what's the best way to punish two 4 year olds for saying curse words?

TealRose - posted on 04/02/2011

Hot sauce damages children's mouths - causes blisters and burning. It can also damage permanently their oesophagus and stomach lining. Both soap [that froths and chokes and kills children every year] and hot sauce are chemical warfare and dangerous and should never be used on a child. The fact you 'only use a drop' is not the point - it's dangerous ... Usually a child will stop using bad words when you stop reacting to it.

Farrah - posted on 06/14/2010

Simply put, kids repeat what they hear. If possible, try not saying the words yourself or removing your child from situations in which they hear the words. Punishment won't be effective because it just makes the words more enticing. Try explaining that those words are only appropriate to say at home (if that's ok with you).

Felisha - posted on 06/14/2010

I didn't read all the prior posts, so if I repeat what someone else said then I apologize.First, if you or your spouse is cursing then you have to stop. I don't curse but my husband does and my three year old picked it up from him. It's hard telling a grown man that they can't curse in their own home but hey, it is what it is. Second, I've always been told that you should ignore it. If a child says or does something bad and you chastise them then they know its something bad and tend to do it again because people are making a big deal about it. But if you ignore it then they do it less often- I agree and disagree with this method though because it could backfire. But at 4 they may be able to understand that some words are big people words and some aren't and kids shouldn't use big people words. I hope it makes sense and i hope it helps.

Lenash - posted on 06/14/2010

just deprive them of not taking them to their best places and mention to them not to use words of that sort other wise you will not take them to the park or to watch their favourite movie or anything they have interest in. Just give it a try and see if it will work.

Angie - posted on 06/12/2010

I would calmly have a word with your kids and say thats adult words and you should not use them. Tell them how it makes you feel. Ignoring it just does it make it go away I tried that one. I said to them like if they said the F word I said replace it with freakin or friggin and also with words like shit and ass I would say replace it with rubbish and bum,butt or backside. My kids grew up around their papa who every second word would be a cuss word. Don't make a big massive deal about it because it will only push them to do it more. Failing that use soap I did it with my nephew and he never swore again ;-)

Carisa - posted on 06/10/2010

I haven't had much of a problem yet, but when my daughter says a word I don't like (this includes taunting other kids) I tell they are not nice things to say and hurt peoples feelings. This has worked for her, but it might just be her personality.

We also don't say bad words in our house...we made an effort to stop when she was born. I am also a stay at home mom, so she is not exposed to many other kids without me being around.

Jamie - posted on 06/10/2010

My son has repeated bad words in context that my husband says (oh sh*t, d@mn it). I have tried to get my husband to stop and he has for the most part. As for my son, we came up with a list of funny words to say instead of the bad words (freckles, squad, super pooper, and others that he liked). I remind him if he says unacceptable words/phrases (oh my god is a big one) and he replaces the word. I don't think it is fair to punish him when he is repeating what he hears. Children mimick the environment they are around usually.

Rachel - posted on 05/31/2010

My four yr old daughter came out with a few shockers, we spoke about it and I explained it makes me sad to hear her talk like that.
we also try not to curse at home. We have a rule that if a "naughty" word slips out that we apologise to whoever is in the room. I have found myself apologising to her on a few occasions,
Now if she hears someone else swearing, she looks at me with wide eyes and says "oops they said a naughty word", and marches up to them demanding an apology. I have also explained that other people do it, but we have our family rules, and as long as she is part of our family, our rules apply.

Claude - posted on 05/19/2010

My son was starting to say bad words also. I started to dip my finger in cod liver oil and put it in his mouth, I was too afraid to give him hot sauce or soap (I only had at that time anti bacterial soap!). The taste is so bad but still very good for him as it is full of vitamin E! Now, when my husband slip and say a bad word too, my son turns toward me and tell me to give him "fish oil", he is laughing so hard when I do it! Of course for "daddy" I make believe because it is so bad!!!

Shaolin - posted on 05/17/2010

cristiana my baby eats hot sauce lol.
I usually give my daughter an alternative word to say.My daughter yelled from the bathroom one day mommy you gotta come wash my ass.....
I told her you don't say ass you say booty. I told her ass is a bad word. So at first she use to say I say booty not ass...so I told her don't say ass in my mean voice. And she says booty
same thing with the word pissed. Her dad broke his promise and she started say I'm pissed at him. After a couple times of correcting her she now says i'm upset with daddy. But alternative words is a start. I don't think a 24hr punishment works because they be done forgot why they in trouble. But they learn what they hear.

Cristina - posted on 05/15/2010

cussing and "ugly" words are unacceptable in our house... even my husband and myself refrain from cursing... my son will be four in June, if he says something not okay he gets hot sauce (from taco bell) on the back of a teaspoon in his mouth. this reminds him that he needs to be careful of the things that are coming out of his mouth... i only have had to do this twice for unappropriate language and once for biting... Good Luck and stand your ground whatever you decide : )

Ashley - posted on 05/12/2010

I have to agree with Alexandria , I allowed my son to say them and I ignored it he stopped saying it in front of me because he knew but that did not stop him from saying it at daycare and at school to the point were he was put on a probation for his behaviour and of course I had no idea how bad it had gotten . I was given some advice from a friend that had 5 boys , she said to take my son to the side and ask him for four things that he would really like to do , go to the park , buy a toy , play board games etc and write them down at the end of every evening I had a calendar that him and I made and if he was on his best behaviour he would get a sticker on the board and if he went 7 days in a row with the stickers then we would do that for him and after about 2 and half months he was so wound up in the excitment of picking things to do and how many stickers on the board he tried very hard not to use bad words . worked for me and on the days that he did curse I had to sit and talk to him similar to alexandria so that he knew nobody would get away with it and if it were mom or dad then whichever one of us had done it the opposite had to take him for his activity because we were punished as well. My son has anger problems and this helped with them as well they are considering him to be Bi-Polar .

Jamie - posted on 03/18/2010

I used a bar of soap in my daughters mouth. She was getting really bad! She would get really upset when I put it in her mouth but she stopped cussing and would even catch herslf before she said something she knew she wasnt supposed to. Its worth a try at least. It doesnt hurt them.

Heather - posted on 03/17/2010

thanks all for the help!

Alexandria - posted on 03/17/2010

My son just turned 4 and he has a tendancy to say some bad words as well. He knows that what he is saying is wrong and just doesnt think about it sometimes. So when i hear him say something, i always say i beg your pardon? and get him to repeat what he said. 9 times out of 10 he wont repeat it to me because he knows that he should not of said it. Sometimes he wants to be cheeky and repeats it and i sit down with him and explain that it is a very bad word and asked him where he got it from. Sometimes he tells me he heard Daddy say it and then we go have a talk to Daddy about it, sometimes he says he heard it at daycare and i explain that it is an inapropriate word and that we dont say it. I know that lots of people say just to ignore the behavior, but for my son that told him it was ok to say it so he would continue, this way has helped me alot and i bearly hear any curse words come out of his mouth now .... hope this helps a little, good luck!

Jami - posted on 03/16/2010

my 3 and 4 year olds say what the fuck all the time and it is getting so bad I ignor them but it seems like they say it many times in the day I don't know what I will do I hope they grow out of it soon.

Erin - posted on 03/16/2010

it helped to tell our son to talk nice and then ignore it. they're trying to get a rise out of you and all the punishing in the world isn't going to make them stop!

Alison - posted on 03/16/2010

For me curse words is very hard line (although we are not quite there yet). It is entirely unacceptable. I would suggest depriving them of a certain toy or privilege (no TV for the rest of the day or for 24 hours) or an early bedtime. Something that will really make them not want to repeat the behavior.