How to teach my son to stand up for himself?

Z - posted on 03/15/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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He is not shy. But he cannot defence himself if someone hit him or takes his toy. He just scream for me to settle his problem. He like to tease other kids in the playground. Most of the kids is much bigger. Even with his brother who is 2yo he won't do anything but scream if his brother took his toys. What should I do?

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Rebecca - posted on 03/15/2010

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brainstorm scenarios with him i.e. ask him to come up with suggestions of what he could do instead of screaming for you ... let him put one on the table, and then you make a suggestion and ask him for another etc. throw in some joke solutions, cos a bit of fun helps kids learn faster ... come up with the list together and next time he yells for you, refer back to the list of suggestions and remind him what is on there. it might take a few more tries, but eventually he will start using the suggestions.

each time he yells for you, give him less attention. the first time you can remind him of the full list, the next two or three times you can remind him of the existence of the list and prompt him again how to handle the situation, after that just say: 'i know you know how to handle this on your own. i have faith you can do it.'

then from there only intervene if the violence is extreme or escalating.

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Zaklina - posted on 03/15/2010

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Hi. I think that you should step back and let your son to deal with his brother first (tell him if he want his toy back he has to get it by himself). As long as they are not hearting eachother dont get between them to defend the older son. He will learn and both of them will play better. What is happening when you are not at home, is he dealing better with his brother or he is asking somebody else for help?

K.C. - posted on 03/15/2010

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Let him go. Wouldn't you rather a placid child over an aggressive one? He'll learn to protect what is his when he hits school...

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