their teenage years by myself and getting them headed in the right direction. I dont have to deal with being belittled on a daily basis anymore and it is great.

Alison - posted on 02/22/2010

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Because he was controling person and he listen to his parents what he was suppose do and he was too close to his family.

Nichole - posted on 02/17/2010

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When My youngest son (who is now 2) was a week old on new years eve night I caught him with not just another woman but someone I knew and trusted. I tried for almost a year to work through it I just couldn't deal so I told him either I was leaving or he was but it was over! When he cheated on me we had been together for almost 3 years and married for just over 5 months.

Cyndi - posted on 02/16/2010

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He cheated ......We dated for 10 years got married and was married for 9 years and 2 kids later. He said I did give him what he wanted in the marriage and I did more with our boys them him. Now just so you know I have a 5 year old who has Autism and my 9 year old has ADD and that not the end of their behaivor problems. He did cheat while we dated so now I think he did through the hole marriage and I just cought it. Now if you ask him it because I shopped to much or I just spent to much money on the kids. I is still very hard on me and the boys, we had to leave our home and move in with my parents.

Heidi - posted on 02/13/2010

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He was a controlling, emotionally and sometimes physically abusive for ten years.. the last straw was when he had me convinced he was cheating on me ... and I believed him.. I was contemplating ending my life.. b/c he had my self esteem so low in how he treated me.. For whatever reason one day.. I just had enough and took my kids and walked out... its been a year and he will be remarrying in June to my ex best friend.. so he was cheating at some point through out our marriage... and she does know how he treated me.. she witnessed some parts.. so she knows whats coming... but getting a divorce was standing up for my self and my children was the best thing I ever did.. I have no regrets...for leaving.. just that I stayed for so long

Jodi - posted on 02/12/2010

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I learned a lot from my divorce. We were like oil and water and combustable and didn't mix. He was abusive physically and mentally and it took me years to realize the pattern I was in was so unhealthy and harmful. I have forgiven him, though he is still bitter. He blames me for everything something to which only God can help him with now. I'm now married to a wonderful man in the healthiest relationship ever with my best friend. I think ppl get together and if you try to be something you aren't for someone else you aren't being true to yourself and it messes things up. I learned a lot about myself despite the bad times during the ten or so years I was with my ex. It helped me grow and move on to have a more stable and healthy relationship with my husband now. But it was hard.

Angela - posted on 02/09/2010

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too keep my kids safe and he never wanted to do anything supporting his family was the last thing on his mind

Cherie - posted on 02/09/2010

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I am applying for a divorce at the present time. I was married since I was 19. I was 32 when he walked out. I am now 34. He walked out because he has tried for many years to get sober and off the drugs. He also cheated on me quite a few times. Because we have kids together we talk and I give him still the time of day to a point. He says there was no better way for us to split. i tried a few times but my parents were like I have to stand behind my man and it was me being to picky that it was okay for him to drink. My parents didnt know he used pot. I see today how it has affected my children. My kids are 17, soon to be 15 and 12 1/2. Dont know if I mentioned but there was also cheating. He called in the last week to apologize to me and to say that he used me because I have such a good heart and because it was easy to manpulate me. Boy has that made me upset. I should of years ago just left and screwed what my parents had to say. So now I am working on a divorce, fightn for maintence back pay and going to take him to small claims court and sue him for a loan we got when we were married and something he hasnt paid for yet. My poor kids. I put them through alot and I just am seeing it 2 years later.

Jackie - posted on 01/31/2010

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Do you believe me if I tell you that after 3 years, I still don't know the reasons, why I got divorced. My ex came one day and told me he was leaving, just like that. We talked of course, but he never told me why he was leaving...!!! lol

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