3 year old refuses to use the potty :( Any tips??

Valerie - posted on 09/03/2009 ( 18 moms have responded )

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My almost three year old (Oct bday) is not taking well to the whole potty training. At home she goes pee-pee sometimes and NEVER goes poop in the potty. I've tried the m&m game, underwear and no diaper, letting her run around with no diaper/underwear on and she'll just end up going on herself. I know that she'll eventually want to do it, but it's really frustrating. At school, she is the only one in her class who is not potty trained and today she came home and said one of the teachers said "only babies goes poopy in their pull-ups" which made me PISSED! I am concerned that the negative feedback she might be receiving from school will scar her. Any tips would be great!!

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Jessica - posted on 09/15/2009

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i would be mad at the teacher too....when school started this yr my daughter was not potty trained!!! she refused!!! she would tell me right after she went but would just pee in the underware or pullup that she had on...but would poop in the potty!!! go figure lol

i sent her to school the first day in underwear ( the teacher was aware of this and was ok w it...shes WONDERFULL all 3 of my daughters have had her) she has not had 1 accident since that first day of school and now goes all day w underwear and only wears a pullup to bed at night!!! i know how you feel about being frustrated as i was too...and i totally agree w you that the teacher could be NOT helping the situation by the comments that she says!!!

Sharon - posted on 09/13/2009

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I'm freaking out! My 3 1/2 yr. old son shows little interest in potty training and he's suppose to start school Thursday! I'm worried that he will be the only one in pull ups when he starts. I don't want him to be known as the stinky kid. He'll be going to school twice a week for 3 or 3 1/2 hrs. I don't know what to do? I guess I'll have to talk to the tecaher and see if she can work with us. But, I look back at when I visited the school she mentioned something about he has to be potty trained for school. What am I going to do! I don't want to hold him back, he'll be 4 yrs old in January. Help!

Elizabeth - posted on 09/11/2009

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i am a twadller teacher in a tutor time in long island new york and one of my mane jobs is potty training and some kids r so easy and others are not. Some times a child is just not ready the best thing i think u can say is if u go potty it will make mommmy or daddy so happy and the kids love that
i also have a all most 3 year old son (sep 28) and some days he does so good dry all day but he still does not tell me so he is not ready to do underwear all the time i do it everyday when i come home from work because if i do not he will think it is ok to have the pull us on wet and they r so much money . But i think i am going to go get a timer (like an egg one) my friends little girl was going to be 5 and start school and she was still always tell her mom no no no and wearing a pull up and she would be be able to start school so they took her to a doctor and he have her a timer to set ever 30mins and when it goes off she needed to go all by her self and 3 days she was fine never need it again hope this helps good luck
liz

Nicola - posted on 09/09/2009

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Don't know if this will help but I got a book all about Potty Training, from choosing a potty to using it, it also came with a magnetic awards chart. The awards magnets were of various pictures and also some stars so I let my son choose a picture for a wee-wee and a star for a poo-poo. At the end of the day we counted the awards and at the end of the week he got a little prize. My son was literally potty changed within a couple of weeks and only had a few accidents when not at home. Good Luck everyone!

Krista - posted on 09/09/2009

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my youngest son is almost 3 1/2 he will be 4 in february ... and we have good days and bad ... he refuses to poop in the potty and only pee pees on his time lol... he is very hard headed but we use stickers when he does actually go and i keep telling him if he poops and we get this potty traing down he will get a big prize ... its sad cause he wants to play soccer and go to school like his big brother and he could IF he was potty trained ....i told him he cant play with pull ups he has to be a big boy but still nothing so unfortunatley i cant help ... My oldest son however was a piece of cake he was 3 and i was pregnant with my youngest i just told him that big brothers dont wear diapers and he said ok and that was it no accidents or anything lol

Mashura - posted on 09/09/2009

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My son was off diapers 4mths b4 he turnd 3. B4 he did just that we did everythg in the book tt includes pull-ups, off diapers... Everything! Finally after all the failures I decided to tell him a story using 2 ragdolls. I told him a normal daily activity story n included the doll being urgent n needed d toilet. It refused to go n dirtied itself. I asked my son with exaggerated concern.."oh dear! What will happen to John?" Surprisingly he talked abt how dirty n smelly d clothes will be. After that I kept reminding him d story n his response then. My son hated smelly things so I gzd my story works. I guess some real reasonings n everyday xperience may work @ times.

Melanie - posted on 09/08/2009

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I had the same problem... I tried EVERYTHING... I took my 2 1/2 year old son to the store to pick out bathroom decor. He picked out the cutest "monsters" stuff. After that he was hooked on going to "his" bathroom with his new stuff... It was like night and day...Good luck!

Maria - posted on 09/08/2009

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im having the exact same problem. my daughter caught on great to pee-pee. she'll even let me know when shes got to go in public. i still have her in her pull-ups though. she has not mastered the # 2 yet. we have had success a few times, only when im coaching her on the potty and shes not distracted can she do it. and forget it, if its not me, than she wont do it for anyone. I have her in pk-3 and her school has a rule after 3 potty accidents they send her back to pk-2 the class with the 2 year olds. she turns three sept 26. im dying! ive tried it all! i feel the pressure and ive run out of solutions. They have been really helpful but shes just not cooperating. :-/ im stressed!

Krystle - posted on 09/07/2009

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MY 3 year old is going to the potty sometimes.He tells us he has to go but then he dont want to sit on the potty

Bulelwa - posted on 09/07/2009

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Try putting her on the grown up sit and they excited by that. My 3yr old did not want a potyy but as soon as I put him on the sit he asks to go by himself now

Cath - posted on 09/06/2009

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What a horrible thing to tell a child! Someone should remind the teacher about the power of positive reinforcement!!! You are doing all the right things if you realise that negatives aren't going to get you there. Toilet training is one of those developmental things that only happen when a child is ready no matter how many mini marshmallows we bribe them with! (mini marshmallows for a wee and a big one for a poo got my also October 2006 conscientious objector to finally do it - and a stamp on her hand so she was reminded of how wonderful the praise was and that she should do it again!) My eldest daughter was trained at 2 - easy - I couldn't believe the months of offering with this youngest then one day she decided she would and it's been that way for about a month. She will decide when she is ready - just offer and accept 'no' without argument - and give heaps of praise for even looking at the toilet! Relax, it'll happen - on her time (and recommend a few good books about postive parenting to the teacher!!!).

Kathleen - posted on 09/06/2009

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we did the no undies, diapers and he had to help clean up. it took 2 weeks, lots of fustration... and a small prize for each time, than only a small prize for poop, than small prize if he went all day (prizes were lightning mcqueen cars and sprite). we also took things away when he had an accident. it was a LONG 2 weeks, but worth every penny. good luck!

Jessica - posted on 09/05/2009

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I've been having troubles trying to get my son interested in the potty training. I've gotten him a little there by telling him "lets go in and try to go potty" Think he doesn't feel as pressured if he physically go when I tell him to go in and try

Sharon - posted on 09/05/2009

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Have you tried making her clean up her own mess? I only ask because this is what ultimatly did it for my 2 and a half year old. I took away all of his diapers and pull-ups and told him he is a big boy and if he pees or poops in his underwear he would have to change his undies him self. He only refused to do so once. I made it clear that he was sent to the corner for not changing him self. Not for peeing his pants. I only helped a little if he was struggling. 2 messy days, plastic pants, a towel on the couch, and lots of foamy hand soap later he was trained. Its been months and he has not regressed either. I know every kid is diffrent, and this method may not appeal to you, but it beats having a mean spirited preschool teacher pick on your child when realy she should be helping and encouraging her to learn something new. After all is that not what you are paying her to do? Picking on a 2 year old! ugh... Some people!

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well first of all id be having words with his teacher she has no right what so ever to make any comments like that to your child. that is just unacceptable!!! your hcild may feel picked on or behind but i honestly wouldnt worry all children are different. my son turned 3 in august and is till in nappies and has no interest in going on the potty. and my health visitor has said the later they leave it the easier it is.... so have faith thats what i have that one day they will "get" it and understand what we need them to do.



just keeping asking if yr daughter if she wants to use it but dont force the issue, sometimes she will sometimes she wont but at some point it will click and walla potty trained. thats what im hoping for!!!!1



fingers crossed for us all eh. :) xx

Tracy - posted on 09/04/2009

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Ugh - I would be so mad if the school my son went to said that!! I feel pressure from my son's school, as well, but I don't think they've made comments. My son turned three at the end of July and he's not at all interested. I don't have any tips, but I do have sympathy! Be patient and hang in there...unfortunately we can't force our kids to use the potty, we just have to wait until they're ready. Sigh. I would have a talk with the teacher, though!

Nicolette - posted on 09/04/2009

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Hi Valerie



I had a similar situation with my daughter .I had been trying to get her to go to the potty 4 months.I did the same as u did.no nappies,put panties on her ect. Eventually I gave up about 2 weeks later she came to me and told me she wanted to go potty.It took 2 weeks for her to b fully trained after that!



It helps to reward them when they do go and mke a huge deal about it.If there is something that she really wants tell her she can hve it if she goes to the potty.After my daughter was potty trained about 4months later her sister was born.She went straight bk to nappies.I've only just gotten her bk on the toilet.She wanted a barbie car(she's 3yr 2mnths) and I told her she could hve one if she went bk to her potty.It took me about a week telling her the same thing untill she finally went.She was on for a week and we got her her car.Since then(its been 6weeks) no mistakes!



Just some ideas.I hope they help!



Nicolette

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