3 yr old girl potty trained to pee. Scared to poop on potty. Only will go in diaper.

Belinda - posted on 09/12/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

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Anyone else have any experience with this? This is my youngest of 5 girls. I have tried the doctors' recommendation and everyone else's and can't find a solution. She knows she has to go, asks for a diaper, and once it is on stands at the coffee table and poops. Everyone keeps saying, "She will figure it out by kindergarten, don't worry" but I would like her to get it sooner. I have tried forcing her to go on the potty, she just holds it till bedtime, when she wears a diaper for accidents. I have tried bribing her with anything she wants if she goes on the potty. I have tried making sure her stool is very soft. I am out of ideas. I would appreciate anything new. Thanks.

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Amy - posted on 09/13/2009

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I have never had this problem with my son, these suggestions may sound weird, but they worked for me.



1. Make a big deal about poop. Let her come in the bathroom with you or his Dad when you are going, show him the poop in the potty.

2. Put her potty in a place other than the bathroom. I always had mine in the living room in the early phase of training, let her sit on it whenever he wants, reward her for sitting on it and trying to go poop.

3. Reward and be positive- if he goes give her something, i created a piggy bank for my son and gave him coins, then took him to the store to buy something.

4. If you see her making a poop face or hiding get him on the potty asap.

5. You could make her a sticker chart for trying to go potty, post this next to the potty on the wall.

6. Let her call er grandma or someone special, after she goes poop, again this makes a big positive deal out of it, and she will want to go.

Remember - Be positive, never critize or repremand her, make a big deal out of it, Poop is a good thing, it should be a happy time.

Also don't put pull ups or diapers on her, use the cloth training underwear with rubber pants, so she can feel when she goes. And if none of these work, dont feel bad, I am sure she will get it someday, I think alot of three year olds just develop irrational fears of some things, and I have know other kids who just wont poop on the potty, give it time, and remember stay positive, dont let her see you upset. Good Luck

Good Luck!

Prue - posted on 09/12/2009

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Hey Belinda, my nearly 3year old girl is exactly the same. I dont really worry. I dont think forcing works because they just dig their toes in and it can scare them. If it is not a medical prob just back off for a while, take the pressure off her and see what happens. I know its hard but stay possitive and im sure she will work it all out.

Inga - posted on 09/12/2009

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hmm try getting her to sit on it while she eats or watching tv because shes most relaxed then. thats all i can think of sorry hope it helps you out

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Elizabeth - posted on 09/22/2009

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well i had this prob and still do from time to time ...but i just told my daughter shes has to go in the toliet .....i got her a toilet seat to cover the big one in the bathroom and for some reason she perfers sitting on the big potty... i tell her ur a big girl now...thats why u go in the big potty i reward her taking her to chuck e cheese for one week of good potty training....and sometimes she still does it in the pull up and then she'll b like can i see? then when i show her she would be like ill!!! that smells nasty! and i tell her thats why you have to go in the potty......and now she goes...st's going with them when you go helps too! good luck!

Adeline - posted on 09/19/2009

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my advice may not really help you now bt if you are planning on having an addition to your family and do not want 2 encounter the same prob here is my advice Kids are more compliant and easy to train when they are still young. when they are around a year and you just accustom them to the potty they get used to it and will b comfortable using the potty when its time. my mum was laughing nat me when l started putting my son on the potty when he was barely a year. l didn't mean for him to use it but l was getting him used to the feel of it and eventually when it was time l did not have problems. l guess you would have to go with what Lucy has just suggested.

Lucy - posted on 09/18/2009

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Hi, i know you said you have tried bribing her.... but my 3 yr old did the same and i told her every time she went for a poop on the potty she got to put money in her money box, 2 wks later and she is dry during the day completly. Keep trying somthing will click xx

Amanda - posted on 09/16/2009

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My daughter does the same thing but she does it in her panties. Over the past few days she has tried to hide it by shaking it out into the potty and flushing before I can see her do it. I want to put her in 4k so I hope she starts completely going potty by her bday at least.

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Oh one more thing I did not have the patience for was a friend of mine used what she called "cold turkey". She just put her son in underwear and he was trained in a week. I tried it, could not stand the mess!

[deleted account]

I sympathize and was about to give up hope when my son was approaching his fourth birthday. He was also hesitant to poop although he had the routine of peeing down. When he went to his room to poop I put the portable potty seat in there, only worked somewhat.I used treats which helped a little, and I had him dump his poop into the toilet and dispose of the diaper. He was making progress but the final step was a sleepover. His little friends used his potty and he immediately went after them and has been fully potty trained since. I don't know if it was coincidence or territorial tendencies, but involving his potty trained friends helped. It is helping with my daughter also. Hang in there, it will happen. Whatever encourages her most, stick to it. It sounds like you have more experience than I do though! Kim:)

Gabrielle - posted on 09/16/2009

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BTW, I've heard that some kids are scared of pooping in the potty because they can see a physical object, from their body, getting flushed away. See if you can figure out what, exactly, scares her, so you can talk about it and defuse it. Good luck.

Gabrielle - posted on 09/16/2009

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First we took my daughter's temp rectally - good for releasing a bm. Then we put on her potty in the den in front of the tv and just left her there for about an hour, with a movie on. Eventually she pooped. We made a huge deal about it - stickers, oreo cookies, etc. The next day we did it again, and she was very excited to see the response from us. After that, we toned it down a little, but it basically trained her over a weekend, and we haven't had any issues since then.

Jomalene - posted on 09/15/2009

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i have the same problem belinda.. my daughter just goes in a diaper.. thanks for posting this.. i will read all the advices thanks..

[deleted account]

I had a friend with this same issue and she cut a hole in a diaper about where the poop would come out. When her child told her he had to go, she put the diaper on him with the hole and set him on the toilet. Once he got used to that and decided it wasn't so scarey, he no longer needed the diaper.

Belinda - posted on 09/13/2009

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Thanks to the three of you for your suggestions so far. When it is time to poop, she asks for her diaper and if I refuse to put one on her, she just gets absolutely completely hysterical. Total meltdown. What then?

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