what do do when your exhusband lies about everything

Minda - posted on 02/23/2010 ( 62 moms have responded )

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i have two kids 7 and 10 i have always taken care of them ther my world my marrige however was horrible my ex is such a jerk and i could go all day on the things hes done to me and the kids when we got divorced he left the state and moved back to be with his parents and then when he found out i was seeing someone else he immeaditly files for custody and then we had to go back to court and the judge was an ass and he listened to all his lies and didnt even give me a chance to talk and he got custody ... if anyone has been through this and can help please im all ears ive askes about filing for a motion to change custody back and they say it cant be done for two years and then i ask abt changing the judge and i guess that cant be done either hes not letting me talk to them and he dosent answer me calls i maybe get to talk once a week.. please help me me babies need to be back with me

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Jennifer - posted on 03/25/2010

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My divorce, like all the rest, was a complete nightmare. My ex-husband filed an injunction and my kids were taken from me as well. The court doesn't play around with allegations of violence and unfortuantely you are guilty until proven innocent in such cases. It took 6 months for a judge to hear our case, after which it was thrown out of court. Unfortunately things did not go back to 'normal' and the damage was done. Because I had been out of the home for so long, I was deemed to be 'the other parent' and was left fighting for everything. I had no job, no home, no car and had to prove I could be a parent. Before all this happened, I was the PTA mom who was at every school function and field trip, always volunteering, reading to my kids every night and sitting with them to complete all their homework. It amazes me how things can turn around in instant because people become fearful and filled with hatred when they are hurting. In the end, after a two year battle, we agreed to share our kids 50/50. This June will mark five years since the separation and three since my divorce was finalized. It sucks when you are without your kids but if you stand strong and focus on what is truly best for your kids you can make it through this. Try not to react to anything when you are emotionally charged and try as hard as you can to make your decisions on what's best for your children as opposed to how you can get even with their dad, no matter how deeply you are hurting.

Ellen - posted on 03/03/2010

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"The first mistake most of us make, is thinking that our court system is a fair one. It comes down to who has the most money for the best lawyer,and how down and dirty they can get" I lost my kids to my lying cheating ex who left for another woman and brainwashed the kids to want to live with him so he wouldn't have to pay me child support. The system was incredibly unfair throughout my whole ordeal. You need to stay strong and keep fighting. Do not ever give up on your kids. Do whatever it takes to be a part of their lives. One day they will see the truth.

Katie - posted on 03/25/2010

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Although I have been through some similar situations and different ones at that, I will give you the same advice that I received and learned while my husband and I have been going through custody battles over my step-kids. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!! I'm not understanding why you are being denied an appeal to your order, unless you've run out of time. And I do not know what state you are from but here in Missouri, we do not have a time restriction on Motions to Modify. Your order can be 60 days old and if you can prove that there have been some significant and continuing changes to the order then you can start another Motion to Modify case.

You need to be your biggest ally and your own private investigator. Start a journal and write in it daily. Talk about everything in it. How you're feeling about the change of custody, your contact with your kids, how your life is changing, how your ex treats you, I MEAN EVERYTHING. Do not journal through a computer, write it out by hand. There is less of a chance that your ex can try to say it's been manipulated.

Follow your order to the T. Keep in contact with your children on a CONSISTENT and continuous basis. If you can, call at least every night. I know this might get frustrating especially if your ex continues to hang up on you or deny your contact but KEEP CALLING. Keep all of your phone records. These are key to showing and proving the amount of phone contact you are having and being allowed to have with your kids.

Write them notes, letters, postcards and everything you send them, keep documentation of what you sent by keeping photocopies and pictures of what you send. If you can email, do so and keep copies. Oh and date everything you send. Anything that's sent back to you, keep it and photograph it for back up.

If you have joint legal custody, make sure you know what doctors your children see and get copies of their health records periodically. If they see a mental health professional, get copies of their progress notes and if it's possible try to be involved as much as allowed in the therapy. Get copies of their report cards and progress notes from their teachers. Request parent-teacher conferences to stay in the loop on how they are doing in school. Request the teacher to send you monthly updates for the in between times when there's no parent-teacher conferences available.

Exercise EVERY SINGLE visit that you are allowed. Do not miss ANY at all if you can. Do this not only to savor every moment you get with your children but so that there is never a single opportunity for ANYONE to say that you are not involved with your kids.

When you do decide to go back to court, request to have a Guardian ad Litem (aka GAL) added to the case. This is an extra expense for you (and he will HAVE to help pay for the Guardian ad Litem) but it is a valuable tool. A Guardian ad Litem is an attorney that is ordered to specifically represent the children and their interests. Your attorney will be able to let you know how to be able to get one appointed because some states only allow one to be added to a case if their are allegations of abuse and mistreatment.

Also, if your ex continues to try to deny your contact with your kids, tries to brainwash them into not wanting to have contact with you, etc check into your states laws on Parental Alienation Syndrome or also known as PAS. Check this website out for an explanation of PAS: http://www.parentalalienation.com/articl... .

I wish you the best. I know how hard things can get. My DH and I have been going through court over my ss for the last 3 years and 2 years over my sd. If you ever need anyone to talk to send me a line, good luck.

Tori - posted on 02/24/2010

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Its sad but usually its said the best lier wins. I know this to well. Im about truth which is why I've lost so much in my life. Men are very convinceing story tellers and damn good at it. Women speak from the heart and we lose to a judge that has no compassion for truth. Just stay in your childerns lives and as they grow up and able to make their own way they will come back to you. Trust me, I know it hurts right now, but in time your childeren will be back in you life then you can build a stonger relationship with them. Just hold on and be strong and patient. Just be in their life as much as possible. Best wishes

Nicola - posted on 11/16/2012

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Hmm that's awful!

I have had first hand experience of how the court system works. My ex husband also made up rediculous lies aswel and even convinced a social worker that I was an unfit mother. I maintain primary custody and my ex husbands have some care aswel, but only because the magistrate insisted that the accusations be proven.



If I could offer a suggestion? Get a lawyer!

Court is emotionally intense, magistrates see so many cases a day. If I could relate being a judge to anything a magistrates job is like being a parent to annoying sqwabbling children. They want to follow the rules and base they're decision on facts. If facts arnt evident they will either make a decision or with a lawyers suggestion, request an order for investigation to find the proof.



Luckily I got a lawyer who requested to the magistrate to make these investigation orders. An independent children's lawyer was also assigned to my exhusbands court case against me which helped to avoid any bias opinions.



I would have lost my children if i wasn't given the chance to prove myself innocent.



It's really tough out there! I wish you all the best

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Aiysha - posted 5 days ago

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I am going through a horrid situation with my husband. He is the "disneyland" dad who does minimal parenting. Undermines my parenting continually. He has been this way since the children were little and has become significantly worse. My 17-yr old daughter and 16-yr old son have become vicious toward me and he just stands there grinning or records me getting upset with them. My 11-yr old son tells me that he has been recording me again. My 16-yr old son accused me of putting scratches on him - when I questioned him - he could n't remember when I did it - but that I did it. My younger son told me that the older 2 lie about me hurting them and that my older son recently said that I tried to choke him and hit him with a toy gun. I feel like Im being set up - what in the world do I do?

Aiysha - posted 5 days ago

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What are suggestions in dealing with a passive aggressive pathological liar of a husband who is an attorney and is turning your kids against you so they are actually lying about you. He has conducted fraudulent behavior. He threatens you financially. And you are a stay at home mom.

Mom - posted on 10/31/2014

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Hi Karen, I was wondering what State you live in? and if you don't mind sharing the outcome....I truly had a lump in my throat reading your story, I am going through similar circumstances and feel so lost, depressed and so so sad

Karen - posted on 09/26/2014

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It is sad, but nice to know that other moms are going through similar fights I am going through. I know i am not a psychologist, but my ex husband has all the signs of an aggressive narcisst/ sociopath. I have been living a nightmare since 2009. Long story short, he physically, verbally and psychologicaly abused me when I was with him (1 year before I got pregnant/married and 9 months pregnant and 1 year and 3 months married- all hell). The physcial abuse came 15 days after I gave birth. I was scared to death to leave cause i thought he would kill me or take my baby from me (which he constantly threatened to do- cause his family has money and he was telling everyone i had a drinking problem and psychological problems- which i dont to both). I left and took my daughter and was living on my own since March 2012. He was still seeing our daughter regularly and still verbally/pshycholgically abusing me. I was always worried about my daughter being with him cause he is evil, but i knew he was her dad and had no choice. She had no bruises etc. I never filed for divorce because he begged me not to so he can stay on my health insurance. I did not want to make him angry so i let him. Then a few days before Thanksgiving, Nov- 2013... he hits me with a temporary custody order saying my daughter was unsafe with me cause he said i tried to pick her up in Sept intoxicated! Our next court date was in Jan 2014. We had many court dates since and he got arrested for harrasement of me and child endangerment charges in between- he got them both dropped due to lies.. long story... EVEN THOUGH I HAVE A RECORDING OF THE INCIDENT- He dropped the custody case and we came up with a parenting plan. I was so relieved it was over... then 2 weeks later my 3.5 year old tells me her dad is molesting her! The most saddest hardest moment of my life. Now i am in the middle of a "fact finding" case with child services in which they treat me like the criminal cause they think i am lying cause he filed the custody case against me and treat him like father of the year. VERY HARD. I am so worried about my daughter who they tell me will be going back with him eventually cause they cannot take her word since she is under 6! I will never sleep again. I stare at my daughter while she sleeps and just keep thinking HOW can they give her back to him! The courts and system is NOT fair.. I pray every single day that God will help her. She is the most sweetest beautiful little girl in the world and i have to hand her back to this lying animal. Its destroying me.

Vickie - posted on 08/17/2014

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Just went threw this my ex husband can afford a attorney I can't I have a Special needs baby with my husband now .My 17 year old daughter left because I told her she couldn't go to her boyfriends mom's house any more the mom's boyfriend is a sex offender she blew up and left .my ex husband took Me to court for child support and custody .I had all kind of documentation and where he is an abuser and he got her .I'm so mad I could scream

Praew - posted on 07/08/2014

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Hi everyone I have been fighting with my ex husband to seeing my son and full custody after I left his house and my ex mother in law took my son away from my arm in that night kept him in her room and told me to go away after she shut the door it took me for more than 2 years now still didn't get any where and everything thing it seem to be on his side include cafcass report and he fretting me that he going to kill me before he was rape me nearly hit me and him or his step son from his previous married did the arson to my new partners parents and it's seem to be I haven't got enough evidences and the police didn't seem to interesting I'm now end up with living with fear all the time maybe because I'm thai is it that why I'm going to lose my son ? If anybody can help Me or give me some advice I would be really thankful I can not afford for a solicitor anymore I feel like I'm banging my head into the brick wall I'm so scared I don't know what is next could happen to me or I have to wait until the police found me death then they will start to interesting about my cases I'm so sad and so upset

Mardi - posted on 01/08/2014

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any chance you and your fella could move next door to your ex, or along the kids path to school........there is always more than one way to skin a cat, even a stinky one.

Rhianna - posted on 09/15/2013

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thats what why you divorced him hes a dirt bag hoever in order to get your kids back you have to play even more dirty then him and do what ever it takes and keep on him like a nun on a bible or you will loose i am sorry to say our systen=m is backwards and judges are as cheap as a pack of gum and when it is over no one cares what happenes to you and your kids but you.
http://www.care2.com/news/go/1216804

Kathy - posted on 12/04/2012

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omg i am going threw the same thing!!!! i left my ex almost 4 years ago and when he had our children for fathers day weekend he filed emergency custody papers. then 10 days later we went to court only for the judge to grant him primary custody. one because i left the state and two he had two children from his first marriage and the judge did not want to split the kids up. our youngest child was 3 when all this happened, so while i was able to be a stay at home mom still the judge still found it fit for him to be with his father and that ment spending his days with a stranger. for the past 4 years i have been doing nothing but try to hold it together. what has happened is crazy. i was not found unfit and i have a clean record no reason at all to lose primary custody of our children or so i thought. the last time we went to court the judge told me, when i asked what i had to do to get primary custody and stop all this, his answer was its like baby steps after a while and after he gets in enough trouble things will change. i just cant believe my ex is doing this! keep faith, and know that in the end the truth will be set free. stay strong and on the right path for your children so when they do need you you will be there with open arms and a stable home.

Ivette - posted on 10/15/2012

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The nightmare of the dreaded ex husband I have been in a horrible nightmare. In 2003 I was raped by my ex husband he threatend my life and told me that he would kill me. through 2006 to current. Stupidly I dropped the charges of the rape because A i was afraid and B he was the father of my now 11 year old girl. Every womans story is different but we all have experienced so much BS.. Now Mr. Man has gotten a high priced attorney who is after my blood.

Ive drained my 401 K on legal fees and living since I lost my job, Now comes the false restraining order that was placed on me saying that i beat up his pregnant wife. Well guess what that is a felony. I prooved my inocence and magically deliciously his attorney dropped the restraining order. but is now asking me to pay 2600 in her attorney fees on some disclosure of evidence bullcrap. Final thing I find out that on top of alll of this .. forget the money he is hitting my little girl . I had contacted the police because she told me he hits her with a belt, he said to take pictures .. the money is nothing its the baby my little one .. I would give him all the blood in body to keep my baby safe and to stop his dam lies .. then the funny part are you ready.

So My Ex Husband asks me Lets go to church together and spend some quality time .I am church going but I will never ever ever ever ever no its not a typo ever go to church with him .. .







In what universe is this going to happen cause it sure will not happen in this one .

Good luck to all you ladies stay strong and remember they might have more money to support their lies .. but as i have read on some of your replies . gather as much evidence and hopefully you will get a judge that will listen .. and FYI this all started with a restraining order back in 2003

if you are considering getting one rethink i know that sometimes they work and that is great but other times it causes more harm ..

Leona - posted on 10/03/2012

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I know exactly how you feel Im in the same situation, my ex and his new wife do the same thing to me all the time, its my word against theirs. The best thing I can tell you is document everything, if you try to make a phone call record it, if you text him save that text do not delete it, send the text msgs to your email and then print them out, thats what I did. If he ignores your calls at least you have proof on your phone that you are trying to reachout to your children. My ex husbands new wife will not even let me call the house to speak to my children, because she said I was harrassing her, every phone call I made there I recorded it. I document everything, and record everything, I have every saved text msg because my ex husband has violated the court order, and I filed a petition for violation against him now all of it will be going in front of the judge, but its been a very long drawn out custody battle I have had to wait a very long time for it to be heard by the judge, and hopefully when it does things will change. I hope everything works out for you the same, good luck to you

Chasity - posted on 10/02/2012

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Ty and iam praying also ,it seems that the courts has alot of corruption in the system ,some needs to be done , when you have no money left ,and your saving are gone cause of what dirty system is allow and no lawyers want to go up against dirty Judges ,that what im comming up against ....

Chasity - posted on 09/29/2012

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How do u have this done the judge and lawyer investigate cause im going through a nasty custody battle and have retained custody the past six yrs and and in june 2012 Va courts denied his false allg and told him he wasnt getting custody and two months latter he files in NC and gets Temp custody with the false allg ,and i had proof that they wasnt true ,but the Judge didnt take the time to read all of my evidence ,and ive been truned down by 5 lawyers telling me this is a nasty ,bad case that i need a high end lawyer

Elisha - posted on 07/10/2012

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Been there, unfortunately. Do you have evidence of his lies??? I would ask for another judge as well. Is the order a temporary one or a final one?? In my state, you have to go through mediation before you get a final order. If your lawyer isn't doing anything that is fixing it, I would go to another lawyer. Believe me, if I can't fix this jacked up sitation with my ex, I'll go as high up the chain as I have to for my babies well being. But I'm still fighting it right now. My ex only wanted every other weekend with my girls until I filed for child support, because he wasn't paying what he'd said he would, and when he found out that he was supposed to be paying me 1700 a month, he hired a lawyer and fought for shared custody. His lawyer told the judge I reduced his visitation because I wanted higher child support, and the judge believed her. It's a completely unfair, jacked up system, but don't stop fighting. Provide proof. And I'm praying for ALL OF YOU who are fighting the same fight I am.

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You can ask for a change in your judge....this should be step 1. Then find out specific reasons why they ruled in his tabor collect paperwork & prove with documentation he was lying. Then pray for your ex...prayer will work & you will c the tides change in your favorter as soon as your prayers are sincere. Believe me Ive been through it.

Sara - posted on 05/24/2012

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my ex partner is doing the same i havent seen my kids in 2yrs its killing me inside i want to see them but him and his new wife making it difficult for me they have told the courts so many lies all my family are backing me up but nothing seems to be working im going to a lawyer but for some reason they not helping me much either i dont know what to do any suggestions please.

Suzanne - posted on 04/17/2012

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I am so sorry this happened to you, I understand, I just got my 10 year old daughter back after two years! Your children need there mother!!! Your situation seems a little better than mine meaning you should not have to wait that long. The courts want to see a change in your life. No boyfriend, good living environment, etc...Also he cannot keep them from calling you! My ex did that too and I looked up the FOC hand book to read the rules. I hope you can prove your living environment is better than his. The FOC will probably talk to your children because they are old enough. Your ex is abusing your childen by not letting them call you etc...The courts need to know that. If you can some how prove anything do it! Witnesses, texts, facebook, and a calender. Thats what I did but I started that after 8 months when I finally got my weekends with her. I pray you and your children will be ok very soon!

God Bless!!

User - posted on 04/14/2012

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same thing happen to me, I see the post is old I hop is has gotten better, I have learned to fight like ever and try to learn as much as you can about the law, tape record your calls document and video tape, and find a lawyer who is honest.

Colleen - posted on 04/01/2010

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First of all, get a new lawyer and second, report the judge for not making it a fair hearing. You also didn't say if you weren't allowed phone privilages, so my suggestion is start keeping a log of all the things that he is preventing you from doing that was not ordered as judgement. You are entitled to file an appeal, because it sounds like he didn't have hard evidence to prove that you were an unfit mother. Most of all stay strong and pray for guidance.

Quatia - posted on 03/31/2010

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I saw this topic headline and all I can say is "When you find out the answer, let ME know!"

Crystal - posted on 03/30/2010

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It sounds like you need to speak with the Attorney Generals Office to seek assistance on getting visitation and see about what steps you can take toward getting custody. In San Antonio, Texas we have a Domestic Relations Office with workd with out AGO. And our AGO helps you obtain legal forms, visitation letters and logs, and other tools to help prove whether or not you are getting to see or talk to your children as the court order says. You may also wish to speak with your state bar concerning the judge. You might want to see your local law library to see what your rights are and how long you have to appeal as well as go back to court to seek custody again. I hope some of this helps you. Good Luck

Amanda - posted on 03/29/2010

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Im sorry you are going through that. I recently have dealt with visitation issues with my ex where he sued me and lied in court, and the judge believed him. I had no idea that whoever sues first has such a huge advantage. I was passi ve and now learned to be proactive. Keep fighting to see them and if need be get a court ordered attorney. Goodluck and remember that we all have to face God someday and know that everyone will be dealt with for their actions when we meet God.

KAKI - posted on 03/29/2010

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Katie Johnson--

The website you've provided is EXTREMELY enlightening. So many of us physically and/or psychologically abused women know that "something" is wrong or not quite right, but we can't name it or put our finger on it. The re-distribution of valuable information such as this website, and the simple and direct suggestions in the rest of your reply, are PRICELESS to the desperate women that are seeking ANY form of help, and not just similar stories of peril. I certainly don't mean to say that anyone's situation is not worthy of being heard, but in my own situation I needed help and direction more than the assurance that there were "others out there just like me." That made me feel worse about my situation, rather than giving me hope or encouragement. I compliment and thank you for this reply. In addition I would like to recommend a direct and very well written book that was also very instrumental in opening my eyes and allowing me to begin to organize the tumultuous jumble that was encompassing and destroying my..... me.

"The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to recognize it and how to respond." Author: Patricia Evans

I hope that any of you who suspect that you may be in a relationship with someone that is emotionally and/or verbally abusive, and/or blatantly taking advantage of your sympathy toward them, will order this book. Many times over this book has been congruent with custody and divorce issues. Have it sent to your work address, your mother's house, etc. Almost ALL counselors carry it, and if you can't buy it for fear of one thing or another, then go to the public library or Barnes and Nobles and sit in the isle floor and read it! This book is a BOMBSHELL and will help you begin to re-connect with reality and LIFE.

Please read a review of the book here.

http://www.cyberparent.com/books-audios-...

If I were a rich woman, I would buy one copy for every girl of every age! I hope my son never thinks it's ok to treat women the way his father treated me, and I hope my daughter never thinks it's ok to let a man treat her the way her father treated me. The only one that can help me is me, and the only one that can help you is you.
I wish us all success- Kaki Darling

Jana - posted on 03/27/2010

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Rule of thumb-Document, document, document. find out what the laws are regarding taping another party in your state and if they allow tape him. Show up at ALL court sppointed visitation times if any. If he refuses, call th epolice and ask for an interference with custody report. Write the children letter too. Send them confirmation delivery to prove he got them. Rememebr he will read them. Hire an attorney and take it back to court.

Jeannette - posted on 03/26/2010

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Oh yeah, I hear you. My ex husband and I have 3 kids; now ages 22, 19 and 14; almost 6 years ago, we divorced. Mentally, physically and financially I could not ask for custody unfortunately. All I wanted was out of the marriage. Sad to say, the oldest two did not acknowledge me for the first two years because their dad said some untrue things. I'm not going to go into how much I hurt those two years. Thankfully, as he put it, our youngest 'did not know what her mother did' so I got to see her weekly. We all lived in the same town. When I'd see the older two, they'd look away. When I saw the youngest with her dad, she acted embarrassed by me. Long story short: all 3 now talk to me and come visit me. Do not deny to yourself how it hurts. Write a note and give holiday/birthday gifts as needed (even if they are sent back, as mine were) and if you live in the same town as I did, say hi to them.Above all, DO NOT GIVE UP. YOUR KIDS NEED TO KNOW YOU LOVE THEM. This does not mean you should make derogatory remarks about their dad to them either. Be there in whatever way you can FOR THEM.

Angelica - posted on 03/25/2010

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i had the same problem with my ex husband. Always lieing and i couldn't trust him. He went on a so called trip AZ and wouldn't take me with him. But he ended up moving in with his parents and filed for divorce. His mom tried to get custody of her and luckily he didn't want her, he just wanted his "stuff". So I think for you, you'd have to prove that he isn't fit to be a good parent since he somehow got custody. I'm sorry to hear that, especially since your kids are older. Are your kids happy where they are? That would be another thing that comes into place since your kids are older.

Nancy - posted on 03/25/2010

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My husband had a nasty pill habit the whole time we were married which is going on 8 years. He kicks me and my two children out of our house which is two hours away from my parents and I dont drive because my mother sent me money to buy my children food and he was unable to get it to buy drugs with. Then when I refuse to come back he throws everything we own in the trash. Fast forward almost 3 years later... he has a girlfriend who treats my kids like crap.. I am pregnant with someone elses child and he hits me in the stomach with a car door the weekend before Christmas .. because I didnt go directly to the hospital (because his 5 yr old son is screaming and his 3 year old wet himself due to them not letting him have a bathroom break for 2 hours) the courts denied me a restraining order and talked to me like I was the worst person in the world.. nevermind the fact he has a really good job and is out buying new clothes, shoes, computers, etc but wont pay me 200.00 a month to help support his children. Then tells the judge I never let him see his children.. (I lie and say Im going out of town to get him to visit them, or I PAY HIM to come visit them) I call him to get him to call his children, I email him asking him to pay attention to them.. its heartbreaking to watch my 5 year old see his father ignore him ... he wont pay his child support on months when there is a holiday (Including birthdays) Because he thinks it will make me unable to afford to get the children anything. He will buy my oldest son something for Christmas and leave the youngest with nothing. I'm so afraid to go back in front of the judge we went in front of for child support and the restraining order for custody because clearly the man hates me I had to listen to my husband, the judge , and the county attorney have a 30 minute convo about being from the same hometown... Then the second time around my husband, his girlfriend, and the judge had a discussion about how I'm a bad parent and how my husband needs to divorce me. when all I was doing was trying to make sure my unborn child is protected and my two other children are taken care of.

Lisa - posted on 03/24/2010

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I have the same problem girl. I raised my children he didn't. I was a stay at home mom. Shoot when we got divorced he married his first cousin, yep I said it his first cousin. She is meaner than he is. I had custody and was recieving 2,000 dollars of his money, 500 of it was alimony, well he was 14,000 behind in alimony. Well he convinced my 2 oldest that life would be so much better with him. He knew he couldn't take the kids away from cause I was a very good mom. So what does he do, he tells lies in court and has my kids do all sorts of things that were bad. I have was ordered to pay childsupport and I had been laid off my job, and I had a herniated disc. The judge I do believe had to have been paid off. Cause there is know way in hell he should have gotten the kids. Shoot he was ordered to pay all the bills and he didn't he had the water cut off on his kids and my vehicle repoed and my house went into forclosure. Well I filed contempt charges twice and nothing I mean nothing. Now I know and everyone else knows he can pay a 30 dollar water bill. Shoot he was making great money and didn't have any unnecessary bills. He has been even caught in lies in court in front of the judge. And I thought all along you were suppose to tell the truth in court. I mean this has just been a joke and a nightmare. So now I don't get to hardly see my kids cause he moved 8 hours away. And with the economy the way it is today and only making little to nothing this just really bites. The man and his first cousin or wife (what ever you want to call her) needs to be just horse whipped. I do not know what I can do, I have no money for an attorney either. And I pay childsupport. I'm telling you there has to be something wrong with both are situations. If you find out anything either one of can do let me know gir. Good luck to you, I will be thinking of you

Brandy - posted on 03/19/2010

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Ladies this has just happen to me, i have lost custody of all 3 of my boys to my ex husband due to all the lies he said. i have a list of lies that range from me being a lesbian, not going to church, not wanting my kids to go to church, my mothers house being a danger to my children, and so on and so on. i completely understand what you are going through and there seems to not be a light at the end of the tunnel. but i will tell you this i have just recieved my order on march 5th 2010, to turn over all three to his care with me having visitation. i am filing a appeal through the appeals court. i have 45 days to do this from the time of the order. i have already spent 10,000 + on my lawyer and i will keep spending every dime i get. im also going to hire a PI to keep a watch on him to see if he violate anything in the new papers. please please listen to me do anything an everything you can. spend every dime you have to do what ever it takes. here is my email address if you ever need to talk, bsawyer08@yahoo.com i will help you through the best i can. im am on the move to take what ever step i need to to get mine back. my boys are 3, 5, and 7 an they need their mom!!! i will keep you in my thoughts.

Amy - posted on 03/15/2010

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I am soo worried about this happening to me... I have court April 7th. He left me to live with another woman (who he was dating) then months later I start dating which was fine as long as him and her were together. Now they are broken up and he's filed for custody and saying that the marriage ended because of my adultry. I think he doesn't realize I have emails from his other woman stating they had sex :) sooo that should help as should the fact he only recently started paying stuff. I am trying to contact my brother to see if he can send a notorized letter stating that he saw her bring him home late from work when he was staying with us and all the stuff her saw. I'm also trying to contact the apartment complex he lived at with her. Hopefully it will work out. I just worry he'll lie lie lie and they'll believe him... I am hoping however that my lawyer rips him a new one!

Michelle - posted on 03/11/2010

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Life is about taking risks and never giving up hope, no matter how lost you are, everyone eventually finds their own way.

Ellen - posted on 03/11/2010

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How long did it take for his lies to catch up to him? Court proceedings for me are over, except for child support which he sued me for and I refuse to pay him and he keeps threatening to send me to jail for, even though he illegally claimed the kids on his tax returns, took everything we worked for our 20 years together and left me with nothing but a ton of debt that I cannot pay and he makes twice what I make, and even took the kids only so he would not have to pay me child support. He does not take care of the kids now and never has. So I am trying to be patient waiting for his lies and manipulations to catch up to him, but I don't see that happening.

Danielle - posted on 03/10/2010

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do what i did and wait for it to cathc up with him.. it is funny i skipped out of court today cause all his lies caught up and the judge gave him a new butthole. if i could i would u tube it.

Minda - posted on 03/01/2010

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to angie bair-allen i want to play hard ball but im such a passive person its hard for me to be mean and hes so good at putting the yes mam face on for the judge i cant believe he bought that crap and ive talked to two other attorneys and they both said that once its been ruled on it cant be opened for two years?? so im at a loss of what to do i need some help and i cant find anyone to help ......... and to malissa f your so right hes always been about controling everything and he even does it to the kids but he wont let them talk on the phone long enough to say anything about it as soon as they start to talk about it he hangs up so idk what my next step should be from here i appericate all your guys or should i say girls support

Angie - posted on 02/28/2010

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My ex tried the same thing. I didn't lose my kids but he put us through a year and of half of hell, And all he got was his child support lowered and cost me $5000. The first mistake most of us make, is thinking that our court system is a fair one. It comes down to who has the most money for the best lawyer,and how down and dirty they can get. They talk a good game but when it comes down to it, it all comes down to money! Ask around, find an attorney that will step up to the plate. DON'T GIVE UP! Cover your ass and document everything,even if it seems small. Did the court appoint an guardian ad litem? If not they should have. When you find a good attorney he should be able to get a new hearing. Find out the relationship between the judge and your ex or his attorney that can make a difference. Men can be pigs! He was willing to leave the state without them to begin with. Just because you moved on doesn't make you an unfit mother. Get a copy of the court transcripts, write letters to your senator and congressmen and include copies of these transcripts. Have the judge investigated. Have his attorney investigated. Play hard ball girl! Do what ever it takes! Good luck.

Malissa - posted on 02/27/2010

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alot of men can be jealous jerks! he only wanted that to take something he could still controll when it came to you. just stay strong, definetly get another lawyer and as far as i know you can file an appeal.

Michelle - posted on 02/26/2010

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It's odd that the judge didn't give you joint custody or at least visitation. Even my ex, whom I proven was mentally unfit to have custody, still gets supervised visitation. and in all parenting plans it says the parents won't prevent contact by the other parent (phone calls, letters, etc). If there is no proof of the stuff your ex was saying then you need to get a better lawyer. That's so unusual to take kids away from their mother, not even granting visitation, without some serious charges being raised. Get a second lawyer's opinion on your situation ASAP!
It must be so hard to be separated from your kids-- stay strong and don't give up. :-)

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