Binky?

Teresa - posted on 08/17/2010

There is no other way and more effective way than getting rid of the binky for good. Just make an excuse when he asks....like the police got the binky or the cow chewed on it. Silly yet effective. I did the same with my son. He cried for almost an hour. Nevertheless, I did not put my guards off. When he finally believed that I was telling the truth, he stopped yelling.


-from Teresa, writer of
Best Moms’ Rule Number 1: Anticipate System Down
at http://blog.clariity.com

Sara - posted on 08/14/2010

I don't want to sound harsh and I obviously don't know how you deal with and discipline your son, but you're the parent aren't you? Have you tried rounding up all of his Binkies and only giving him one at the appropriate time? If he has no self control (and what 4-year-old does) then you should take control of them. One day just tell him that he can only have it at bed time, nap time, and in the car. You'll probably have a rough day (maybe two) but chances are he'll be fine with this after a day. You'll have to keep explaining to him that he's becoming a big boy and big boys don't need their Binkies all day, only at nap/bed time. Try to have fun home activities planned for these days and you'll keep him so distracted he won't even think about it. I know it's a lot of work, and will probably end up being more exhausting for you than him, but after a little while of him only having it at bed time, you can then tell him that if he leaves the Binkies for the Binky Fairy to give to new babies who need them, she'll leave him a small prize or money (think Tooth Fairy- they're sisters)- whatever you think best.
This is what we had to do with my son (3 & 1/2) and he is now about 2-months Binky free! I think this works because even though he's losing control of it at first, in the end he is the one who decides to give it up- he's the one with the power. I hope this helps. The only other thing I can offer is "Good Luck!"

Sarh - posted on 08/13/2010

Tell him that if he barries it in the back yard then a sucker tree (lollipops) will grow where he barried it, but it has to stay there. Go out in the back yard w/him and barry it, then the next day put a sucker sticking out of the ground where you barried it....
Or like we had to do w/my sister was tell her that the Easter bunny (that was the closest holiday at the time) was going to give her binky to a baby who really needed it, while she was sleeping with threw them all away and when she woke up we told her that the Easter Bunny was giving them to another child. I believe we may have kept one hidden for at night nap time and bed time.... Or just take it away and only give it to him at nap time or bedtime, and slowly take it away from him... Hope this helps, thank fully my daughter never took one and my son (2 months) only takes one if we are in the car and can't nurse right away. Good luck!!!

Ann - posted on 08/10/2010

I am having the same problem. My daughter is 4 and she still insists on having her binky but only when she's tired and wants to go to sleep. She also has Sensory Processing Integration and we were told to let her keep it for as long as possible because of the oral stimulation or to buy her a dog chew toy (which I WILL NOT DO) but I disagree. I keep telling her she's a big girl now and that she does not need her binky anymore but she insists. I hope someone can come up with a good plan.

Sara - posted on 08/07/2010

cut a slit in the binky and tell him, "wow, your teeth are big boy teeth and must have cut through the binky" "you must not need it anymore, it doesnt work"...then you dont have second thoughts and he cant use it, its broken :)

Terri - posted on 08/05/2010

I know this sounds mean....Just take it away. He is going to cry and cry and cry some more...but he will eventually stop and find a new way to comfort himself...this is where you come in..get him a favorite toy, blanket...something he can keep in his hands at all times...and reassure him that you love him just don't remind him of the "binky". and make sure he can't find "hidden extras" laying around the house..that just makes it even more dificult for you as the Mama...oh..and your a mom...you'll always want the best for your child and STILL feel guilty..even thought its for the best. It just works that way sometimes..GOOD LUCK..STAY STRONG!! =)

Crissy - posted on 08/05/2010

i have 4 kids 3 that used a binky. my daughter was 4 when i finally gave up and took it away. after that i got smart and took the binky away at one year old just before i took the bottle. Any way you have to just make it dissapear along with all the others you find around the house. they will cry and throw a fit but be strong it wont last long and you will be done with the binky for good.

Carisa - posted on 08/01/2010

My sister had her kids take their binkies to the toy store and trade them for a new toy. When they asked for the binky, she showed them the toy and reminded them they had traded the binky for the toy.

Emma - posted on 07/31/2010

about 18mths for both of mine i just got rid of them one day if they forgot or lost one that was it, i was all up for getting rid of it because it can affect speech in some children.

Sheryl - posted on 07/22/2010

I dreaded taking the binky from my daughter. Right before her 3rd birthday I took her to the dentist and asked him to tell her it would hurt her teeth. He is really tall and he looked down at her and said it was really bad for her big girl teeth and was making them stick out. She stopped the binky the same day. Go figure.

Ashley - posted on 07/14/2010

You just have to be firm.
Here are a few ideas I have collected over the years:
I worked at a daycare. Before I was a mom. The kids had to give up binkies except at naptime when they came into our room. I worked in the 18 month to 2 year room. All of the kids who had binkies walked in the room with them, I asked them to give them to me, and I put them in their cubby. At naptime we only gave them back if they asked. And we made them put them back in their cubbies as soon as they got off thier mats. Most of the parents put them straight back in their mouths as soon as they picked them up too. They said they couldn't get them to give them up at home - but we had no problems at school. I think it's somewhat of a "better for other people then mom" issue, and also a control issue, they know they can push your buttons and you will give in.
My cousins kid was really bad about binkys. They say not to do this, but she did. She cut off the end of one binky every few days when he wasn't looking. He would say it was broken - they would throw it away. And not buy a new one. Pretty soon it was the last one - and he was ok throwing it away. It was a rough day or two, but not that bad I guess.
My son gave up the binkys on his own about 4 months. Ours were wearing out and I thought he needed a new size. My mom went to get another pack (I'd just had surgery.) She couldn't find the right ones, so she got like 3 different kinds - ones with teething nubs, ones with different shapes, and they were all the next size bigger. He wouldn't even suck them - spit them all right out. And didn't fuss. Now, granted, he was small then. And he still had bottles - and weaning him from bottles was pure hell. But with that we just threw them away and lived through about 5 days of bad days. Then he was fine. But I wonder if the different texture or different shape might help you in this situation too.
I hope some of the above suggestions help a little.
I think the main thing is to choose what ever you think will work for you and just stick with it. And no matter what kind of fit they throw and how much you want some quiet, just don't give in.

Shawna - posted on 07/14/2010

I think that my son was 3.5 when we weaned him off the binky. One night I could not find his binky and told him that I was not going to buy anymore for him. He was really upset for a couple of nights but finally got used to sleeping without the binky.

Annamarie - posted on 07/14/2010

Cut the binky? I've heard if you cut the tip off and take away that sucking feeling--they will give them up.

Sarah - posted on 07/13/2010

You could tell him a couple days in advance that the fairies are coming to take all the binkys away but will leave you a pressie in exchange for them.
So the just before bed you ask for the binkys to be put in a bag/ basket hang it up somewhere and explainby giving these up you are gonna be a big boy and the fairies will bring u a big boy treat if you can sleep tonight with no binky!
As soon as he has gone to bed THROW THEM AWAY! so u dont go back and give them to him, it will be a tough night but he has something to look forward to when he wakes in the morning his treat!!
Dont give in and give him one or he'll know the next time u try to take them all he has to do is throw a wobbly and you'll give in!
Good luck!

Deborah - posted on 07/07/2010

I don't want to seem judgmental, but I am curious as to how old your children were when you told them Santa wasn't real. My son understood what presents were at age two but I wouldn't dream of taking away Santa Claus, or the Easter Bunny and other such things away at such a young age. Children are only young once so why not let them have their little fantasies while they still have the ability to believe in the magic of things. As adults we no longer have the capacity to just believe in something without proof, we need explanations and such things, but a child can just believe in things, which is one of the most special thing about children, I can't imagine taking that away. Again, I don't want to sound judgmental or critical I'm just curious.

Diana - posted on 07/06/2010

I'm not a huge fan of "Binky fairies" or any other stories to explain away the pacifiers, but I'm also a mom who has told her kids Santa was fake since they were old enough to know what presents were, so consider that :-). I would sit down with him and explain things directly: he's a big boy and is too old for a pacifier, it's not good for his teeth, no one will be able to understand him with it in his mouth, and whatever other reasons you have. Then, let him decide when to get rid of it (say, one specific morning or night), and make a huge deal when he does. The only 100% way to be rid of it is just that--to completely get rid of it. Rid the house of all binkies and realize that he may be upset, but he should get over it quickly. Good luck!

Deborah - posted on 07/05/2010

Try the binky fairy, have your son get all his binkies and put them in a box or something, hang it up and the binky fairy will come and take them to the babies that don't have any. The binky fairy will leave your son a special big boy surprise. You can change binky fairy to whatever name works for your son. Good luck.

Nancy - posted on 06/12/2010

I have a two and three year old and for them to not use it as much I did a binky jar...they only got the binky at night time and nap time at home if they stayed anywhere else then they could not have it. works for not having it all day long.

Debbie - posted on 05/12/2010

We did the "Binky Fairy" bit, where Sammie put her clean binky in a box and left it by the front door..that night was a bit rough until she passed out, but the next morning she had a real girl bracelet and I let her sleep with it on the first few nights. Never had another thought. She knows the fairy took her bink and gave it to a baby who needed it. This was when she was almost 3 yrs old and she had only been using it at nite time.

Nichole - posted on 05/10/2010

My kids never had binky's(I didn't want to deal with them), but pretty much everyone else I know has used them so here are a couple ideas. You can tell him that there is a "Binky Fairy", have him put it on the front porch at night, and in the morning he gets a prize. You can snip it off at the base, and just tell him it fell off and when he realizes it's no fun, he may lose interest. Others have had them "give" it to a baby who "needs" it. And lastly, I've heard of people taking them to Build-A-Bear and letting them pick out a stuffed animal, and the binky goes inside. That way, they still "have" it, it's just not accessible anymore. Hope this helps!

Yvonne - posted on 03/20/2010

My son is turning 4 this week, when he once lost his pacifier(we call it 'pipka') he totally lost his mind, cried till he was almost hyperventilating. My husband had to get on his hands and knees in the middle of the night and search his whole room till we found it.



We thought we'd take it away on his birthday and say "big boys don't use pipka's" but now arn't so sure. We don't want to make his birthday a traumatic event. I think we will use one of the give it to a fairy techniques or once he starts kindergarden say they're not allowed. I believe he has to agree to it on some level or else he'll always want it back. Wish us luck.

Nicole - posted on 03/20/2010

It might sound mean.. but I just got rid of it and threw it out when he was a little less than 2... Told him that he was a big boy now and he was starting to use the potty and that meant no more bink.. He cried for a night or so and then it was fine... I would suggest on a Friday to take it so that you can stay home and rest the next day if he wont sleep without it!

Elizabeth - posted on 03/20/2010

TAKE IT AWAY!!! that is way way to old to have one of those! you have to deal with the fit for a while, no offense but it is just lazy parenting to not have taken it away already!!!!

Jessica - posted on 03/19/2010

The best thing to do it cut of the nipples, he won't like sucking on them. I got rid of my son's paci when he was 2. He kept biting through the nipples so we just took them away one night. I told him he kept breaking all of them and we had to throw them away. We had one rough night and he was over it. I did save one for memories! I put it in his baby box as he'll be my only child :0) Good luck sweety. Might be alittle tougher since he's older, they are surely stubborn at this age!

Alicia - posted on 03/17/2010

how i got my daughter off her her binky was she lost it one day where i couldnt find it i look all over for it and couldnt fine it we were leaving home for the weekend so i told her i would buy her another one which i didnt cause she was so busy playing with her cousins she never thought about the hold weekend so she would have wait tell we got back home and find the old one so when we came back home she found it under the bed where i had look she stuck it in her mouth and i took away telling she hadnt had it all weekend she didnt need it now and threw it in trash an she said ok and havent look back since which was 2 yrs ago

Amanda - posted on 03/16/2010

My doctor told us to cut the tips off the binki's. We did that and pretended we had no idea what happened. She came up to us and said mom my binki broken. Then she threw it in the trash and that was that.

Sharon - posted on 03/15/2010

Its not the exact way, but I told him if he get's rid of one binky a day or week the binky fairy said she will get him one small gift, we will see what happens. The right way is get rid of all you binky's and you'll get one big gift. I feel like my son is never going to get rid of his binky's all together. He's 4 yrs old and still has a binky, what can you do?

Michelle - posted on 03/13/2010

I did not think my daughter would ever get rid of her binky. She used to carry 3 or 4 at a time everywhere!! Finally, she started to lose them and expected me to buy more. I told her after she lost all of her binks, there would be no more and I stuck to my guns (for once - lol). We finally got down to one and she lost it. Guess what she gave up the bink without too much fuss and I was shocked!!!

Catherine - posted on 03/11/2010

When i took my daughter off her dummy (i couldnt find it that night) i told her i threw it in the bin.. She was fine with it, she went to daycare the next day and told everyone her dummy was in the bin. she even found one a few months later but it didnt create a problem.. I think she has always been more attached to her teddy.. But mostly teddy is only for sleep time. I'm ok with that

Sharon - posted on 03/07/2010

I'm glad were not alone I hope one of us figure's out what to do that works.

Mandy - posted on 02/28/2010

I have the same problem my son turned 4 on the7th of feb. He can go without it but some days he can't. My family says he'll give it up when he is ready but he is starting pre-school in aug. The givin it to other babys did work he is too smart he said " new babys can get there own at the store" we have been doin the he only gets it at bed time but my aunt that watches him gives in if he cries. I'm lost if u have any more ideas would be helpfull I need help also!!!

Jamie - posted on 02/24/2010

I am still working on that myself. A friend of mine suggested to throw it to the frogs.We lost hers at the store but the grandmother bought her a new one. That would have been the way to go. I cut a slit in the side of it for my other daughter and it worked for her. This one is different she kicks and screams and is realy fiestly. I wish you well. Let me know what works for you. I need all the help I can get also. Thanks for the post.

Ashley - posted on 02/23/2010

Binky, wow haven't heard that word in a while...THANK GOD! My 3 yr. old recently gave her binky up about 6 months ago. We had been on to her alot and she finally just threw it in the trash one day. Just keep encouraging him that he is 4 and he's a big boy now and everybody will be so excited and proud of him when they find out he threw it away!! It's hard, I KNOW!!

Kerri-Ann - posted on 02/23/2010

We told our daughter that the suci fairy was coming to take it so the new baby could have it. We told her that the suci fairy only allows one in a house. Are they going to school this fall? You could maybe come up with a school related story to convince him to let it go? Good luck, I know hard that one is.

Alison - posted on 02/23/2010

I thought I was indulgent, letting my daughter keep her paci to age 3. It is time to cut him off. He may need a substitute (some suggest a sort of stone he can keep in his pocket).

We told our daughter we were going to send her paci to Timbuktu when she turned 3. I took an envelope and let her put "it" in. I wrote Timbuktu and put it in the mailbox. The rest, we discretely discarded.

Another option is to trade in the binky for a toy of his choice from the binky fairy. That could work very well for a 4-year-old.

Get rid of the Binky Box altogether. He is a big boy now.

Emilie - posted on 02/22/2010

Neither one of my kids were attache to a paci or Binky, My cousin's son is almost 3, they just recently got him to give up his paci. They told him he would need to leave it outside on the porch for the paci fariy to take and give to a new baby. While he was taking his bath his dad went out and took it. When he got dressed they went and showed him that it was gone, and he clapped his hands and said "Yay babies". They haven't had any trouble with him about it, it has been about 2 weeks.