anyone pregnant and have a 3 year old?

Charlotte - posted on 01/28/2010 ( 43 moms have responded )

1

21

0

am expecting another baby an worried bout how to explain it to my 3year old daughter wat if she is jealous wen the baby is born ow can i cope with a toddler tantrum an a newborn?

also baby is born jus as my daughter will be startin school i dont want her to fink this new baby is here then she gets carted off to big scary school...

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Stephanie - posted on 03/01/2010

14

11

0

I am due with my 2nd child at the end of june and we have been bringing our son to every appointment and let him hold the ultrasound pictures and we have been explaining to him that he is going to be a big brother and that he is going to get to help since the baby won't be able to do that muchand it seemed to help make him not as jealous as he was before. he still doesn't fully understand but it helps to explain.

Natalie - posted on 01/28/2010

448

73

85

My son is about to turn 4 and i have a 2 year old daughter and i'm pregnant again, due on August 2nd.

All you can do is include her in to everything you do for the baby. Help her pick out stuff etc. When the baby is born make her feel important. Give her little "jobs" to do for you. Like getting a diaper, a blanket out of the babies room etc.

Make sure you spend enough time with her alone, make playdates for you and her only. Also when the baby is born.



I think if you do all of this there will be less jealousy.

I did that with my son when my daughter was born and they're only 23 months apart.

They get along great now and he is so excited about the new baby he can hardly wait.

Since he's older now he understand it better and he knows i still spend time with him and he's not ending up short on anything.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

43 Comments

View replies by

Laurie - posted on 07/24/2010

7

9

0

I have a now 4 year and a 7month old. She was really excited to have a baby brother coming and kept asking everytime i went to the doctor if the baby was coming out. Once baby was born there was some jealousy issues but we did try and get her to help and she had special time with Daddy and with mommy. She is doing fine now and he loves watching her and they are starting to play better.

Leah - posted on 07/15/2010

27

92

0

i have a 5yr, 4yr, 3yr, 2yr and 7 weeker. you just have to include your daughter in everything, take her with you for ultrasounds and dr visits and tell her what is what for example when you hear the heartbeat let her know what it is. let her feel your tummy when baby kicks and tell her thats the baby moving. try getting her to talk to baby through your tummy, this can also help with bonding after birth.
look into buying her a baby born or something like that for once baby is here and when you feed baby get her to feed her baby, when you change babys nappy get her to change her babys nappy ect. include her in shopping for baby and let her pick something out to give to baby. try and spend as much 1 on 1 time with her as you can, i know newborns are very demanding but its very important that you make time for your older child/ren too.
goodluck with the rest of your pregnancy and i hope the transition goes well but she should be fine and will adjust to bubs arrival.

Barbara - posted on 07/11/2010

7

17

1

i am not preganant any more because i just had William on April 8, 2010 but i know that feeling. I told my twin girls from the start that i was having a baby and that we were going to being home a new baby from the being this way as he grew in my belly they could see what was really going on. When my friend brought them in to the hosptial they wanted to hold him and kiss him like crazy. Now that he is 3 months sometimes i feel like i am going to go crazy yelling at them all the time to leave him alone. They wanted wake him up to play with him all the time, but all in all they love him and will do anything to help us with him. I can asked them to get me the diapers and wipes for us. I even get them to throw those one away that stink so bad that you can't wait to get raid of it. I am sure that she will be fine with the new baby in the house juet let her help you out with the baby within reason.

Emili - posted on 03/07/2010

136

49

5

i had my first three a year and a half to two years apart and it was harder on them than it was when i had my last daughter when my youngest was three. just tell her that she is going to get a baby brother or sister and tell her all the great things she can do to be a great big sister. if you make it a positive experience for her it will be much easier on both of you. dont worry about whether or not she will be jealous. buy her a baby doll and use it to show her how to hold the new baby, etc. that way you get to spend one on one time with her and also teach her. my son was three when i had my youngest daughter and he adores her. i explained to him early on in the pregnancy that we were going to get a new baby but that he would always be my boy. good luck!

Ronda - posted on 03/06/2010

13

16

0

I have three children, who have three years between each of them(6,3, and 6mos!). I never had any jealousy issues because I made my older child a part of my pregnancy. They got to go to dr visits with me, we would talk about the baby and what things WE would do for the baby. I let my children hold their sibling, as well as getting diapers, wipes, picking out outfits and so on. Making it a positive experience will have a smooth transition!

Rebecca - posted on 03/03/2010

556

41

55

when i was pregnant with my now 3-year-old, my now-6-year-old was 3 ... i explained that there was a baby in my tummy and after that she kept insisting there was one in hers -- it was hilarious, she would put her finger in her belly button then hold it up to show us her baby :))) she would also kiss my tummy every night to kiss the baby goodnight and sometimes she would sing to the baby.

i started my older child in school SEVERAL MONTHS before baby was born and BEFORE i told her i was pregnant, so that she did not associate going to school with baby's arrival.

i know it seem intimidating that you will have two kids to deal with, but you get used to it. mine rarely misbehaved at the same time at that age. but also do everything in your power to get past the temper tantrum phase with your older child, get her potty trained etc before the baby comes.

Jennifer - posted on 03/02/2010

80

24

7

I have a 5,3 and 15 month old and I have no problems with any. I have included them in everything up to delivery so they were well prepared. They all help one another and yes they have their moments but they cope just fine. If it becomes over bearing which sometimes it may take a time out or get help from your spouse. It comes down to communicating and teamwork...

Tanya - posted on 02/17/2010

1

12

0

I have a 3 yr old turning 4 in June and we are TTC. I think what you must do is to include her when you are busy with the baby and ask her to doe some stuff for you.

Nichole - posted on 02/16/2010

50

32

4

My oldest son is 3 and my youngest son is 2 they r 17 months apart and I am due Sept. 19 for my 3rd. They will b 4 and almost 3 when I have this baby. When I was about 6months pregnant with my 2nd I got a baby doll for my son I acted like it was the new baby did everything with the doll that I would do with my new baby I had to help him hold the baby, feed the baby, ect and if he had a fit of jealousy it was with a doll it worked so well when we brought home the baby I had a little helper that already had 2months of experience (my 2nd son was 4 weeks early) it was great I'm going to do it again with both of my kids this time I feel it helped me adjust to having a toddler and a new baby as much as it helped him cope with a new baby. I can not wait to see if it helps my younger son as much as it helped last time seeing how he is older now than my older son was when I was expecting last time. Hope I have been of some help to you and your family!! Good luck and congrats.

Teri - posted on 02/15/2010

3

20

0

trust me I may not be prego but My daughter was 3 when I just had my youngest daughter. I thought the same way. I didnt enrol her in school till this year cause I thought she would think I was shipping her off because there was a new baby so she is starting this year. My daughter I believe has alot of mental issues so i can not help you much on the tantrum thing cause she didnt have them till I had our youngest in june. She has progressivly gotten worse so I think she has something wrong ....If your daughter is like most kids she will get over the jealousy thing when the baby is maybe about 4 months or so. I explained I was prego to my daughter when I first started showing and she could feel the baby. And with the school thing I would try to explain to her that you are not just shipping her away you want her to be with other kids her age.,.

Jessica - posted on 02/15/2010

126

13

19

my son will be 4 next month, we also have a 19 month old and a 6 week old baby. when we had the middle baby it was a little hard because he was only 2, but at the age of 3 almost 4 they are old enough to understand about a baby. let your daughter be involved with everything! if she wants to help feed, change, or bathe the baby let her. and make sure you have a lot of one on one time with her. i think the biggest thing is making sure she doesnt feel left out. as far as dealing with the tantrums and a newborn, take lots of deep breaths! it takes a while to get use to, but you'll get the hang of it before you know it. and dont be afraid to call someone if you need help whether its a mom sister or friend. dont be afraid to ask help.

Patrice - posted on 02/14/2010

24

13

1

You sound like me in 2009! I posted this situation because my daughter turned 3 two months after the baby girl was born. My daughter started headstart September 8 and I went into labor Sept16 (delivered 17) so I know exactly what you mean. Have her help though. My daughter got jealous because I have to carry the baby (11 lbs) everywhere and wouldn't dare pick her up (46 lbs) So I had her fetching diapers and tossing the wet ones. She also grabs a bottle of water while I'm breastfeeding the baby and I have even allowed her to hold and carry the baby (with close supervision and proper instruction) They take baths together with the baby in the infant tub and her in the big tub. The only warning I have though is this: Kids at School have GERMS!!! Make sure your daughter washes her hands when she comes in the house. My daughter keeps getting colds from headstart and it isn't a good thing with the baby in the house because the baby can get the cold (mine has twice).

Alberta - posted on 02/12/2010

60

11

1

My daughter was 3 1/2 when the baby was born and sorry no roses here it was hell for a while. The first few days were the worst. It will get better.Get her her own baby doll and give her her own diapers (newborn size are great for dolls) and make her your little helper. Ask her to help with anything she can and do NOT make the baby off limits. Explain she has to wash her hands (fun foaming soap helps here) and she has to be gentle )practice gentle with the doll now). Also have the new baby give her a present for being a great big sister. (yes think bribery when it gets bad) I have had friends tell me there kids were fine mine was not. Have help available and whenever possible make mommy and 3yo time. As for school can you go visit the classroom now and start talking it up! Make it all about her when school starts and picking out anything she needs ie:blanket for nap time, lunch box, whatever! But don't worry it will pass even if it is bad at first. My 3 yo and the baby are best friends now!!!! Alberta

Jenell - posted on 02/11/2010

1

33

0

I have a 3 year old and a 3 month old my 3year old is alot of help with the baby the only time she gets jelly is if we are doing to much baby talk with the baby i took my 3 year old out of school when I was about 7 months preggy and now she cant wait to go back we r just on a waiting list

Laura - posted on 02/11/2010

2

17

0

My daughter is 3, my son is 6 and am now I am 20 weeks pregnant with our 3rd. I agree with Natalie, include her in everything. She will feel very helpful and like she is an important part of taking care of the baby. I also bought my daughter a new baby with little diaper, bowl, spoon, play bottles and highchair so she could practice before the baby gets here and it seems to have made her so much more excited and confident that she will be a good big sister. My son can't wait. He was only 2 1/2 when my daughter was born and it was really hard on him to share the attention, but now that he is older he "knows" he will be a good big brother and helper. With little ones you need to assure them that you will always have time just for them and that you will always need their help. Yes, definitely make playdates and special time just for you and her so she knows you are not too busy.....even when you are busy;) Give it a few weeks with the baby being here and you and your family will come into your own routine that works and makes everyone happy. Good Luck!!!

Naralie - posted on 02/11/2010

17

11

1

Well when I got pregnant with my second child my son was like 5 monthes old and it doesnt matter the age they will tend to be jealous when a new baby is born! My second child was born when my son was1 year old but while i was pregnant I would have him rub my belly and tell him that a new baby is coming and like your child is 3 they are smarter then we know get your child involved like telling your child to kiss your belly and tell her she's gonna be a big sister and when u start buying the new baby things tell her to help u pick out a toy for the baby and of course buy her a big girl toy!!! Just dont let her feel left out let her know she s the big girl and show her the advantages it has to be the big sister! The jealousy thing will happen eventually whether we want it or not! When I had my 3rd child my son was 3 and it was much easier then when my son was only one! he undertood it much better! So just talk to her about the new arrival and I bet things will go smoothly!

Gemma - posted on 02/11/2010

1

0

0

just make a fuseof her as much as u do to the baby, get her to help out with gettin nappies and bathtime .

Nicola - posted on 02/11/2010

11

16

0

I'm not pregnant but having the new baby bring a special gift for your daughter when he/she is born might help. Also include her in lots of baby stuff after the baby is born, I'm sure she will feel like a little mummy. Good Luck with it all!

Cari-Ann - posted on 02/10/2010

1

8

0

There is a three year gap between my daughter and son. Best advise I can give is keep her involved. We let our daughter help us with the room, she even chose cloths with us. Even when she wanted to take something pink, we let her I just took it back the following day or so. I used to take her to my scans and tell her that she is looking at her baby brother. I used to let he lay her head on my tummy so she could hear inside. (so she thought) she used to get so excited and said he was talking to her. I never had a problem when he was born!

Crystal - posted on 02/10/2010

20

6

0

i have a three year old girl and a new baby. W were very open with her and found that the age gap was perfect because she could really understand what was going on and be involved. Plus only one kid in diapers yay

Amber - posted on 02/09/2010

10

17

0

I am so in the same boat right now!! my daughter is three and i am due in march. I was told by her doc. to not even mention school until about two weeks before it starts because with the new baby coming she will feeling like she is going to be shipped off while her baby sister gets to stay home. i am scared too! I am glad i am not the only one :)

[deleted account]

When I was pregnant w/my now 4.5mos old my 3 yr old came to some drs appts (BTW the nurse was totally awesome and occupied my son while I had my exam) he cried when he heard the heart beat, didn't like me being on the table for my exams, had a crying fit when I got a blood draw... he also cried during the ultrasound :( to his credit he was still 2 during the pregnancy... I showed him his ultrasound pictures to explain to him that he was once in there showing him pics of my pregnant self and blah blah blah, so when he saw the ultrasound and my belly getting bigger he knew there was a new baby in there. I would read What to Expect When You're Expecting and show him the pictures of what the fetus looked like during that month...he loved flipping through the book and looking at the pictures. He was great when he came to visit mom in the hosp. after the baby was born, held him and I got the most beautiful pic of the 2 of them together!!! At first it was a little tuff w/the no sleep thing, but the baby sleeps enough that you still have many opprotunities to spend non-baby time w/toddler. Now that he's almost 5 mos old my son is having a little more issues because the baby is awake more and requires more attention then at first, but he has wonderful moments of love and adoration for his baby brother. Jake is HIS baby :) My friend had a daughter and a new baby and her biggest problem was that she wanted to play w/the baby like he was a doll...so def. get her a dolly so she can change her baby when you change yours etc! Good luck!!!

Jessica - posted on 02/06/2010

17

0

3

when i was pregnant with my second daughter, I made sure Annie was very much active in my pregnancy. She would go to the doctor with me, as long as there were no vaginal exams, her favorite part was listening to the heartbeat and watching the ultrasound. We would also watch the baby shows together. On those shows it shows mommy getting an ultrasound and later mommy had a new baby. That helped her to understand what was really going on cause she was only 2 when our second daughter was born. We would ask her if she wanted a brother or sister and asked her what names she liked. As far as school goes my daughter was very excited to go to "Big Girl School" we told her how she would meet new friends and get to play with other girls her age. She absolutely loves school but she has always been a bit independent. Good luck.

Charlene - posted on 02/06/2010

2

2

0

Hi Charlotte,

I just had a baby the beginning of December and my daughter turned 3 the end of December. I too was concerned about how she would react after being the center of attention for so long. Thankfully, she has been great-extremely helpful and constantly talks about how much she loves her new brother. That being said, I have noticed that she has become more "clingy and attached" but that is normal. I think it was helpful that during the pregnancy we did not make a huge deal about the "new baby" so that she did not feel that something better was coming along. We made sure to take her to my ultrasounds and talked to her about her new brother. I hope this is helpful!

Tracy - posted on 02/06/2010

4

12

0

I thought that when my 2 older kids where born there is 18 months between them all I did was include my son in everything I did with my daughter and if I had to go in the kitchen to make up bottles I would say to him. Now I need you to be a big boy for mum and look after your we sisters if she cries will you shout for me. it worked great. And don't worry about her going to school she will be to busy telling all her new friends about her we brother/sister

Elizabeth - posted on 02/06/2010

5

6

0

Talk to your daughter - they know more about what is going on than we think! The more you talk, the easier it'll be. My son is 3 1/2 now, but was 3 when I got pregnant with our second child. There are moments when he's a bit jealous, but there are more moments when he's loving and caring! We talked about what babies will do, what they need, etc. before the birth - we also asked him to help. Toddlers love to help - even if it's just getting a diaper or change of clothes, but we've also talked about how he can help teach his younger brother different things like crawling, talking, and sharing. We also took a sibling class at the hospital.
There will be days that are tough and jealousy will be there, especially in the beginning; but there will be days when it's the greatest thing and the two will become great friends with your help! Good luck, you can do it!

Jacqueline - posted on 02/05/2010

4

10

0

congratulations on your pregnancy. i have 3 children, just 4, nearly 4 and nearly 8 months. was very worried about how girls would react to new baby but couldnt have been better. they enjoyed being able to help by getting nappy, cloth etc and felt involved. you will be fine and pleasantly surprised im sure. good luck

[deleted account]

my daughter was 2 1/2 when my second daughter was born in Jan 09 and I bought her a baby born doll for Christmas. When my daughter was born my eldest would feed, bathe and play with the doll when I was doing the same thing. Not only was this cute but she had her own baby so she felt really involved.

Shannon - posted on 02/04/2010

21

11

3

My new baby is almost two months now, I was super worried that my three year old would be jealous of her but she has been awesome. I have noticed a slight increase in attitude from her but I'm not sure if that just comes with her age or if the new addition to the family actually affected that. I was told to try and have her be as involved as possible so she gets me diapers and clothes and whatnot. She loves feeling included with the baby.

Jennifer - posted on 02/04/2010

0

0

0

I agree with the other posts about keeping her involved. My son is about to turn 4 and I am due in June (just prior to him starting school) I have found by him being involved he is feeling just as excited about this new addition as we are. The best thing we ever did was to take him to see the aultrasound with us, he loved seeing the baby and as he watched it he thought the baby was waving hello to him! As for the school part we keep making a big deal out of what a special big boy he is for being able to go as this is not something the baby will be allowed to do, that makes him feel very special about it. Hope all this excitement continues once the baby actually arrives :)

Rita - posted on 02/02/2010

82

35

5

My son had just turned 3 when the new baby was born a few months ago. The first few days were rough, but a lot of positive reinforcement. Make a real big deal out of every thing they do! They are looking for praise, so really praise how they hold the baby, how they help Mommy, how they love the new baby. My 3 yo is so good with the baby, he just loves him to pieces, no jeallousy. He actually potty trained the same month the baby was born. The baby was 2 weeks old...and my toddler potty trained. I included my 3 yo in a lot of activities with the new baby, like helping me dress and bathe him. I praised his efforts. He always asks me, "If I am his BEST friend" and I always tell him that he will always be my best friend. I think they want to feel loved and special...and it takes a lot of effort, and sometimes right after having a baby effort is not any thing you want to hear about...but the little extra effort will pay off in the long run. 3 yo...is a good age. I think if my son had been 2 yo...it would have been a lot different.
Good luck to you! Congrats!

Mary - posted on 02/02/2010

7

1

0

We have a 3 1/2 year old and a 3 month old... Honestly I just ignore the older girl when she has fits... She only gets my attention when she deserves it.

Donna - posted on 02/02/2010

1

16

0

I have a 3 year old and I am expecting in May. I took him to the ultrasound that we discovered he is going to have a baby brother. He was more interested in getting the pictures from the machine. LOL I have explained to him his baby brother is coming and he is excited about it wanting the baby now. He tells everyone that mommy ate a baby and it will come out soon to play with him. He doesn't understand why he can't go in my belly and play with his brother. It is fun listening to the way they think at that age. I spend a lot of time with him and I think everything will be good when the new baby comes. I am not sure how a girl would react or really how my 3 year old is going to act when the new arrival comes. Keep your faith and pray everything will work out for the best. Lots of love and attention like everyone else has said is the key.

Dawn - posted on 02/01/2010

346

22

58

She is totally old enough to understand what is going on, so don't be afraid to tell her you have a baby growing in your tummy. You will be able to cope with the two, it will just take some adjustment. My first two are 2 years and 9 months apart, then 2 years and 1 month, and this time around it will be 2 years and 3 months (due in June). All of my kids have been able to understand that a new baby is coming (including my current youngest who is 22 months).

I would encourage you to take her to an appointment or two (if your dr. office allows that) to hear the heartbeat or to the ultrasound and/or show her a video of the ultrasound...or at least pictures. They are smart, they get it. After baby arrives, just make sure you find some one-on-one time for your older one. It can be hard to do, but if you schedule it in it will help!

Tamara - posted on 01/31/2010

4

12

0

Hi! I have a 3 yr. 4 month yr. old and am expecting my 2nd in June. I FEEL ya girl, especially since my son is CLINGY! He gets jealous when I hold or play with another child, even my 6 yr. old nephew that lives with us. In addition to the advice others have already posted, a friend suggested that when the baby is born, the "baby" should bring a gift for my son. Her oldest adores the gift his little sis brought for him. I am definitely going to do this for my son!

Amber - posted on 01/31/2010

24

25

4

I had my daughter when my son was almost 2 years old. I still remember the day we brought her home. He We set her down in her car seat at his level and he threw himself on the floor and cried. Even with all the prep of "Your new sissy is in there". He was excited to be a big brother until that day. He did have a hard time adjusting to not being the only one with attention. The key is always include her in what you're doing with the baby. Giving praise is also a good way to encourage. Even now, my son will help his sister and we peek and praise him when he thinks we're not looking. What we use is "What a good big brother you are!" and "You have such a good big brother". now that they're older they do things for each other and get praise, not as a constant, but time to time. I wish you luck and congrats :)

Holly - posted on 01/29/2010

66

26

1

My two kids are just over thee years apart...my son wasnot too interested during the pregnancy, even though we took him to the first ultrasound. He liked to see the baby on the scene but did not understand that it was the baby in mommy's tummy. When my daughter came along it was reallly good...while I feed her my son would sit next to me and color on a book or play with some cars. We were worried that when he saw me breastfeeding he would be too curious and not understand, but that was not the case. Exactly he remembers that that is where 'baby milk' comes from. We found some ways to take him out and enjoy 'big kid' things just the three of us when we found a babysitter for the baby. good luck and congrats

Brandi - posted on 01/29/2010

1

14

0

i am going through the same thing i have a 3 year old son who will be 4 in july and i am expecting at the end of march... my son has been my everyhting since he has been born and its always just been he and i his father passed away almost a year ago and i dont want him to feel left out and im affraid that he will wonder why he has a diff last name then his baby sister and i def dont want him to feel jealous or left out....

Alida - posted on 01/29/2010

1

20

0

we found getting a baby born for our girls was a really helpful way to involve them they would change her and feed her same time as me.We would be out and they would be breast feeding them make big time for them when baby is sleeping.It will all work out they kids are tuff. as for school try and get a baby sitter for bub so you can do first day drop of just with her good luck!!!

Chantelle - posted on 01/28/2010

114

17

4

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Dont worry everything will be fine. My daughter is 3, she has a 1 year old sister and I'm expecing another one in a few months. (They have an older brother too, he is 7) I took them to the ultra sound and explained there is a baby inside my tummy, a new brother for them to play with and help look after. I include them in everything from picking out clothes and doing up the nursery. They are really excited. They also have baby dolls that they both cart around the house with them and they cuddle it, dress it and all that sort of thing. Sometimes there might be a jealousy thing but if you just remember to include your daughter you will get through it no probs! With her new school she may just enjoy being around lots of kids her own age and make plenty of new friends, heaps of exciting things to do as well. Tell her everyday how much you love her and give her plenty of positive comments/feedback, I find this helps a lot. Hope everything goes okay for you, all the best. You will be fine.

Rachel - posted on 01/28/2010

38

15

1

my daughter is 3 almost 4, and my sons are 2 1/2 and 3 months old, when I was pregnant with my youngest she really didn't understand at first that mommy was going to have another baby, until we took her to the ultrasound, and she got to "see" her baby brother. From then on, she wanted to hold him all the time, and she loved feeling him kick, and would say everyday she couldn't wait to hold her baby brother. Let her be involved, and spend as much time as you can with her after the baby is born.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms