What to do when Adult stepkid come home and are disrespectful

Michelle - posted on 03/02/2012 ( 12 moms have responded )

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My partyners 21yr old Daughter keeps coming back to live with us and when she comes she does no housework, Doesn't displine her children and I get very frustrated, her children hit my children. This is the third time she has come to live with us. I feel like she is trying to pick a fight with me while her father is working away at a week at a time so that she has an excuse to move back into her ex because her father said to her if she ever went back to her ex who abused her he would have nothing more to do with her. I am a big hearted person who would do anything for her but something is different this time. I feel she is just using my husband and myself because dad is a coal miner she's use to the good life but doesn't want to work to have the good life. She just has to ring and give dad a sob story and oh here have some money. Maybe there's some different standards for my children as he comes done hard on them when they do something wrong 11yr olds aren't adults and are going to try to get away with things. It is interesting to watch my hubby displine his grandchildren, he'll smack them then try to make them happy again he and his daughter both do this. I mean if your going to smack then don't smack then try to be their buddy mixed signals. The daughter doesn't even play with her children, I think her kids are so bored that they will play up just to get attention. If you have been in this situation I would appreciate some advice on how to handle it so that I'm not the one being blamed for the fall out that I feel is coming

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Sydnie - posted on 04/04/2012

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That is awesome! I'm happy to hear that! I feel that it is very important for couples to take time for them. It's easy to get caught up in life and two can fall apart or grown apart, or forget why they feel in love. When my husband and I have our kids this i want us to take time for just him and i so that the candle stays lit if only once a month. again I'm happy things are better.

Michelle - posted on 04/02/2012

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Thanks Sydnie. Hubby and I went away on Holiday and we were able to reconnect which is lovely.

Sydnie - posted on 04/02/2012

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I'm sorry to red what you are going through. I hope all works out for the best. Take care of you and your boys. You deserve to be happy. Everyone does.

Michelle - posted on 03/17/2012

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Ha Melisa, I'm almost walking out the door as it is. He thinks of me as a gold digger and threaten me to move out when we have an arguement something along the long the line of if I don't like it move out and see how I like that. The argument was so stupid he keep drilling me with questions (my boys go up to Townsville this year for Laurie Spina and he was trying to convince me not to go because of cost well I said that if your at work I'll just go up by myself because I am going and I may have gotten annoyed and snapped at him. So I've made up my mind the next time he says something like that to me I will buy my own house and move out. It's tipical that he thinks I have no money of my own. He's Daughter is trying to fill his head with the rubbish that I don't love him and I'm using him for money. It is a shame because I do love him. I always had the feeling that the thought of me being a gold digger was in the background and I'm shocked that he thinks it. Coal miners must seat out at camp and think think think and do their heads in. yes he's a good provider but I'm not willing to be treated like crap so I hope when he comes home that I can sit him down and make him realise the error of his ways

Melisa - posted on 03/16/2012

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Kick her to the curb and take custody of the kids. Not rocket science. If "daddy doesn't agree", he can go right on out with her and take the entire lot of "backwoods coalminers" with him when he goes. That's my vote.

Michelle - posted on 03/05/2012

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I'm glad she's gone for your sanity Michelle. You should be enjoying the grandchildren not being the on call babysitter.



Most mothers would have been there if the children were sick, not leaving them.



You need to be the "Evil Stepmother" for a while until she grows up and takes responsibility for HER children and life.



No need to thank me, that's what this site is for. Sorry it took me so long to reply, I've been having drama's with my ex husband so have been a bit distracted.

Michelle - posted on 03/04/2012

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She's moved out. I had her sick kids from yesterday till 2pm today, I only had 5 hours sleep because the 11 month old wouldn't settle he had a fever. I got a message through to her Aunt for her to come get the kids because I felt like calling Child services, it took her half an hour to come and get them meanwhile I was trying her phone all morning and it went to a busy signal. She came in the house and wanted to argue with me so I blasted her back and told her to get her stuff and clear out. So I'm the Evil stepmum. Thanks for talking to me Michelle it's good to vent to someone

Michelle - posted on 03/03/2012

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Hopefully she'll grow up. It's hard to show tough love to our children but sometimes it's needed. If she knows that she can always come "home" when things aren't going her way she always will.

Michelle - posted on 03/03/2012

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She gave me the kids this afternoon so she could go out with her ex so she's made her decision and Jonny said when he gets home on Monday he will be kicking her out never to come back again and no more financial help she will have to fend for herself which might mean she might grow up

Michelle - posted on 03/03/2012

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Good luck Michelle.

Michelle - posted on 03/02/2012

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I have to wait untill Monday to sit down with hubby but i've kept him informed. At the moment I'm home alone because I organised for my boys to go to their dads for the weekend to get a break and she is staying with friends for a couple of days. So i'll see what Monday brings

Michelle - posted on 03/02/2012

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You and your Husband need to sit down and discuss the house rules. Just because she is 21 with her own kids it doesn't mean she can be disrespectful to you in your home.



I would also let her know that ALL the kids in the house are expected to follow the rules and if they don't there will be punishments.



You all need to be on the same page with this or the children are just going to be confused. Just because your Hubby had grandchildren doesn't mean he can't have rules that they have to follow in his house.