Need Advice....Preschooler..........

Leticia - posted on 12/06/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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So lately my 3 1/2 y/o son has been refusing to stay the night over at Grandmas house. He used to be perfectly fine with it because before i had our daughter i used to work really late on weekends and so it was just best to leave him there over night and just go and get him when we woke up in the morning. But this past June my MIL left for about 17 days (so 2 weekends) to go and visit Family in China, since she's gotten back he has refused to spend the night over there and i really really need a night away. Also, i had my daughter this past January, we moved into a new house in august, he started school in sept and we potty trained him in october....i've read that the anxiety could be because of all these New and Different things happening so close together, i just don't know how to make him feel better again and just stay the night over there.....ANY Advice will help. btw, my MIL doesn't live far away at all, she's on the same street just 3 blocks over so it's not like it's an unfamiliar place or anything like that there's no new editions to her home or anything like that either. I just can't figure out what is bugging him to make him freak out.....other moms have told me to just leave him there and he'd be fine, but we've tried that before and he just yells and cries and my MIL can't deal with him doing that as well as her 23 mon old grand daughter (that she practically raises) yelling because my son is. HELP ME!!! My husband and I really want a quiet night at home ( our 11 month old is easy to deal with.lol) and grandmas is the only option.

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i think you're right about all the new changes affecting him. i think he just needs some quality time with you. Maybe drop off the baby for a few hours and spend some one on one time with him. I know how stressful things can be. I have two boys and my MIL doesnt live as close as yours so I dont get many quiet nights at all. I would sneak out when my youngest was really clingy and he was fine. I also suggest spending time at Grandma's with him for a few days and slowly shorten the time you stay with him (or sneak away). Having a second child greatly affects the older one. My oldest is 4 and it was hard for him to adjust to being left at preschool. My son was jealous of all the extra time his younger brother was getting while he was at school. I think maybe your son might be wanting to be with mommy and daddy at night again - like his younger sister gets to do. I know it's easier said than done, but just be patient with him and I'm sure he'll be back to spending the night at Grandma's. Good luck!

Sarah-Jane - posted on 12/07/2009

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I have a 3 1/2 yo as well, he stopped wanting sleepovers a few months after our second child, he would just get sad and ask to come home... we didn't know why. I just went with him to grandma's and I would sit back while she played with him, and then they would play outside and I would stay in, then I went to the shops and he stayed there for a few hours, and after a while he was completly comfortable again and loves sleepovers...I think it's just an age thing, Being three is very different, they don't want to be little kids anymore, but they're not ready to be big kids yet...

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