how do i get my 3yearold to stop being scarred of her room?

Jeanny - posted on 01/26/2010

Cool idea Natalie! We've actually been looking at a Twilight Turtle for the kids if she's still scared after getting into the big bed with her brother. It's a combo of nightlight projector and stuffie and I've heard nothing but good about it. http://www.sleepsheepandfriends.com/turt...

We're moving some time this year and the kids will hopefully have their own rooms then but we need to get them out of our room and our bed asap. So I am open to any and all ideas and tips!

Natalie - posted on 01/26/2010

jeanny J. they have star night lights on ebay that cover the whole ceiling and walls with stars, these can cover up the shadows and are quite mesmerising.

Natalie - posted on 01/26/2010

try this too. sit in your childs room at night with the window open and listen for night noises. when you hear something tell her what makes the noise then both of you try and copy the noise. you can close the window to show that the noises are not so loud and listen for the noises again and copy them again. it seemed to help my girl when she could identify the noises and sometimes i hear her copying the noises over the monitor when shes in bed.

Jeanny - posted on 01/25/2010

My daughter turns 4 in Aug and has slept with us since Oct. She is afraid of the shadows and we just can't find a solution that will stick. We've tried a nightlight, a pink lamp, glow in the dark stars and moons, music that plays all night (we've used this since she was a newborn) and her favorite stuffies. Different combos of the above worked until my DH and I went on a vacation without the kids. Anja had huge attachment issues after this (even stopped potty training and refused to go to daycare) but these gradually resolved themselves. So now it's all about the shadows that we can't seem to get rid of enough for her.

She will be sharing a room with her 21mo old brother who will only sleep if it's quiet so I'm not sure the mp3 idea will work for us but I am deffinately going to try the build-a-bear protector or dream catcher and the lamp will stay lit. We're going to put the kids together in a big bed since they seem to sleep better with someone in bed with them and will adjust our bedtime routine to suit.

Tara - posted on 01/22/2010

my daughter was scared of her room and would only sleep on the couch and i tryed everything waiting until she went to sleep and then put her in her room, night lights, her favorite puppy everything until my mom suggested we get her a TV for her room i know some people have there own things about TV's in kids rooms but i was the same way but i gave in and got her one and now she sleeps in her room no problem

Robin - posted on 01/22/2010

My four year old is still scarred of everything. Our sucess finally came with holy water. At Mass I fill up a little bottle for his room. And, at night I sprinkle all the things he's scarred of so God and his angels will protect him from monsters (his words). It's unbelievable the transformation from a constant fight until 12-1 am every night to not one peep.

I've heard of people doing this with lavender or other calming herbs put in a spray bottle an let the child spray scary things. Also, I wasn't letting mine play in their room during the day because they would make such a mess. Now, I let them play but supervise more closely. And, their dad has taken to backing me up, when he comes home from work and they've made a huge mess or done something naughty up their they get punished a second time. Its made my life easier...both during the day and at night.

Natalie - posted on 01/21/2010

putting stories and music onto an mp3 player will give you music and stories all night. if my girl woke up and it was quiet in her room she'd be calling out. now i find that when she wakes she is more likely to stay in bed and listen to her music. i have about 300 stories and music on her mp3 player, hours of enjoyment!!



i borrow music and stories from the library and burn them to the comp. would love to send some stories or music to anyone who might want them.

Jennifer - posted on 01/21/2010

I think children develop an imagination around 3, but they also know their fears are a fine way to get attention. I would try not to buy into her fears too much. A good dose of common sense can put things in perspective for them. My son told me about a bad dream he 'had' and when I told him he was full of beans, that was the dream I had last week (he heard me tell a friend about it), he just smirked.
He developed a fixation with rhinos from watching Babar. All of his rhino precautions were his idea. I told him that they couldn't get in because they didn't have a key and he believes this. He goes to sleep in his bed, but crawls into my bed in the middle of the night, I am sure that he isn't afraid- kids just like to be with someone else. If I happen to be up, I tuck him into his bed, instead of mine.
In the past I put a kid down for her nap with a wooden spoon so that she could whack any monsters that came near. I think it is comforting to children if you say something along the lines of, "No monster would dare come in our house, I'd stick him in the big pot and make stew". Kids like to believe in their parents.
As you can see, a lot of kids are doing what your child is, if you think the behaviour is more extreme than normal, don't forget to consider molestation.

Chrislyn - posted on 01/20/2010

I gave my daughter a small spray bottle that had "monster spray" in it. It was water with a touch of vanilla for color and scent. She just sprayed when she felt afraid.

Amy - posted on 01/20/2010

What we do with all our children is get some stories on cd and put them on at bedtime for the children to listen to. Our 8 ur old boy listens to adventure in odeasy and our youngest(3) listens to disney or patch the pirate (Christian baced). It helps change there focus

Gretchen - posted on 01/20/2010

i had the same problem with both of my kids and i made up a "cover" for the house. it keeps everything out but it is see through so even if you can "see" the monsters they cant get you because of the cover.i explained it to my son with a toy house and a bowl. seems to work. he even explained how it worked to my daughter who is a year younger. good luck.

Natalie - posted on 01/19/2010

put stories and childrens music onto an mp3 player, plug it into some speakers and play this at night, this covers up all those little creaks and noises that some kids will use to come out of their room. i made up a spray bottle with some glitter, water and a few drops of my perfume in it as a "room protection" spray. if there is a prob i spray under the bed, in the cupboard and a little on her pillow so she has the comforting smell of me. i am also using the tried and true sticker chart. if she can stay in her room all night. she gets a sticker and when she gets 7 skylar gets a small presant.

Denise - posted on 01/18/2010

my 3yr old girl is the same, every night she climbs in2 my bed saying she had a bad dream or that its scary in there. i leave her dora lamp on all night but that doesnt help either... she's alright during the day but its really hard 2 even get her 2 fall asleep in there.. mayb if u get her 2 watch a dvd in there she might fall asleep 2 it or give her a teddy bear 2 cuddle up 2... i think its jus another stage thy go thou.. hope things get better 4 u.

Kristina - posted on 01/18/2010

My daughter went through the whole night terror phase. What helped was a little angel with a suction cup on it that I put on her on window. I told her it was "magical" and protected the room from all the bad things and sent her sweet dreams. You can use anything that you know that will appeal to your daughter. I also leave a nightlight on for her. I've also used a special "monster spray" when my sisters were little. (99 cent spray bottle with water). I would spray their rooms before bedtime (make sure to get under the bed, closets, all the scary places! This really helped too.

Marcia - posted on 01/17/2010

My son who is nearly 4 became scared of his room about 2 months ago. I eave the passage light on for him now and he seems to be fine but any other light eg.laundry bthroom or toilet light and he kicks up a stink. Goodluck

Debbie - posted on 01/16/2010

Mine all of the sudden is afraid and some of these I will try because she has crawled into bed with me for the last four months or so. Tonight I learned that there are a few items in her room that she is scared of at night but likes to play with during the day. Maybe that could be part of your problem.

Alka - posted on 01/16/2010

Maybe you can try, singing her to sleep... it really works - its lkie 'sound sleep therapy'

Rebekah - posted on 01/14/2010

My son is 3 (nearly 4) and just out of the blue became scared of the dark at bedtime and would try every stalling technique he could think of to keep me in there. He isn't totally over it, but its been going better again. We use two nightlights (repositioned closer to the bed), I play a CD of lullabies, and there is an air filter going to drown out other house noises. He has an ample supply of "bed friends" (stuffed animals) and I have him tell them a story after I tuck him in and leave the room before he goes to sleep. Its rather fun to hear on the monitor what he comes up with! I don't know if this would backfire with other children (being playful in bed when they should be sleeping), but it works for Ethan...he gets so caught up in the story he's telling, he isn't focused on his fears. And then he falls asleep somewhere mid story.



I've heard some parents say the "monster spray" works...but I've also read that it can actually reinforce the notion that there are indeed monsters to be concerned about. Reassurance is the best thing, and maybe use positive reinforcement (sticker chart, fun activities) for when she does a good job staying in bed or at least reducing the number of times she's jumping out of bed. I also support the idea of making sure her room is like a haven for her (not a time out place), as well as "debunking" her fears--like discovering what the shadows really are, have her play around with shadows on her own to give her a sense of control if that is something she is scared of.



Good luck!



Rebekah

Carla - posted on 01/14/2010

My son is hesitant too, he's afraid of monsters, I just keep reassuring him that monsters don't exist. He still has to have me prove to him every night that there aren't any monsters under his bed, so we check the whole room before he goes to sleep. He also has a lamp in his room, which reflect shadows on the walls which at first he was terrified of, so I've taught him all about shadows, and that everything has a shadow in the light, this has really calmed his fears about that. He also has a tv which I leave on without any volume on it...hope that helps a bit.

Deanna - posted on 01/13/2010

I am sorry for you my 3yr old adopted son sleeps with me he has attachment problems , and a few other problems so I plan on trying some of the ideas people have given you I think music and light is a must but not too much light then they will stay up and play. I am happy to hear the no time out in the room I plan on trying that since I at this time make him go to bed for time out. Thanks for the help!

Erin - posted on 01/12/2010

You could try decorating her room and making it something she likes so she would at least like her room...when my son was afraid of monsters I gave him a flashlight and told him it was a laser that would zap monsters away (this was instead of monster spray because I didn't want everything covered in water as he LOVES spray bottles!). I think music is a good idea, or some other white noise to keep from hearing "scary" noises...keep trying to reassure her, and maybe explain that sometimes mom & dad are scared of things too and it is perfectly normal, but that everything should be ok! Maybe you could take her to something like Build-a-bear and have her build a "protector" for her @ night? Good luck! It should pass eventually!

Christy - posted on 01/12/2010

When my daughter turned three she began to get scared of every weird sound and dark room. My daughter sleeps better when I have soft music playing in her room and she has a stuffed dog that I told her would keep her safe at night. She still sleeps with the covers over her head.

Sharmeen - posted on 01/11/2010

my son is the same, every night he runs into our room. he was fine until a few months ago, not really sure what happened!

Valerie - posted on 01/10/2010

Make a dream catcher to catch all of the scary things.

Anne-Marie - posted on 01/10/2010

I don't know if you do or don't, but don't use the bedroom for time outs, as I think that makes them not like their rooms. I'd also suggest playtime in her room. My son has a train table in his room and loves to go up to his room to play trains!

Cori - posted on 01/10/2010

Quoting Amy:

have u tried putting a normal lamp in there (a dimmish 1) my son hates the dark so i leave his door open and leave the landing light on. hope this helps x

yes she has 5 lights (all very dim) and she still wont stay up there.

Amy - posted on 01/10/2010

have u tried putting a normal lamp in there (a dimmish 1) my son hates the dark so i leave his door open and leave the landing light on. hope this helps x