How do you get your older child to be nice to the younger

Megan - posted on 02/17/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My daughter ellie is not wanting to share toys not nothing with her younger sister.. I have tried everything nothing is working.. ANy ideas>?

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Moni - posted on 02/19/2010

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I kind of have the reverse problem my youngest son 21 mths doesn't want to share with his older brother 3 yrs old... I have conflict with them not wanting to share... But when my oldest didn't want to share with this little brother....I would by them dollar toys and buy two... then take one away so they would have to share and then give it back when they actually shared something...

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Zaklina - posted on 02/20/2010

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My older son is 3 years old and my yanger son will be 2 next thursday, only 15 months difference. I think that the problem is not that your daughter does not want to share the toys with her brother but she fells him as a treat (he is yanger and he gets more attention from mamy). I think that you can let her do things around the baby like let her wipe his mouth, let her to hold the spoon while you feed the boy or let her show him how to crowl and than told her bravoo and kiss her and tell her that her brother loves her a lot. With one word make her fill helpfull around the little brother. You can also let the girl choose the toy for her brother and she can open the toy and show the baby how to play with it. This things helped me a lot.

Megan - posted on 02/18/2010

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Thanks for your reply... It helps a little but mine are 3 and 9 months.. So the nine month old doesn't play with the older ones toys.. She wants to take the 9 month old toys awafe from her..

Megan - posted on 02/18/2010

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Hi thanks for your reply...

Ellie jo is my oldest she is going to be 4 years old in june.. Annie will be one in may.. i understand they are going to have conflict and all that... But when does it stop...

Melissa - posted on 02/17/2010

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My girls are the same way. I just try to distract them with another toy if that's what they are fighting over or another book, if that doesn't work then I will take it away and bring it back out a few days later. Usually the older one (3 years) will find another toy and trade the younger one (22 months) for the toy that they both really wanted. Works great when they are fighting over baby dolls and the older one helps the younger find another baby to play with and they put the dolls in the strollers and go about playing. Not sure if that helps you but it works for us.

Alison - posted on 02/17/2010

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How old are the girls? You must expect some conflict in the relationship and try to intervene as little as possible. What I was told about sharing was to talk about how happy it would make the other child. Encourage the behaviors you like, ignore the behaviors you dislike, give consequences for unacceptable behavior.



Remember that girls are very competitive, they will compete for your attention and for things. But the younger sister often seems to learn to do her share of bullying.

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