Playing Naked

Kaye - posted on 03/25/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My son just turned 4 and was caught 'Playing Naked' with a 6 year old friend a few days ago. When both were asked (together then separately) why they were playing this way, they both gave very vauge answers and basically "I don't know, we just wanted to". Anyone else experiencing this with children of a similar age?

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JasonHow - posted on 12/02/2012

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Just relax they are just curios all kids do this but if u ask like, what were u doing or why did u do that they will say excuses because they don't want parents to know it normal but not normal for certain ages

Anja - posted on 04/01/2010

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That is perfectly normal. The only inappropriate thing would be if one of them wouldn't want to play naked or wouldn't want to be touched and the other didn't respect this want. Children have a natural interest in their bodies, they want to learn about it as they want to learn about other things, too. But it is important that the grown-ups teach them that it is okay to say "no" or "stop" and that that should be respected by others.

Stina - posted on 03/31/2010

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How were they playing?

My 5yo and 3 yo share a room and sometimes when they are supposed to be getting changed into pj's or dressed for the day, they stall and play minus their clothes. I come in and find them not dressed or actively moving in that direction and tell them to get some clothes on. When they play naked, they are playing the same way they might if they were clothed- although there is some talk about body parts between them.

If your son and his friend were playing at normal things- just minus their clothes, I don't think I'd be overly concerned. Maybe explain to your son that he should keep his clothes on with his friends because certain things are private. In a casual way, talk with him and ask if there was any touching, or if the 6 yo asked him to touch anything. Regardless of a yes or no answer, take the time to explain that his body is private and some play shouldn't be kept secret- especially if it makes him feel kinda funny. Let him know to tell you or Dad, if anyone ever does touch him or ask him to touch them.

The reason I say this: I was molested as a child and around the age you speak of, I was playing with one of my friends and asked him to take his clothes of, touch me etc. I didn't understand it was wrong and wasn't thinking of it as a sexual thing- was just acting out things that had been happening to me with a peer.

So, use this as an opportunity to ask your son some important questions, don't overreact because it might not be anything serious happening with either child... however, if one of them is instigating touching, you and the other parent may want to ask further questions and try to figure out why this behavior is happening.

Bri - posted on 03/25/2010

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I can't say tht I have experience with the "playing Naked" phase- but my 3yr old does knw the difference between girl parts/boy parts and she doesn't even like to use the bathroom with the door open if there is a male (no matter the age) in the house... Personally I think there isn't anything wrong with it as long as there was no inappropriate behavior.... young children are often curious about the human body but unlike adults- running naked to them is the same as playing with kids of a different race... they don't see these things...they only see friends and fun...I'm sorry I could't be helpful with that issue. BUT I can say that the "I WANT TO" phase is where I have some experience.... I knw it's a little off topic, but my daughter has been testing the waters here lately: drawing on walls, wetting the bed-on purpose-, messing with certain things...and when asked WHY- she replies because she wanted too... the wetting of the bed was answered "cause i didn't want to stop watching tv".... I myself am wondering what to do about this... While she is being honest I think she's doing things to see how far we as her parents will go in the discipline... so if u have any advice to give on that end it'd be appreciated..and again I apologize if i couldn't help with the "naked" issue

Rebecca - posted on 03/25/2010

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hmm.... you see i don't think kids stripping is a big deal. i don't think nudity is a big deal. i have issues with my own nudity, but i think that's only cos my parents made a big issue of it.



i have a number of friends who agree with me on this point. i have a friend who's son is 6 and daughter is 3 and my oldest daughter is 6 and my youngest is 3 -- they often run around in the nick -- we don't view it as something they are "caught" doing ... they've always done it and i am NOT going to give them issues about nudity, which is actually perfectly natural.



they don't do this with all of their friends, but none of the parents i know make a big deal if their kids strip with other kids (except this one ex-friend who converted to islam after going psychotic as a result of anti-natal depression) -- maybe this is also because i live in warmer climes and our kids spend a lot of time swimming and then stripping out of their costumes to get into clothes (they don't normally like to get into their clothes straight after getting out of their costumes) or stripping out of clothes to get into costumes -- they do this in front of each other --- boys and girls.



it is also not unusual to see naked bodies or naked bottoms of 3 year olds on the beach here; no one makes an issue of it. and i live in a pretty conservative country...



i am not sure if you are implying that they were touching each other inappropriately? if so, that is a different matter.... but i won't discuss that unless you indicate that is what you indeed meant.

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