How do you handle tantrums in public?

Natalie - posted on 07/13/2009

Isn't it the most embarrassing thing ever! I have twins who turned 3 in April.. My children learned very fast. Drop what you are doing, take them to the car. I know its not fun leaving the cart and having to come back to the store later but i promise you it works. Do the same with the restaurant, get up and walk out.

Diana - posted on 07/12/2009

I too.....had to deal with tantrum especially my daughter would screamed in the middle of the aisle when she doesn't want to follow me along. I stay consistent by letting them know before we walk in and say, No screaming, No crying, and if you DO, we're leaving the store.

One thing I have done is bring snack/sippy cup to remain calm but often time I have to really shop quickly if I know they are going to have any tantrum. The other thing is I get them excited by seeing the fish tank. We hang out for about 10 minutes before they get satisfied and allow me to get my grocery list. Also, I do get them to participate with me looking for an item too.

Sometimes my twins say "Toy store" which mean toy aisle, I tell them that you can touch and play and say, good-bye, see you next time!

They really do LOVE to shop with me. At the same time they do not know that they can 'beg' for me to buy something they want yet. I am not looking forward to those days!

Fiona - posted on 07/06/2009

My son has started doing the same, at the moment I just leave the store to show him that I meant business

Jessica - posted on 07/05/2009

I've been there myself with my 3 year old only my son started throwing fits around the age of 2 in public. I use the same method as Jennifer Rochelle if he throws a tantrum I pick him up and walk right back to the car as warnings don't work when he doesn't get what he wants. I've only had to do it twice with him and now I can give him the warning that if he doesn't stop we're leaving immediately. I have also gone as far as telling him before I even let him out of the car what I expect of him in the store and tell him what the consequence will be if he doesn't behave

Dawn - posted on 07/03/2009

That's a tough one. Sometimes, I cut the trip short and leave...but I usually don't. I don't want my daughter to see that her bad behavior can control what the family does. I loved the response about the time outs in the grocery store...might have to try that one. The one that has been working for me recently is asking very calmly and somewhat incredulously "Ayla, when you scream, do you EVER get what you want?" She will shake her head no and usually stop...she KNOWS it won't work.

Alison - posted on 06/29/2009

A great book that talks about this is "The Good Mom Myth". I am too tired to get into the details today. :( Good luck!

Natalie - posted on 06/26/2009

I tell my 2 1/2 y.o. where we are going and what we will be doing there. Whether its to the mall, supermarket or park. At the mall I tell her how many shops we are going into and that if she listens to mummy and is good she gets to choose lunch. (I get away with this because she always chooses sushi) At the supermarket she gets to collect and carry an item home, usually the nappies or bread. At the park before we leave she gets to have to more go on the slide or another turn on the swing before we leave. As long as she knows what we are doing and what is expected of her we are generally ok. On the off times she does throw a tanty I walk about ten steps away and let her have at. Once shes done we carry on. Don't give in and ignore others stares most of them have been there but have chosen to forget that their sweet angels ever did something like that!

Marcy - posted on 06/25/2009

We have been pretty lucky with our son (he is almost 3) and have had very few instances when he has pitched a fit. On one occasion i remember he got really upset becasue it was time to leave and he was not done playing with the Thomas the Train set. I gave him the 5 minute warning, then the 2 minute warning, and then told him it was time and he would not budge. I picked him up and walked out. When I put him down he turned around and went running back in to the store. I went in, got him and picked him up again and this time I walked further away from the store. He was kicking, screaming etc (you get the picture). I put him down and he had a full blown out fit. I told him that I was going to sit close by until he was done and when he was he could come over. He was pretty ticked off for about 20 minutes or so. Now when we have these type of moments I just do the same thing but his "sulking" only lasts for about 5 minutes. I never give in.....even when I get the stares from other people.

Julie - posted on 06/25/2009

I have found with my son that if he knows why/what we are going to the store for (and it is NOT to buy him something) that he doesn't usually have a tantrum because he knows we're not there to buy something for him. Also, if he does have one, I give him one warning (at the beginning of the tantrum) and if he continues witht he behavior, then he has to sit for three minutes on the floor (in a safe place). I've only had to actually put him in time-out twice -- usually the warning is enough to settle him down. Be consistent and stick to your word. My husband and I will praise our son when we 'catch' him doing well and that also seems to help. If in a restaurant and he would start acting out, my husband will take him away from the table and outside or int he lobby area to settle him down -- have him sit on the bench (or floor) quietly. Once he is settled down, explain to him that the behavior he was doing at the table was not acceptable - then return to the table.

Tara - posted on 06/22/2009

When my son (3 in July) acts out in public he gets one warning then I put him on time out, seriuosly lol he gets the same thing at home why not in public as well? I have put him on time out in safeway when we where grochery shopping, sat him down on the floor told him two min and started walking up and down the isle where I could still see him he sat there the entire time and didn't act out after that at all, he doesn't act out often in public and warning usually work. He has been on time out twice in public so far the second time was at A&W I turned his chair around to face the wall and he had to sit there for 2 min. I have gotten alot of complements on it from other people. It works for us and he gest the picture that acting out doesn't fly anywhere with me.

Jennifer - posted on 06/22/2009

I feel for you! With my son if he won't take the warning to stop screaming and adjust his behavior I pick him up and we leave! Often we have been able to return to the store after sitting out front or in the car a few minutes but there have been times we have just gone home. I have also had the times where I have had to stay, like waiting on a prescription, and he has thrown screaming, kicking fits. I stick to no means no, don't interact with him at all (other then keeping him safe) stay VERY calm, and get my buisness taken care of (amazing how fast they will actually fill a prescription with a screaming toddler at thier counter!). Then I reinterate his poor choice of behavior over and over and when we do get home he has a consequence such as going to his room instead of seeing a favorite show. It happens less and less, and the last MAJOR tantrum he has actually repeate dthe story of when we go to that store, telling me that he won't do it again! So persevere and stay consistant and remeber you are not alone.

Jennifer - posted on 06/22/2009

I feel for you! With my son if he won't take the warning to stop screaming and adjust his behavior I pick him up and we leave! Often we have been able to return to the store after sitting out front or in the car a few minutes but there have been times we have just gone home. I have also had the times where I have had to stay, like waiting on a prescription, and he has thrown screaming, kicking fits. I stick to no means no, don't interact with him at all (other then keeping him safe) stay VERY calm, and get my buisness taken care of (amazing how fast they will actually fill a prescription with a screaming toddler at thier counter!). Then I reinterate his poor choice of behavior over and over and when we do get home he has a consequence such as going to his room instead of seeing a favorite show. It happens less and less, and the last MAJOR tantrum he has actually repeate dthe story of when we go to that store, telling me that he won't do it again! So persevere and stay consistant and remeber you are not alone.