how to become friends with my 6 year old daughter?

Tara - posted on 06/19/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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hi, my name is tara, i want to know how to be close friends with my 5 year old daughter . In the past, i had a very bad relationship with my husband ( he is an angry man and snaps on everything and shouting on anything ) so i was stressed and he used to tell me that my daughter will hate me ...so i always cry and shout on her and wanted her to be perfect , so i used to spank her ... Her dad too , in the past shouted on her . ( i am really sad and regret what i did and realised what i did with her was wrong) Now i want to be friends with her cos she keeps repeating that i am mean to her when i shout or want to teach her somthing . What can i do to gain her freindship and be her mom and friend before it is too late and i loose control.

she had a brother , he is demanding and that is another thing , we cant do anything together or spend time with her cos he wants to do the same thing with us ... she likes art and cooking..... please help me????

thank you

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It will take time, indulge her with the art and cooking. Let her help you cook when ever it is possible and use that time just to be together. Let her lead the chit-chat and show an interest in what she is saying to you. Praise her efforts and thank her for her help. Her brother will need to learn that this is Mummy/Daughter time. You can also get involved in doing art projects with her and this time her brother can also be involved. Again, let her lead the way. Building on a damaged relationship is hard, but the best thing about little kids is that they are so forgiving. Try to find gentle ways of dealing with her when she needs discipline and sometimes accept that you will still need to be a little tough (that's just part of parenting and the kids don't always like it) but let her know you love her. Good luck with this, I hope you and your little girl can find the lovely relationship that you both deserve.

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