what are some of the reason why you got divorced?

Cherie - posted on 02/09/2010

I am applying for a divorce at the present time. I was married since I was 19. I was 32 when he walked out. I am now 34. He walked out because he has tried for many years to get sober and off the drugs. He also cheated on me quite a few times. Because we have kids together we talk and I give him still the time of day to a point. He says there was no better way for us to split. i tried a few times but my parents were like I have to stand behind my man and it was me being to picky that it was okay for him to drink. My parents didnt know he used pot. I see today how it has affected my children. My kids are 17, soon to be 15 and 12 1/2. Dont know if I mentioned but there was also cheating. He called in the last week to apologize to me and to say that he used me because I have such a good heart and because it was easy to manpulate me. Boy has that made me upset. I should of years ago just left and screwed what my parents had to say. So now I am working on a divorce, fightn for maintence back pay and going to take him to small claims court and sue him for a loan we got when we were married and something he hasnt paid for yet. My poor kids. I put them through alot and I just am seeing it 2 years later.

Jackie - posted on 01/31/2010

Do you believe me if I tell you that after 3 years, I still don't know the reasons, why I got divorced. My ex came one day and told me he was leaving, just like that. We talked of course, but he never told me why he was leaving...!!! lol

Heather - posted on 01/28/2010

My soon to be ex is domestically violent, extremely manipulative, and a liar. Always will be.

Monieca - posted on 01/28/2010

I caught him cheating...on the internet... he says it not cheatting bc he never touched any of them..that doesn't count the time he hasnt work. while I am going to shcool and working part time...plus i did all the hose work when i came home....

Stephanie - posted on 01/27/2010

i guess the biggest reason we got divorced would be because of drug use. i wanted to get clean and stay that way and he didnt. so i always went back to using with him. over the twelve year use of meth, we both cheated on each other and lost a son in a car crash, my step dad and our son were the only people in the car. my step dad walked away with only some minor cuts, our son died.we divorced 3 years later when he got busted for possesion. that was 3.5 years ago.hes remarried to a 20 year old, and im getting remarried this summer.

Becky - posted on 01/21/2010

After 18 yrs, it was time. He is bi-polar, among other things and a tremendous LIAR. Mentally abusive and did become physical a bit at times. Believe it ended with me when we met his "friend" he met from the mental facility he was in over 2 yrs ago. At a mall, he held her hand, sat across from me holding her hand, while we ate and even walked her to the bathroom. ya, I BLEW UP !! He wouldn't stop calling her, even though I begged him not to.Guess all the things MY kids and the girl we have together were right about him. I was blinded by his lies!! He turned so selfish and his all about "ME" attitude that we couldn't take it anymore. Our daughter is a "cutter" now because and has been for 2 yrs but I thought they were cat scratches(feel bad that i didn't see). There is soooo much more but this is just a touch of what we went through. Now he is a deadbeat dad, hasn't given 1 penny to help with her, even though we are both on disability(It's physical disability for me and of course, mental for him). He gets about what we get per month but I have to support her on my own, a teenager! Homeless for 2 months while he lives in our inherited home(says he would die in an apartment). He didn't care or even helped us then. He got another girl to talk to also in the meantime. But moving out was right because things come together. Got into an apartment(with help) and based on my income, which I DESPERATELY needed and my daughter is going to counseling. There's a long road ahead of us but we are getting healthy now and there's no where to go but up! To all going through a difficult divorce, get help and answers and most of all, say a prayer. HE got us through this and will continue to do so. Good luck to all and may you find peace, which you so richly deserve!!

Jeana - posted on 12/28/2009

I didn't want my exhusband talking to me infront of the kids about problems with bills and why the house wasn't clean when he came home from work.And the cussings in front of the kids I just wasn't going to tolarate. So he came took the kids one day and moved them in with him and his new girlfriend.He was a Cop so the threats were flying.That was in August 2002. To present day. I speak to him rarely and try to get my kids atleast once a month.For I am on Dissability.I started having so Problems about 9 months before he moved out in November 2001. I think we get along better now. If we spoke to each othe more I don't know how it would end.

Nikki - posted on 12/28/2009

He was abusive - mentally, emotionally, and starting physically. He kept trying to change who I was, because "he didn't like who I was, and thought he could make me a better person". It was time to put my happiness before anyone else's.

Leticia - posted on 12/26/2009

Men are funny. I met my ex-husband's representative and he couldn't keep up the lie. He said he wanted long term relationship, as many kids as he could afford, and didn't want to be like his father. LIES!!! I caught him cheating with my own eyes.I don't talk to him, but its shameful he has divorced his kids. Life is funny.

Jennifer - posted on 12/25/2009

I left my husband the first time was because he fell into deep depression. I know that may sound low. I could not longer see him sleep all day and when i did get up we would fight. He told me some pretty scary things. i could no longer allow our children to see daddy sick. The last time we split was because we got into a huge fight and he called me some pretty bad names and i knew he didn't change. He still tries to control me and my life. Because of the control and the mood swings we can never be together.

Emilia - posted on 12/25/2009

He beat me bloody and choked me out to the point of unconsciousness. Amazingly enough he STILL got custody.

Yea, the law protects our children.

NOT.

Rene - posted on 12/25/2009

I totally understand My soon to be ex husband was the same way verbally abusive. One face for the rest of the world. And another for at home. The final straw was when he shoved his stepdaughter on the floor so he could spank her. Words are bad enough but if he thought he could hit us... we left. Sadly he still blames me and her. And since I was home and was able to stop him.... No bruises, no proof his two girls go see him every week and I can't stop it. My three year old comes home saying horrible things and the courts just shrug and say I'm over protective. The good news is my kids can laugh and play and make messes and be kids and no one screams at them at my house and... They laugh now. Life is getting better if I could only take the sadness out of their eyes.

Lisa - posted on 12/23/2009

Replying to Terri's. I am so with you there. I started having bad feelings about him messing around and couldn't catch him. There was a lot of dishonesty then came the mistrust of me to him and then I shut him out of the bedroom then didn't want him to touch me at all. Come to find out he was acting against my sister (minor). She was too afraid to tell me when it was happening but told my mom and stopped coming around my house. During the time I shut him out and withdrew he started surfing the net for the next big attraction. He's remarried to her and has never been punished for his crime against my marriage, against the law, against my sister. It could never be proven because it wasn't brought to me or the police at the time of the occurances so he's gotten away with it. I know for a fact NOW that I need to pay more attention to my gutt feelings and instincts concerning anyone because if I would have caught him, he'd be spending his life in prison with big bubba and not having visitation with my children.

Linda - posted on 12/16/2009

wow I really feel for everyone who has posted. hard to believe we are in these situations until we can look from the outside in. Remember to always love who you are, and any person must treat you with respect and dignity. Don't make excuses for them if they don't. Love who you are.

Nikita - posted on 12/15/2009

I am 21 now got married at 20 and i thought i knew him cause we grew up together since i was 2 years old well as soon as my last name changed to his thats when the real person came out of him he beat me threatened me with a gun while i was preg. with his son he put a knife at my stomache while preg. chased me in our apartment conplex threatening me and he cheated and threw our son at me i almost dropped him but thank god i didn't he is on drugs don't know how he gets by with that his in the national guards in tn and the dcs is giving my son back to him instead of me! he keeps messing up and all that i did was 1 day before court i got scared and new i still had depression issues so i took off to nc to my moms so i could straighten myself up. then came back and my dcs worker and atterney said i had no chance on getting him back so i moved on but yet my soon to be for sure ex keeps felling drug tests and no job still living with mommy but yet he is getting my son.

Natashi - posted on 12/07/2009

Can u say he was a Cheetah

Janice - posted on 12/06/2009

he was disabled and i had taken care of him for 1 1/2 years, we were moving from one place to another and he decieded he was not going to move with us. the rent for the new place was $600 a month all i was receiving from him was 632.00 a month, could not pay rent and elec. or buy food. So i moved to Alaska and divorced him. He was verbally and physically abuseive after he became disabled from drug abuse.

Megan - posted on 12/05/2009

My ex & I split up because he is immature & irresponsable. Yes he has a job, no he didn't boink my sister. But, he was disrespectful towards me, my family, all throughout my pregnancy & for 3 months afterwards. He had 2 kids from a previous relationship and through my entire pregnancy he talked about how he went to all of her dr appt. but he never went to even 1 of mine. I have epilepsy(seizures) and one day when my son was abt a month old I had a seizure. He looked at me when I woke up said, "You had a seizure, the kids don't have school today, I called your parents and they're gonna take the baby. Oh make sure the kids eat, I'm going to work bye." I forgave him b/c we'd been together 4 yrs & had been friends for 9.

But in the end it came down to him "working late", almost every night. Only come to find out (my dad witnessed it) he was out drinking with his friends leaving me at home with his 2 kids & our infant. I called him he never answered so Icalled his mom & told her to come pick up his son and demon seed daughter.

It wouldn't have been the end except he came home screaming and yelling. he would get right in my face and scream things at me, it got so bad the cops were called. I was humiliated in front of friends, family, his kids. Then he left, said he wasn't ready to do the parent thing again. So I threw all his stuff out.

I know I sound mean how I talk about the daughter but understand, his 5 yr old daughter would tell people she hoped I got killed and the baby too. Maybe she was jealous, but theres no excuse for threatening a baby. I'm glad they're gone. Not b/c I hated him, but b/c his kid was too much for me to handle and she was dangerous for my son to be around. I still miss him no doubt, but it was for my son's sake as well as my pride.

Donna - posted on 12/02/2009

I actually was the first one to filed for divorce than my ex husband decided to file for it in a different state. I actually wanted a divorce because I wasn't happy with him. Now I'm completely torn as of the fact his parenting plan mostly he has say about everything regarding my daughter. I feel so helpless so pretty much he has primary custody of my daughter. :(

Elizabeth - posted on 12/02/2009

Oh so many reasons but the tip of the iceberg was... My ex wouldn't work so when I would go to work and leave him with our daugher I figured she was safe... ha ha... i would come home and she hadn't been fed or changed all day needless to say I immediately found a baby sitter.

Carol - posted on 12/01/2009

I too, am a divorcee. The reason also like many other woman here, was of the abuse. There was no respect and we did not put the Lord in our relationship. We were both selfish. I married him when I was 18 and we had a son (Noel). We had our days. We both loved each other but not the right kind of love. We became jealous of each other the more and more we started to separate and have friends of our own. He didn't realize what the needs of a family was/is. He listened to his friends and not to God or his own heart. He wanted to please his friends and not his family. I was left out in the dark and in worry. I tried for years to make the marriage work for our son. He was a good father, but never really got anywhere with it. He spent time with him, but never respected me. My son needed to see that the parents are to respect each other. Their was no more love for his family towards the end. He wanted to do his own thing. He felt he missed out on a life. He was not ready for family. He then realized what a mistake he made after we left ( My son and I) I couldn't take the jealous rage nor the physical and mental abuse anymore, I was afraid the older my son got he would take on that trait, seeing his father disrespect his mother and abuse her. I got out when my son was 14 months old. Just in time to give him (Noel) the life he deserves. He (my Ex) still doesn't realize that his son is suppose to be the most important thing in his life - next to God. My son and I and are better off.
Bless you all and your family's and remember to keep the Lord on top of everything and trust in the Lord with everything!

KENDRA - posted on 11/30/2009

I JUST WANT TO THANK EVERYONE OF YOU. IT HELPS OTHER TO HEAR THEY ARE NOT ALONE. EVERYTIME I READ ONE OF YOUR WRITE IT HELP ME KNOW ,I WAS NOT CRAZY. I HAD REAL FEELING THINK YOU.

KENDRA - posted on 11/30/2009

WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! THAT IS ALL! BUT I UNDERSTAND.

Salina - posted on 11/30/2009

Well i found out when i was 6wks with my second child that he cheated on me when pregnant with my first (oh and she was 17 a highschooler)then again with this pregnancy at 6weeks (after we found out) he cheated on me again! Then at 8 weeks with the second he moved out and got back togeter with the first chick he cheated on me with who is now 19 he is now 26 and i am 24. He was also mentally abusive and it got physically abusive while i was pregnant, He was very controlling and ignored my our daughter. the only time he paid attention to me was when he wanted food or sex so the cheating was the last straw he even lied to our pastor about his infedelities while we were getting marriage counceling

Raechel - posted on 11/29/2009

My ex had what I call 'China Doll Syndrome'. He saw what he wanted, got it, then put it up for everyone to see, and forgot about it! After our first year, he began ignoring me, little to no physical contact, and controling everything I did. I wasn't allowed to go out of the appartment without him, or to drive my car anywhere without him. He didn't even want my parents coming over. We had to work together, because he didn't trust anyone at my old job, and if I had any friends they couldn't be guys. I was completely naieve, and stupidly stayed married to him almost five years. I knew he was cheeting, but couldn't prove anything. Thankfully we had no children together. I let loose my wild teenage inner child after we separated, got drunk, then got pregnant. Stayed a single mom for five years, and swore off men....then hooked up with my now husband who is awesome! We will celebrate three years in January.

Dawn - posted on 11/24/2009

I really dont know why we are getting a divorce , i gave birth to his son last year that was our 4 child and the day after his dad died, then i got really sick from ppd and ended up in the hospital for almost 4 months then when i got out he told me he didnt want me to live there anymore and that he didnt love me or care for me anymore and he wanted a divorce and he wanted custody of all 4 kids. i dont understand what i did wrong,we were together for 16years , he told his friends that i was a bad mother ,but i went to the hosptal to get better for my kids i had ppd with all my kids and suffered sever depression in between but i got better for my family ,i guess it wasnt good enough atleast i tried, i just wish i could turn my feelings off for him like he did me , i dont understand how i can still love him after all the verbal emotional and metal abuse he put me through last year, but thats the past and i need to look for a brighter future :)

Kelli - posted on 11/23/2009

My exhusband refused to financially support our family. I worked six days a week and lived in his mothers house while he hung out with our daughter-had enough of that,when my daughter was four we divorced. She is going on 13 now and he still lives with mommy!!

Misty - posted on 11/22/2009

my first marriage ended because of major drug use, needles, stealing, lying, taking bill money, even took kids christmas gifts, unwrapped them and returned them to buy drugs. He pushed me around, smacked a couple times, but put me through a bathroom door.. I tried rehab for him, I wanted us to talk to someone, he refused. We have four kids! We would break up about every 1 1/2, for a month or so, then back together. We were married nearly 9 yrs, together for 13... He hide the drugs from me, the changes he was going through I thought was growing up together, but it was him changing from drugs... I'm on my second marriage, we have had a hard road too. But nothing like the first marriage, no abuse or drugs, just hard times.... We love each other very much and in the end that will carry us through im sure

Christy - posted on 11/22/2009

well, marriage one ended because my ex had 5 kids with 5 different women in the 5 years we were married. None with me. I miscarried our child. Marriage 2 ended because ex is a drug addict, abuser, and also started a family with someone else while we were married. Its been a tough road but it has made me strong.

April - posted on 11/21/2009

We were married when I was 19 years old. We were married almost 12 years. we had three children together during that time. He cheated and cheated and cheated. I forgave and couldnt forget... I tried.... but couldnt. After counseling and trying for almost a year I called it quits. Everyone has their breaking points. Some are more than others.... I am now where I want to be. I am with someone I trust and care a lot about and dont worry about where he is or what hes doing. This is how it should be

LeAnn - posted on 11/20/2009

The lying, cheating, selfishness.....does it matter? If I remind myself of those things with him it makes me bitter and I have to deal-for the kids!

LeAnn - posted on 11/20/2009

Wow....Well, we grew apart. Much better friends now. He is a great guy and a good dad but we just couldn't make it. I was lonely-even with him lying, sitting, standing right next to me. I told the kids I was too young when we got married and mommy changed her mind. I thought I wanted the same things out of life daddy did but really discovered I don't anymore. I can't hold daddy back and not going to ask daddy to wait til I'm on track. For me why doesn't matter, it is. The kids are happy, he is happy and I am happy!

Ashley - posted on 11/18/2009

3 affairs!

Julianna - posted on 11/15/2009

my husband was an violent alcoholic who cheated on me. I should have divorced him sooner.

Gina - posted on 11/13/2009

WELL ME AND MY EX HUSBAND DIVORCED NUMBER ONE BECAUSE HE WAS MORE WORRIED ABOUT BUYING THINGS FOR HIMSELF THAN OUR SON ONE TIME HE WENT AND BOUGHT A 100 DOLLER PAIR OF SHOES WHEN MY BABY NEEDED DIAPERSAND FORMULA AND RUNNING LOW ON MONEY SECOND HE CHEATED ON ME ON MOTHERS DAY AND OUR ANNIVERSARY WE DIDNT LOVE EACHOTHER WE MARRIED FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS HE WAS ABUSIVE TWORDS MY AT THE TIME 3 MONTH OLD AND THER WAS NO COMMUNICATION EVEN NOW MAJOR ALCOHOLIC AND HE GOT INTO METH SO IT WAS ALL AND ALL A BAD SITUATION

Eloisa - posted on 11/13/2009

me and my Ex husband got divorced cuz we didn't see eye to eye on anything.. I was always stuck at home with the kids while he would go out and drink with his buddies.. we tried to make it work but I got tired of him not putting in his half into the relationship.. I wasn't the perfect wife but I was a good wife.. I still have much love for him and I know he does as well but we just don't get along living together and my main concern are my 2 boys.. if its meant to be it will happen I guess.. just don't know how to be single

Marcie - posted on 11/11/2009

My husband would not keep a job to help financially and I was drowning in debt and about to lose the house. But the biggest reason was because he neglected my daughter when left in his care while I was at work to the point I had to get a babysitter to watch her instead. If I was going to take care of everything by myself, I was going to be by myself. I'm much much better off, and my daughter definately is.

Dara - posted on 11/10/2009

my exhusband got into cocaine unfortunately and his alcohol was getting a little out of control, I tried everything I could to get him help and when he did try he failed and so did we..I couldnt subject my kids to it any longer and so I felt it was the right decision. He too felt the same so we got a dissolution of marriage.. A few months later I also found out through a few sources that he was cheating so, needless to say it was the best decisiin I ever made, we were too toxic for each other

Michelle - posted on 11/08/2009

because my husband molested my daughter and took pics of her through the bathroom window... this all happened when she was 12 and i just found out. she is 17 now and i have 2 more lil girls with him and one one the way!! he is now facing up to 15 years prison!!

Melissa - posted on 11/07/2009

I have been divorced for almost 4 years. I left my daughters dad when she was 6 months old. He was very controlling and hit me alot. I went through 3 miscarriages, and that was probably why. I would probably still be married to him if he did not do those things. I got out for the baby. She did not ever need to see me in that kind of situation.

Carol - posted on 11/05/2009

Wow Cheri! You and I must have married the same man! :~)

Veronica - posted on 11/04/2009

Alcoholism, meth addict, and cheating. He actually walked out on me and the kids. He went to work and never came home. I didn't hear from him till a month later with his new girlfriend who is also a meth addict. I just assumed he was arrested again. Finally after 2 years we are divorced. I am glad he walked out on us, I could of never left myself. We are much happier now :)

Susan - posted on 10/31/2009

Years of mental and verbal abuse, I stayed too long. I can say I am getting stronger each day, he beat me down pretty good but he has no control over me and he is learning this hte hard way as he still tries to do it.

His gf moved in not long after I left with our son.......she's now going thru what I did.......so all the years he blamed me..........now everyone can see just WHO the problem is.........he needs counseling and meds big time!

Christy - posted on 10/31/2009

His Alcoholism and cheating

Marlaina - posted on 10/30/2009

I divorced my first husband because he cheated (over & over). Also, he couldn't keep a job, straight out LAZY!!! I thought I could change him, but after 4 short years of marriage, I could not take anymore. But, believe it or not, we get along better now than when we were married.

KENDRA - posted on 10/28/2009

WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! THAT IS CRAZY! PLEASE DO NOT GET ME WORNG BUT SHE YOUR SISTER FORGET HER AND HIM. JUST LIKE GOD FORGET US! FORGET THEM FOR YOU! BUT I UNDERSTAND!

Kelli - posted on 10/28/2009

i got divorced because my (x)husband refused to support our family- i worked 6 days a week while he was self employed and we llived with his mother, May also be because he is a habitual liar and drank often-yadda yadda yadda Not the same goals in life.

Terri - posted on 10/27/2009

The reason I divorced is because my ex decided that he "liked" my TWIN sister better! My dad caught them in the act and I was pregnant with my daughter. I can honestly say that I have been HAPPILY divorced for almost 10 yrs from him. He reminds me everyday why we are divorced!!!!! If anyone ask, I don't have a relationship with my sister.

KENDRA - posted on 10/25/2009

I HAVE NEVER SAID ANYTHING BAD ABOUT THERE DAD. YES ACTION SAY EVERYTHING BUT HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH YOUR HURTS. IF YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPEN IF YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT YOUR TURE FEELING.

KENDRA - posted on 10/25/2009

i understand at !