won't go potty at home ever!

Ashley - posted on 08/12/2010

1. Talk to his doctor. If he does it for his grandparents, he can do it and it's probably a control issue or something else that needs to be addresed. The doctor may have a good suggestion. 2. Don't put him in pull ups for school (although they won't like him going in his pants, they are supposed to be potty trained for pre-k). Just tell him he has to go to the potty in the toilet because all the kids do that, and pack him extra clothes. If he doesn't do it and he sees that most of the other kids do, he will start doing it at school. 3. Stop feeling so bad about yourself. That will not help you. That will only make things worse. You will feel bad, he will feel bad. In my experience, it has to be a positive and rewarding system for them to potty train.

Alison - posted on 08/12/2010

Do not beat yourself up over this, do not hold him back from school, do not treat him like a baby. I agree about letting him clean up his own mess, take off his soiled clothes (do help to make sure he gets cleaned off properly). He will most likely do just fine at school. If not, you can discuss strategies with his teachers (they have dealt with this stuff before!).

Stop pressuring yourself and stop pressuring him.

Elisabeth - posted on 07/29/2010

I would suggest skip the potty all together and teach him how to use the toilet.

Quite simply I would say to your son what you have said here ie. you are starting pre-school soon and you have to know how to use a toilet - let's start practicing now!

Make sure you make a big fuss when he gets it right. Give him a big smile, tell him how proud you are of him, tell him what a clever and big boy he is now that he is able to do it right.

When he has an accident and doesn't make it to the toilet don't get cranky at him. Say to him 'accidents happen, lets see if we can get you on the toilet in time next time!' and leave it at that ... don't harp on about it and dont' let him overhear you speaking about the subject with anybody else.

Personally I'd ditch the pull ups altogether, put him in boys underwear - let him pick some that he likes when buying them and let him choose what pair he wants to put on each morning.

I think bribing and rewarding with 'things' is really a pointless exercise - he shouldn't be rewarded with things but should be rewarded with you being happy with him and proud of him - that way he will learn to be happy with, and proud of, himself.

If his grandparents have potty's at their homes then remove them too and when he next visits make it a big deal for him or you to say 'Hey guess what! (Child's name) is going to use the toilet from now on' 'Isn't he getting clever!' 'What a big boy he is now'.

Positive reinforcement will always work better than getting cross with them when they don't get it right :-)

Renee - posted on 07/27/2010

I don't think there is anything wrong with you or him. I think he wants to be in control of doing it when he wants. Maybe if you try turning it into a game he might enjoy going. Get a timer and pretend that your having a race to see who can go potty the fastest. Whoever go the fastest get a reward of your choosing. It might not be the way most people would teach their child to go potty but if it works who cares? I know it might seem silly but for my 3 1/2 year old, making learning into a game always gets his attention. This game might not work but keep trying different things. Traditional might not be his forte. Good luck and I will pray for you.

Martine - posted on 07/23/2010

hello ive got a 3year old girl an i had the same problem but then i realised the potty was the problem she started to say it was to small or it hurt so i went an got her one that looks like a proper tiolet it has the flushing sounds an congratulates them when they go she hasnt looked back since hope it works out for the wee man

Tracey - posted on 07/22/2010

a friend of mine once suggested to me to just start putting him in underwear...if he wets himself let him be wet for a while and also make him help you clean the mess...sounds a little strong but might work for you...as for me i bribed him with McD's...i put it into his head about two weeks before that he was going to start wearing underwear(he had been doing really well at daycare and used ony 1 pull up if even a day) and for everyday that he was dry he would get a sticker...then told him that at the end of the week if he had accumulated 5 stickers he got to get a special trip to McD's...and it doesn't necessarily have to be that but just maybe something really big(at least in his mind) that makes it worth the effort

Carisa - posted on 07/18/2010

Most schools will not take him if he is not potty trained. Have you tried telling him he can't go to school unless he uses the potty all the time? That works for a lot of kids. Otherwise, talk to the teacher, they may be willing to work with you...chances are one accident at school is all it will take to get him to go on the potty (it's a mindset, he can do it but won't)

Stacy - posted on 07/17/2010

my son was able to go to kindergarten when he was still in pullups...since he wont go at home it sounds to me like he is lazy or just feels too much pressure on the potty emphasis at home...try backing off and see if he will go on his own...my son was doing the same thing up until may then he stopped for a month and now the past few days has had accidents in his pants...i dont understand whats wrong...i honestly think hes lazy and just does not want to go because if he can stop for a month why wont he stop all together?