[deleted account] ( 15 moms have responded )
My husband has done this twice now - the last time was tonight - my son (3 1/2) was getting upset because he wasn't getting what he wanted so he was starting to cry and scream, and it was just escalating. My husband grabbed him and covered his mouth to stop him from being too loud to wake up our youngest, who is 7 months. I had previously told ds#1 to not wake up ds#2 or else I would be very angry, but he went on to be very loud.
I told hubby to not do that, and he got all upset at me...
Fast forward - I put ds#1 to bed, and just finished a talk with dh - who was basically saying that I was implying that he was being abusive and evil and a bad parent...which I was not...I asked him if his dad ever did that to him when he was growing up, and he got all defensive and said 'yes'..but it never lasted more than a few seconds and I was able to breathe, etc....he says he was not trying to stop our son from breathing (which I never said!)
He was also upset at me because I told him to stop in front of our son, which he feels undermines him, he says I do that all the time. I'm sorry, when he grabs our son and covers his mouth, that is my first reaction!!
My husband thinks that I am extra-sensitive to this because I was abused as a child. Do you think I am being sensitive, or am I being reasonable in saying this isn't acceptable behaviour/parenting??
I am beside myself...I feel we are at an impasse.