my son wont sleep by himself

Sarh - posted on 08/13/2010

Have you tried laying him in his bed and sitting next to his bed holding his hand or rubbing his back... something to let him know your still there? Try having your partner lay him down and say that mommy had to run to the store or something. Sorry, I may not be a big help, I have a very independent 4 yr old girl!! lol.

Ashley - posted on 08/12/2010

We had a big problem for a while with my son - it kind of went in stages. He slept on his own until about 9 months, then he started having night terrors and didn't sleep well. I had health problems and needed my rest. My husband didn't like the crying it out method. So we ended up letting him sleep with us. Looking back I'm glad we had that time to bond. He slept with us until he was almost 3. Then we put his toddler bed (which he wouldn't sleep in in the other room) in our room - and he would sleep in it. He wouldn't fall asleep without me sitting next to it, but he would stay asleep in his bed an even get back in his bed if he got up to go potty. Eventually by the time he was 3.5 we worked him back into the other room in his own bed. But it took a lot of work and effort. I just could never let him come into our bed. If he tried to get into our bed, I would gently take him back to his room. Over and over and over again. Some nights it was a struggle not to just cuddle up with him because I was exhausted. Eventually they kind of just grow out of it. He kind of got uncomfortable in out bed I think - because he started telling his dad he was too big for "our" bed and that he was in the way - and stretching way out trying to push out out of the way. Maybe that helped too.

Terra - posted on 08/12/2010

Here is what we did with my daughter. We skipped the toddler bed all together and went straight to a twin size. We then started a bedtime routine that included a book, lights out, snuggles and singing until she fell asleep. I would then sneak out of the room. She did continue to wake a few times in the middle of the night but instead of bringing her into our bed I went and laid with her in hers. Once she became comfortable with this new arrangement she started sleeping through the night. We haven't had any problems since. We even recently moved and she slept in her new room in her bed on the first night there without fear only excitement.

This wasn't a quick fix but it was very gentle with no tears and it created some very happy sleep associations for my daughter.

Sara - posted on 08/07/2010

we had this issue...i sat outside his door half in the doorway and half out. then moved to the kitchen sitting on bar stools. then moved to the living room, where we are now, he says "where are you" a couple of times and we reply on the couch. this was good for him. in the middle of the night around 3am he climbs into bed with us. last week we made a makeshift bed on the floor and told him if you come into our room then you have to sleep on the floor. he is sleeping on the floor now, at least he is not in our bed and he starts off in his room :) good luck this is a hard one with a persistant child!

Denise - posted on 08/07/2010

terri: i have already tried that, letting him fall asleep in my bed then switch him to his, but he ends up waking up as i am puttin him in his bed!!!!! it was easy on my daughter, like i said she has always liked sleepin on her own...but its a tough one with my lil man...i have also tried telling him he is a big boy and that big boys sleep alone,, still nothing...i seriously dont know what to do anymore!!

Anna - posted on 08/07/2010

make his own room a 'big' deal cos he's a 'big' boy. i follow a routine of dinner, bath, quiet time with cuddles, kids in their beds with night lights (themed ones are great cos they can get their fav) story with emphasis that its a special bedtime story (they can choose book). after book tell them its bed time and that he needs to sleep so the fairies can help him dream but they cant come till hes asleep. it wasnt until my daughter was 30 months before she was sleeping through by herself. does he have a security item? like something silky?

Tameka - posted on 08/06/2010

I've come up with a routine for my daughter. She likes to sleep in the livingroom with the tv on watching cartoons. she refused to sleep in her room. I would make her chocolate milk. I give her a bath, and after the milk should be room temp. Milk is supposed to calm the kids down at night, and i use the no sugar added. I have her go in her room and choose a book to read and wait for me on her bed. She's looking at the pictures calmly and looking a little sluggish. Then i read to her and by then she's laying down and has gotten lazy and comfortable, she stays and says goodnight. With the light still on of course. I have to break her out of that.

Terri - posted on 08/05/2010

I transitioned my 3 year old with a toddler bed in mine and my husbands room. each time he would fall asleep in my bed I or my husband would move him into his bed (in my room) the trick was that I moved the bed 2inches every night until I had it moved outside my room in the hallway. then I left the bathroom nightlight on so in case he woke up he would know where he was. here's the catch..after 2 nights in the hallway, while he was sleeping, I moved him to his own room... the next night after bath..he RAN to his bed in his OWN room!!!!! he slept ALL night long....I was sooo happy!! I know it sounds wierd and all...but it worked for me..I hope if you try it it also works for you!! good luck...=)