HELP!

Judy - posted on 01/17/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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my three year old is ..welll... a pain in the neck with mommy lol ... he listens to his dad but flat out refuses to listen to me! sometimes I want to pull my hair out! I have tried time outs---didnt work...yelling---he yelled back... spanking---- doesnt even care he turns around and runs off! I have grounded him from toys...tv.... he does not care! refuses to listen to me . PERIOD

I love my son with all my heart but i really wish he would listen to me once in a while

any suggestiosn!?

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4 Comments

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Kaye - posted on 01/27/2010

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Maybe he's acting out because he's missing something else. Are you really busy and forget to sit and have one-on-one time with him (reading or coloring)? Maybe he's a child who needs words of affirmation and needs to hear that he is a good boy to start behaving that way. (He might think that you consider him a bad boy, so he just follows suit?) He may simply want more attention from you. You may not think so , because he's seemingly treating you 'badly', but you could try it and see if it turns around. Only suggesting this because I found myself in the same trap with my son. The only time I was talking to him was to yell at him. Now I always make time to ask him questions about his day and make time for puzzles and games, just the two of us. It has helped. I was also forgetting to praise him when he WAS well behaved and have made a big effort to do that and this also has improved behavior.

Morgan - posted on 01/20/2010

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Don't react if he throws a tantrum with you. We don't ever take toys away, maybe markers :) But yelling at them lets them know they have your complete attention and if that's how they get it then so be it. Try interacting with things you know he loves and I know things can get crazy but if you need to....walk away for a min and clear your head. When you say something enforce it. It doesn't always have to be a spanking and if it is a spanking make it a last resort and make sure they will remember it but NO BRUISING OR BEATING! Just spank. Doctors say the thigh hurts worse than the butt. I don't know because I don't have to spank my daughter. If she back talks I correct her and it follows with a "do you understand me young lady?" YES MA'AM! then corner hands behind her back complete silence and if all else fails, she is very concerned with how her dad thinks of her. I just say ok fine I will just call your dad right now and we'll tell him how your making bad choices today and lose your sticker on your big kid big helper chart. She does not want to dissapoint dad. And she cleans her bedroom everynight b4 bed. Constant routine is the best thing I can tell you.

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When my daughter yells back at me, I stop and walk away. I go about my business and if she throws a tantrum, or chases after me yelling, I gently pick her up whisper in her ear that she is not to speak to me that way, and when she is ready to talk to me and listen to what I am going to say we will chat, otherwise, she is to sit on her bed in her room until she calms down. She yells, screams, and sometimes even knocks stuff over, but in the end, she listens to me, and cleans or helps me clean up her mess before she can continue with her day.

Mellissa - posted on 01/18/2010

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I had the same issue with my boy and then daddy went to work in a different area of the state like 400 miles away. It forced him to listen to me as I am the only one here for 2 weeks at a time. Sometimes it might need to be just you and your son with daddy out of the way. Reason is that he will see that mommy is the pushover and daddy is the punish er. He will HAVE to listen to you I have done bribery sounds terrible but it has worked (I don't use food as that is a place I don't want to go). If their is something that he ABSOLUTELY loves take it away and keep taking things away until he listens I have done this and once their toys are gone they realize you are NOT kidding.

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